Nine Funny Male Characters of the 2012-2013 TV Season

Not a lot of funny new male characters this TV season. The girls steal the show in Girls; The Mindy Project’s goofy male nurse is more absurd than amusing. Jim Halpert’s (John Krasinski) career change and subsequent marital issues have sucked the life out of the mischievous prankster. Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) was absent for most of the season and emotionally unstable for the rest. How I Met Your Mother creators need to learn when the dead lie down. Suburgatory is sub-par in spite of Jeremy Sisto who should stick with dramas. I’ve no interest in a sitcom (Neighbors) that can be summed up as 3rd Rock from the Sun meets The Coneheads meets Alf meets Mork & Mindy.

So, proven sitcoms like Modern Family and Parks and Recreation provided the most consistent laughs this year. With 30 Rock and The Office finished and the future of Happy Endings yet to be revealed, let’s hope next fall the networks bring the funny.

Mitchell Pritchett

Mitchell Pritchett/Jesse Tyler Fergusun (Modern Family)-This snarky ginger may not be good with power tools but his insults can cut deeper and faster than a power saw. Mitchell is not fond of his partner, Cam’s (Eric Stonestreet) stories about his rural upbringing or his clown persona Fizbo. He often accuses Cam of exaggerating, being too sensitive and overly dramatic (all true). He’s taken on more of a caretaker role of daughter Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) which hasn’t been an easy transition. Mitchell has struggled with everything from dealing with schoolyard bullies-with the aid of nephew Luke (Nolan Gould), to Lily’s burgeoning sarcasm. He also, due to extreme fatigue, told his adopted daughter that her real mother was a princess.

“Well, let’s see. That’s where we keep our gun collection, our abandoned refrigerator and our chocolate-covered hypodermic needles.”

“Okay, here I-I need to point out that she’s five and not a character from Dynasty.”

Jay Pritchett

Jay Pritchett/Ed O’Neill (Modern Family)-The patriarch of Modern Family has undergone a major life change with the birth of his son. He and wife Gloria (Sofia Vergara) were expelled from parenting class due to their disruptive behavior and heckling the instructor. He favors taking his infant son to James Bond movies instead of “mommy and me” classes. Jay hates yard sales and named his son Fulgencio “Joe” to broker some good will with his mother-in-law; He’s been pretty successful in striking a balance between his old-school “traditional” values and the often bizarre antics of his large blended family.

“If you had a husband who liked picking out strollers, you wouldn’t be having a baby.”

“The only difference between this (a yard sale) and a home invasion is I get to shoot people at a home invasion.”

Sheldon Cooper

Sheldon Cooper/Jim Parsons (The Big Bang Theory)-Theoretical physicist Sheldon Cooper took on a creative project close to his heart this season; his web show Fun with Flags that explores everything a person would neither need or want to know about domestic and international flags. His envy over pal Howard Wolowitz’s (Simon Helberg) career success manifested as a battle over a parking space even though Sheldon has no car. Sheldon’s lack of understanding regarding standard social, especially when it comes to women, resulted in him being accused of sexual harassment. He continues to maintain a non-sexual relationship with girlfriend Amy but has earned a false reputation of being a sex machine among his colleagues.

“Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brains, you don’t even know which way is up.”

“What can I say? I put the ‘fun’ in funeral.”

Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson/Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation)-Finally in a healthy long-term relationship with a woman not named Tammy, Nick has hit a few snags dating a woman who has two young daughters. He’s a meat lover, a staunch Libertarian, an outdoorsman and a covert smooth jazz musician, an elixir he used to woo his current girlfriend, Diane (Lucy Lawless). Despite having completely different political ideologies, Ron and Leslie are very close. He even escorted down the aisle on her wedding day. In addition to winning his first Indiana Fine Woodworking Award for one of his chairs, it looks like Ron might experience another first, fatherhood.           

“I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful projects, future projects and past projects. The Hoover Dam is a travesty.”

“Son, there is no wrong way to consume alcohol.”

Nick Miller

Nick Miller/Jake Johnson (New Girl)-The surly bartender hasn’t progressed professionally and personally things took a nose dive when his con-man father passed away. He does find a way to turn a personal tragedy in an excuse to behave badly when he receives on of his father track suits from his mother. He invokes the “dead dad pass” which allows for any behavior, no matter how inexcusable be overlooked. He’s found a confidant outside the loft, a mysterious Asian man who Nick met at the park one day. Nick doesn’t trust fish, moonwalks out of uncomfortable or tense situations and does plumbing work when angry.

“Well, I don’t know what Mazel Tov means but it doesn’t sound good.”

“You have to take a little responsibility tarting around in that little soft pink robe not expecting to get kissed. I am a man Jessica! Pink robes are my catnip.”

Brad Williams

Brad Williams/Damon Wayons Jr. (Happy Endings)-Brad is a man of many talents: amateur ventriloquist, top-notch Bat/Bar Mitzvah entertainer and insatiable sex machine to name a few. Brad underwent a career crisis this season leaving him free to explore a multitude of interests like candle making. Brad also discovered that Jane keeps an anatomically-correct mannequin lookalike of him in their storage unit. He took playing second fiddle financially to wife Jane (Eliza Coup) pretty well until she transformed him into a trophy husband to help her get in good with the boys’ club at her job. He showed up to her job in full diva Real Housewife mode with a new pet pig dressed in a tennis sweater.

“You have no idea what you’ve just started Max (Adam Pally). People are going to get hurt, family members forced to take sides, innocent Brads yelled at and denied sex for weeks. Winter’s coming.”

“Hell no, I will not toast to that bird. He is racist. You know, one time he saw me get out of a town car and asked me what team I played for?”

Max Blum

Max Blum/Adam Pally (Happy Endings)-The complete antithesis of the stereotypical gay man, Max is out of shape and slovenly. He still hasn’t found Mr. Right but engages in dalliances with delivery men. Even when Max tries to do something good, his innate inability to commit any type of philanthropic act takes over. After offering to care for his incapacitated best friend Penny (Casey Wilson), Max sabotaged her recovery so he could hook up with her physical therapist. Always broke, he’s finds creative ways to make money like entering a gay male beauty pageant.

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) and Dave talk about the civil war.”

“I say a lot of things I don’t mean like ‘I’ll pay you back’ or ‘I’m good to drive.’”

Phil Dunphy

Phil Dunphy/Ty Burrell (Modern Family)-Viewers have seen a tougher side of Phil this season. Inspired by The Godfather, the usually mild-mannered Phil showed his diabolical side when he orchestrated, with the help of his son Luke, revenge and cover-ups on behalf of all three of his children. He also blackmailed his brother-in-law to take the fall for trying to nix Claire and Cam’s dreams of house flipping. He’s also gone toe to toe with his arch nemesis and fellow real estate agent Gil Thorpe (Rob Riggle).

“That’s the funny thing about marriage. You fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time, they begin to seem ordinary. I think it’s all the nagging.”

“Why do I listen to you? Why? You were wrong about the iPod being a failure. You were wrong about tomato being a vegetable. I don’t even want to talk about your favorite planet, Pluto. And unless she was lying to the good ladies of The View, it’s de-Mi not dem-Mi!”

Tom Haverford

Tom Haverford/Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation)-Tom, parks department employee and part owner of Rent-A-Swag, had to endure a judge’s ruling that he go one week without screens (phone, tablets, computer or TV) after causing an accident while tweeting. He’s currently in a dysfunctional relationship with ex-business partner and full-time douche Jean-Ralphio’s (Ben Schwartz) crazy sister Mona-Lisa (Jenny Slate).

“Yeah, sorry, I can’t use my GPS, but I figured it out. I just drove around in circles until I saw something familiar.”

“Business is booming. If it keeps up like this, I would leave the parks department and do Rent-A-Swag full-time, maybe even expand. I could add a baby section over there and call it “LiL Swaggers.” I could add some old people stuff and call it Rent-A-Sag. Ugh, no. Old people are gross.”

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