We all have one. That one TV character who you would totally kick it with if they were, well, real. I’m talking about the TV BFF. Our sitcom soulmate. Our cable series compadre. I happen to be a very choosy individual, so I can’t just pick one TV BFF, hence the reason why I created this column. Each week, I will break down the pros and cons of every TV character that I imagine would be the perfect pal to tell all my secrets to while sipping cocktails at our fave watering hole. That one person who could tell me that I have spinach stuck in my teeth, and I know she’s doing it because she loves me and not because she’s being a jerk.
This week’s BFF: Ann Perkins.
Confession: I have a pretty hardcore girl crush on Rashida Jones, who plays Ann Perkins on 'Parks and Recreation.' She’s smart! She’s funny! She rocks bangs like no other! While I’m aware that Rashida is a real person, and Ann is not, I can’t help but think that a lot of Rashida’s real awesomeness has rubbed off on her character, and that’s why she is my inaugural choice.
She Once Ate an Entire Cheesecake for Leslie
Talk about solidarity. When Leslie’s relationship with Ben is in jeopardy, it takes Ann to make Leslie realize how she’s been steamrolling him. If that wasn’t being enough of a good friend, Ann shares with Ben that she once ate an entire cheesecake (!) at a party to make Leslie look good. When Ben asked her why she just didn’t throw the cheesecake out, Ann says, “Because with everything she’s done for me, I’d eat ten cheesecakes for her." By doing so, girlfriend solidified herself as a serious friend, as well as proved that she can eat! I want a friend whose voracious appetite matches her voracious loyalty.
She’s a Fun Drunk
Ann’s definitely not afraid to let her hair down and enjoy a couple (or more) cocktails, and every woman needs a girlfriend who can bust out a drunken version of “Lady Marmalade.” It’s pretty much mandatory.
She Dyed Her Hair Post-Breakup
I kinda loved that straight-laced Ann dyed a few strands of her hair that ugly red shade, because she was trying to get over her breakup with Chris. I mean, who hasn’t done something a little silly and out of character because their heart was just shattered into itty bitty pieces? It was real, and it was vulnerable, and it made me heart her more (besides wanting to wash that dye out ASAP).
She Wants Her Friends to Be Happy
Even though Leslie had her initial doubts about dating Ben, Ann was rooting for them to get together. She even made them a mixed CD of love songs once to set the mood. It didn’t matter if Ann was single. Like she said, she just wanted Leslie to be happy, and that’s a true friend right there.
She’s Kind of a Pushover
Ann watched all eight 'Harry Potter' movies (a serious commitment that spans about, like, a whole day without sleep), because Leslie wanted her to. I’m sure Leslie didn’t tie Ann to the chair (she’s not that controlling), but Ann hated every minute of it. It says a lot about their friendship, but I think sitting through one 'Harry Potter' is good enough to do for her friend. (But if Ann would sit through twelve hours of butter beer and muggles, that probably means she’d watch the entire 'Gilmore Girls' series, or all of Meg Ryan’s movies in the ‘90s. Right?)
Her eBay User Name is Questionable
Okay, so she’s known as the "FutureMrsTigerWoods" in the online bartering world. It’s not an ultimate dealbreaker, but it does beg the question: did she choose her user name before or after the infamous Tiger Woods sex scandal?
Though Ann doesn’t like to jog, and I do, she does describe to the ye old testament “besties before testies” and that is something I could definitely get on board with. With her imminent exit from Pawnee looming, Ann will be looking for new girl companionship, and if slipping between TV worlds was as easy as it looks in ‘Pleasantville,’ I know we’d definitely be kicking it over a big chunk of cheesecake.
'Parks and Recreation' airs Thursdays on NBC at 8/7c.