Tim Vine

Mostly Credited As: Tim Vine
Birth Name: Tim Vine
Date Of Birth: March 04, 1967 (Age 49)
Country Of Birth: United Kingdom
Birth Place: Cheam, Surrey, England
Height: 6' 2" (1.87 m)

Tim Vine

TV Appearances

Main cast 
Celebrity Squares (2014) (2014)As: Himself
Blandings (2013)As: Sebastian Beach (Series 2-present)
Don't Blow the Inheritance (2012)As: Presenter
Zoo Factor (2010)As: Various -- [Voice]
Let's Dance for Comic Relief (2009)As: Himself (Finalist - Series 5)
Not Going Out (2006)As: Tim (S2 - S5)
Comic Relief Does Fame Academy (2003)As: Himself (Series 3 - 4th Eliminated)
The Sketch Show (2001)As: Various
Call My Bluff (UK) (1965)As: Panelist
Episode Cast Credits 

Countdown (1982) 
  Episode 6106 72x50: (Mar/19/2015) As Himself 
  Episode 6105 72x49: (Mar/18/2015) As Himself 
  Episode 6104 72x48: (Mar/17/2015) As Himself 
  Episode 6103 72x47: (Mar/16/2015) As Himself 

Good Morning Britain (2014) 
  March 18, 2015 01x229: (Mar/18/2015) As Himself 
  September 10, 2014 01x98: (Sep/10/2014) As Himself 

Room 101 (1994) 
  Tim Vine, Len Goodman, Ronni Ancona 15x01: (Jan/02/2015) As Himself 

Weekend (2014) 
  Weekend at Christmas 01x41: (Dec/25/2014) As Himself 

Gadget Man (2012) 
  Weather 03x01: (Aug/25/2014) As Himself 

BBC Breakfast (2000) 
  August 19, 2014 15x231: (Aug/19/2014) As Himself 
  February 14, 2014 15x45: (Feb/14/2014) As Himself 
  March 18, 2011 12x77: (Mar/18/2011) As Himself 
  November 19, 2010 11x323: (Nov/19/2010) As Himself 

Catchphrase (2013) (2013) 
  Series 2, Celebrity Special - Tim Vine, Mel Giedroyc, Ashley Roberts 02x12: (Jun/22/2014) As Himself 

Draw It! (2014) 
  Episode 20 01x20: (May/30/2014) As Himself 
  Episode 19 01x19: (May/29/2014) As Himself 
  Episode 18 01x18: (May/28/2014) As Himself 
  Episode 17 01x17: (May/27/2014) As Himself 

Songs of Praise (1961) 
  Comic Relief 53x09: (Mar/03/2013) As Himself 

Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask (2011) 
  Series 2, Episode 1 02x01: (Feb/26/2013) As Himself 

Let's Dance for Comic Relief (2009) 
  Series 5, Episode 1 05x01: (Feb/16/2013) As Himself 

The One Show (2006) 
  February 13, 2013 07x124: (Feb/13/2013) As Himself 
  February 10, 2012 06x144: (Feb/10/2012) As Himself 
  July 20, 2009 04x11: (Jul/20/2009) As Himself 

QI (2003) 
  Jolly 10x17: (Jan/11/2013) As Himself 

Pointless Celebrities (2011) 
  Series 3, Episode 6 03x06: (Dec/01/2012) As Himself 

The Chase: Celebrity Special (2011) 
  Nicholas Owen, Laila Rouass, Vanessa Feltz, Tim Vine 02x06: (Oct/07/2012) As Himself 

Daybreak (2010) 
  August 30, 2012 02x253: (Aug/30/2012) As Himself 
  January 27, 2011 01x104: (Jan/27/2011) As Himself 

Live With... (2012) 
  May 21, 2012 01x31: (May/21/2012) As Himself 

This Morning (1988) 
  April 13, 2012 24x152: (Apr/13/2012) As Himself 

The Greatest Carry on Films (2011) 
  Episode 1 01x01: (Dec/27/2011) As Himself 

Argumental (2008) 
  Tim Vine, Stephen Mangan 04x07: (Dec/15/2011) As Himself 

The Alan Titchmarsh Show (2007) 
  Series 9, Episode 49 09x49: (Nov/10/2011) As Himself 
  Series 7, Episode 7 07x07: (Oct/05/2010) As Himself 

Comic Relief (1986) 
  The Big One 15x01: (Mar/18/2011) As Himself 

A Question of Sport (1968) 
  Series 40, Episode 11 40x11: (Feb/07/2011) As Himself 

Comedy Rocks with Jason Manford (2010) 
  Episode 3 01x03: (Jan/28/2011) As Himself 

Carpool (2010) 
  Episode 9 01x09: (Jan/26/2011) As Himself 

Live From Studio Five (2009) 
  Series 2, Show 39 02x39: (Nov/04/2010) As Himself 

GMTV (1993) 
  August 23, 2010 18x235: (Aug/23/2010) As Himself 

Loose Women (1999) 
  Series 14, Show 227 14x227: (Jul/23/2010) As Himself, [Interviewees]
  Series 5, Show 20 05x20: (Aug/15/2003) As Himself, [Interviewees]
  Series 13, Show 102 13x102: (Feb/03/2009) As Himself, [Interviewees]
  Series 12, Show 12 12x12: (Sep/18/2007) As Himself, [Interviewees]

Celebrity Mastermind (2003) 
  Series 6, Episode 4 06x04: (Dec/31/2008) As Himself 

Celebrity Juice (2008) 
  Jack Whitehall, Emma Bunton, Lee Ryan and Tim Vine 01x04: (Oct/15/2008) As Himself, [Special Guest Stars]

Richard & Judy (2001) 
  Series 10, Show 26 10x26: (Jul/21/2008) As Himself 
  Series 1, Show 19 01x19: (Dec/20/2001) As Himself 

Through the Keyhole (1987) 
  Series 20, Show 20 20x20: (Jun/04/2008) As Himself 
  Series 20, Show 13 20x13: (May/26/2008) As Himself 
  Series 20, Show 11 20x11: (May/20/2008) As Himself 
  Series 20, Show 5 20x05: (May/12/2008) As Himself 

Believe Nothing (2002) 
  Get Rich Quick 01x01: (Jul/14/2002) As Dave Short 

Noel's Telly Years (1996) 
  Series 2, 1971 02x02: (Jan/17/1997) As Himself 

Pebble Mill (1991) 
  Series 5, Show 21 05x21: (Nov/15/1995) As Himself 
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Many of Vine's jokes have been falsely attributed to Tommy Cooper; the West End show about Tommy Cooper actually features some of Vine's jokes.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said, "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."

So I rang up a local building firm and said, "I want a skip outside my house." He said, "I'm not stopping you."

Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, "This is unusual". Then the dentist said to me, "Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet".

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, "no, the steaks are too high".

I was reading this book, 'The History of Glue'. I couldn't put it down.

I got a job as the Duke of Edinburgh's hairdresser. The other day I parked outside Buckingham Palace and a policeman came up to me and said "have you got a permit?" And I said, "no, I've just got to take a bit off the back".

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.

Exit signs. They're on the way out, aren't they?

When I was at school people used to throw gold bars at me. I was the victim of bullion.

Tim's brother is Jeremy Vine, the British television journalist and presenter on BBC Radio 2.

Tim's first attempt at stand up was on December 8th 1990 at a friends flat. One of his jokes was about thinking that the film Dumbo was a documentary.

Holds the Guinness world record for telling the most jokes in an hour.

In 1995 he won the Perrier Best Newcomer Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Tim Vine Quotes

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