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Don Rickles

If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.
 
Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.
 
[When asked by Jay Leno if he ever worries that his insult comedy might be too offensive for the audience]: You know, every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm *not* going to offend!
 
[to Frank Sinatra, who arrived during his act] C'mon in, Frank. Make yourself at home - hit somebody.
 
[about Sammy Davis Jr.] You can't get Negro help like that anymore. Wow, to have a guy who can sing, dance - and dust!
 

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