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David Letterman

David Letterman: I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
 
David Letterman: Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

 
David Letterman: There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.
 
David Letterman: People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
 
David Letterman: Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.
 
David Letterman: For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
 
David Letterman: Everyone has this sense of togetherness right now. For example, one guy on the subway today, he wanted to share my pants.
 

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