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Police Squad!: Testimony of Evil (Dead Men Don't Laugh)

A comedian goes off the road and Police Squad! suspects foul play. Frank takes his place as stand-up comedian at the same club and soon discovers a sinister drug ring.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x6
Production Number: 006
Airdate: Thursday July 08th, 1982

Special Guest Stars
William ConradWilliam Conrad
As Himself

Starring Roles
Ed WilliamsEd Williams
As Ted Olson
William DuellWilliam Duell
As Johnny

Guest Stars
Peter LupusPeter Lupus
As Norberg
Dick ClarkDick Clark
As Himself
Claudette NevinsClaudette Nevins
As Veronica
Jerry LayneJerry Layne
As Willy
Wayne WintonWayne Winton
As Coroner
Main Cast
Leslie NielsenLeslie Nielsen
As Det Frank Drebin
Alan NorthAlan North
As Captain Ed Hocken
Rex HamiltonRex Hamilton
As Abraham Lincoln
Hank SimmsHank Simms
voiced Announcer


At Mr. V's nightclub, comedian Joey Culdiss is finishing up his act when Vic calls him into the office to see the boss, Veronica Rivers. She informs him that the Frenchman reported that some of the money Joey was supposed to deliver for her wasn't there. Joey claims he didn't steal a thing and Veronica tells Vic to tell the Frenchman she'll take care of everything. Veronica secretly drugs Joey's drink and reassures him she's not worried, and they share a toast. Later, Joey is driving home and starts to hallucinate and finally goes off the road to his death. ..

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Episode Quotes
Frank: When I arrived at the morgue, my boss had already begun to investigate the physical evidence. As was our custom in such cases, we began to talk.

Coroner: It's a typical 415.
Frank: 415?
Coroner: Yes. The body was found 415' from the car.

Frank: File on Culdiss?
Ed: Yeah, yeah, it's a complete detailed report. Born 19423 in Philadelphia. In and out of foster homes until the age of 15. Then he moved into Smith's home. Wasn't happy there, either. Then he fought Larry Holmes. Last known address was a mobile home in Alabama. Married, one child. That didn't work out so he married a grown woman.

Veronica: Say, that was nice work. You took a big chance doing that.
Frank: Well, you take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your face in a fan.

Ted Olsen: So, you see, Katie, objects get their shape from the arrangement of their molecules. If you applied force to these molecules, their arrangement is altered. The shape of the object changes. Now, did you bring me your Crying Judy doll?
Katie: Here she is, Mr. Olsen.
Ted Olsen: All right. Now let's see what happens when we put Crying Judy in the trash compactor. Oh, hi, Frank. Katie, why don't you run along now. Next week we'll learn why cows look forward to giving milk.

Dick Clark: Johnny, uh, some kids on the show yesterday mentioned a new kind of music. Ska. Know anything about it?
Johnny: How should I know? (Dick Clark pays him) Nothing but a modern offshoot of reggae, updated white rock influences, definitely upbeat. Will never become really popular because even though they made the backbeat more conventional, it's still too exotic for mass acceptance.
Dick Clark: Johnny, I need some more of that secret-formula youth cream.

Episode References
Special Guest Star William Conrad is tossed from a speeding car with a knife in his chest

Act II: Lieber

Other Episode Crew

CreatorJim Abrahams (1)  |  David Zucker  |  Jerry Zucker
Executive ProducerJerry Zucker  |  David Zucker  |  Jim Abrahams (1)
ProducerRobert K. Weiss
Associate ProducerDeborah Hwang-Marriott  |  Richard Correll
CastingSally Powers
Unit Production ManagerRon Fury
First Assistant DirectorJack Clements (1)
Second Assistant DirectorAlice West
MusicIra Newborn
Music EditorDarryl Duran
HairstylistLinda Buffa
Make-upRon Walters
Set DecoratorBruce Gibeson
Script SupervisorJan Kemper
Director of PhotographySherman Kunkel
Story EditorNeil Thompson  |  Tino Insana  |  Nancy Steen  |  Robert Wuhl
Stunt CoordinatorRalph Garrett
Art DirectorSeymour Klate
Sound MixerRichard Bryce Goodman
Executive Story EditorDavid Misch
Film EditorTom Benko
Executive Script ConsultantPat Proft
Women's CostumerKaren Kaufman
Men's CostumerMike Butler
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