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  Tuesday, July 14th 2009 7:14 am  
» The truth about cats and dogs' diaries
The Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog Food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates
and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order
to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely make condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means, and how to use
it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an
informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe, for now.
 
Reactions (4)
cindy

Posts: 19972
Contrib Points: 5428.7
Since: 12/Jan/06
Posted on Tuesday, July 14th 2009 2:18 pm 
I've read this somewhere before, but it still cracks me up.

 
manson_rules

Posts: 4093
Contrib Points: 147.5
Since: 01/Jan/06
Posted on Tuesday, July 14th 2009 6:12 pm 
This blog came at a good time

Cats 'exploit' humans by purring


haha
 
a_j_raffles

Posts: 77
Contrib Points: 5404
Since: 02/Dec/05
Posted on Thursday, July 16th 2009 1:16 am 
Lol Gus - I wonder if Number Six was really the Village cat!!
 
Piggie8

Posts: 6568
Contrib Points: 2569.9
Since: 09/Apr/06
Posted on Thursday, July 16th 2009 2:21 pm 
I've read this and I never fail to laugh each time!! It makes me think what my dogs are thinking, but probably no different from above.
 
Gus

Gus


Timezone: Sep 1st, 2014, 5:04 am
Level: 39 (30%)
Forum Posts: 3564
Submitted Reviews: 9
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