Episode Quotes
Leon: Er, it's Kerry's birthday by the way...
Lawson: Is it?
Leon: Oh come on, take the bet. Come on. Any amount. (Lawson walks away) I know you want to. Come on you stingy bastard.
Josh: I thought we were still working on taking her out. And rooting her.
Michael: I for one would bonk Kerry anytime she wanted.
Shannon: But she doesn't want Michael, that's your problem.
Michael: Thank you Shannon. Jerk. We gotta work this out properly. Let's just say we all have sex with her, because she's hot, okay?
Stella: So the bet is, whoever takes her home, wins if they have sex with her.
Josh: So each person puts in 20 bucks, so I get $100 if I root Kerry.
Michael: But does she have to confirm it?
Stella: Of course not. Say she roots Lawson, she's not gonna broadcast it.
Michael: Oh what, so we're just going on the word of the person who gets to do it?
Stella: Oh good point. Okay, new rule. Whoever has sex with Kerry has to film it for evidence.
(Lawson pulls a face)
Josh: (about Kerry) How old is she?
Lawson: Ah, she's 42. No, no, she's 43.
Josh: How do you know that? (Lawson smiles)
Stella: We'll have to get her something.
Shannon: Why don't we get her a couple of bottles of champagne and take it back at the end of shift.
Michael: (who is hungover) Ah, no thank you Shannon. (to Josh) Why can't you drive?
Josh: Because I'm a sergeant.
Michael: I'll spew in your lap.
Josh: I'll kick box you in the head mate.
Michael: (after he takes a couple of panadol) Ahhh! Michael feel better soon.
Stella: Hey guys, what are we going to get Kerry?
Josh: A vase?
Stella: You do not get a 43 year old woman a vase. It'll just make her feel old.
Shannon: No, something nice and tasteful.
Stella: Something sexy. Crotchless knickers.
Lawson: Get her jewellery, a bangle or something.
Stella: What's a bangle? You mean a bracelet?
Shannon: I think dinner. Dinner somewhere posh. Easy.
Josh: What's that gonna cost all of us?
Lawson: Someone takes her, and everyone else chips in.
Stella: So Lawson's volunteering, right? He gets to take her home!
Michael: Oh hang on, that's actually quite good. And whoever takes her out, gets to go home and have hot inspector sex.
Josh: Hey, I'm in!
Stella: Yep, me too.
Josh: No, that's the first rule, it's gotta be a bloke.
Stella: That's sexist!
Michael: Stell, Kerry's not gonna have sex with you.
Stella: Oh right, like she's gonna have sex with you!
Michael: Well if I win, I get to have a crack.
Michael: (to Lawson, about the football) Oh come on sweetheart, there's always next year.
Lawson: Alright, head towards St Kilda.
Stella: Don't get some awful sponge cake, with shit all over it and sparkles and stuff.
Shannon: Yeah and don't get 43 candles.
Lawson: Look, I've got this okay? I will get something good. Relax. I know what she likes.
Stella: Did you notice how he wasn't much into the conversation.
Shannon: About what?
Stella: All the stuff about having sex with Kerry. He shuts up as soon as we start on it.
Shannon: Yeah, you're right.
Stella: I reckon they've done it.
Shannon: No, he's just being Lawson. Being Mr I'm Boss. Do you think?
Stella: Yes! They definitely had something for a while there.
Shannon: Ohhh. I wonder what happened. She's hot.
Stella: She's totally hot. For someone her age. (Shannon laughs) What? It's true. I'd do her.