ALF: Is this correct? $11,000 for a balloon payment?
Willie: That's correct
ALF: Well, you're getting ripped off, you can get an entire package of balloons for sixty-nine cents.

Willie: So you understand what a balloon payment is, and you understand what a garage sale is.
ALF: Yes, now would you please explain secular humanism again?

ALF: It would have been a great bottle if not for the ship inside.
Willie: It's a Nina!
ALF: Sorry, on Melmac we didn't name our bottles.

Kate: Mom, since when do you bet on horses?
Dorothy: All my life.
Kate: That's funny, I can't picture you at a racetrack
ALF: I can picture her running!

ALF: Forgive my ignorance, but what's a bookie?
Kate: An unsavory element
ALF: Like oregano?

Dorothy: It's my money
ALF: But it's our inheritance!
Dorothy: For your information, I am planning to leave all my money to the alien task force!

Dorothy: I think your neighbors are having a garage sale today too.
Kate: You're kidding.
Dorothy: Yeah, they've gotta couple of beat up chairs and an old sofa out on their front lawn.
Kate: Oh yeah, that's the way it always looks.

Willie: He placed a bet with your bookie and lost six grand!
ALF: When you say it, it sounds so sleazy.