Mike: There you go labeling again, why can't you just accept Paul for what he is?
Archie: Fine, what is he?
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Mike: You know you're totally incomprehensible
Archie: Maybe so but I make a lot of sense
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(To Gloria)
Archie: You give some of those weirdos one night, and they take a month.
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(Regarding Robin)
Archie: Look Edith, this is his old lady.
Edith: This young girl is your mother?
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Archie: Edith why do you leave the Bible on top of the television set?
Edith: Because it keeps falling off the refridgerator.
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Archie: This is a Christian home, Get out!!
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Archie: If I was afraid of it (sex), you wouldn't be here, right, Edith? (Long pause)
Edith: I'm trying to remember...
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Archie: Edith, what are they eating here?
Edith: Raw vegetables.
Archie: It looks like something from the bottom of a hampsters cage.
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(To Paul)
Archie: Let me ask you something Paul, when exactly did you decide to become a freak?.
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Paul: Robin doesn't talk much.
Archie: What does Robin do? Chirp?
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Paul: Robin says...
Gloria: We don't care what Robin says, Robin shut up!
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(Gloria, Mike, and Edith Singing)
Archie: (Wakes up) I must have die and gone to the wrong place because you all sound like Hell.
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