Edith: Stop trying to fight with me!
Archie: I'm not trying to argue with you. I am just trying to find out what's wrong.
Edith: If you want to fight with me, you're going to get one!
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(To the whole family)
Edith: Leave me alone, dammit!
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Michael: It never occurred to me before but Mickey Mouse is black.
Archie: Oh get out of here with that!
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Edith: How can you say that to me? That's a terrible thing to say.
Archie: What? Stifle? I've been saying that to you for years so stifle!
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Archie: After 23 years of stifles the dingbat turns on me.
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Gloria: Ma, are you starting to get forgetful?
Edith: Forgetful? I don't know, let me think.
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(To Gloria)
Edith: Well, my Aunt Elizabeth went through this. She didn't get any manifestations at all she got a mustache!
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Edith: I can't believe this. When I was a young girl, I didn't know what every young girl should know. Now that I'm getting old, I don't know what every old lady should know.
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Archie: Let me show you this all bear band at Disney World.
Edith: A naked band at Disney World!?
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