Chris' day starts with an envelope of cash on the counter. A note on the
back says his mom is gone for a few days, and he should be good. It's
$1000. Stanley figures he should buy bonds. Low risk, steady return, tax
free. When they laugh at him, Stanley gets defensive. He's been
investing his birthday money since he was 7. What's the big deal. Abudd
comes in and starts throwing the money everywhere. Tony notices that
Chris is depressed and asks him how he's going to spend all that money.
He throws a huge party and gets completely hammered. Abudd tells Tea
that Chris took a bunch of pills, and he's had an erection for like 15
hours. He asks Tea to dance with him, but she says she doesn't dance
with boys. He tells her to make exceptions. Tony asks to talk to her,
and she leaves to dance with Abudd.
Stanley and some girl are completely wasted, but he's trying to tell her
he loves someone else. She hurls all over him and passes out. Cadie sees
Stan and he waves but blows past her.
Chris' crush teacher, Tina, shows up at his party. He slows the music
way down and asks her to dance. She asks where his mom is, since she
wanted her there to discuss his school progress. She realizes he lied
and tries to tell him she's not that kind of a teacher. Nothing can
happen between them. He doesn't want anything. He just wants to dance
with her, so she'll stop being sad. She agrees to stay, and they dance.
Chris is happy, but they're interrupted by his erection. She leaves, and
he can't stop her.
Michelle undressed and gets in bed, and Tony doesn't even notice. His
mind is completely elsewhere. He tells Michelle what he likes about her
body is that one tit is bigger than the other. Stanley staggers in,
looking for a t-shirt. Michelle asks him what he thinks of them, is one
bigger? He says no, he doesn't know - his eyes are blurred. They're
nice.Tony gives him a clean t-shirt and he leaves. Tony goes to get into
bed with Michelle, and she tells him his eyes are supposed to blur, too.
She tries to freeze him out but gives in in a matter of seconds.
The next morning, Daisy asks Chris if he's okay. He says yeah, and
offers to walk her home. She says it's miles, but thanks. They enjoy a
cup of milk together. She asks where his mom is, and he says he has no idea.
Stanley asks Cadie what he should have said about Michelle. They're
nice? Symmetrical? What's the right word, even? Cadie says nice would
have been okay. He's afraid Michelle is going to be mad at him. Cadie
asks how long they're going to keep pretending they're having sex, and
he says they can stop now. He thinks maybe he should have just told
Michelle they were perfect. Does Cadie think that's what she wanted to
Chris ordered five pizzas and doesn't have enough money to pay for them
all. He tells the delivery guy that sometimes his mom keeps money
upstairs, he'll be right back. when he checks her dresser, he finds all
the drawers are empty. So is her closet. She's gone.
Tony and Stanley are talking about Stanley's non-sex life. He's in the
wardrobe trying to shut the doors when it tips over. He tells them that
she took everything with her. Tony says seven years bad luck. Chris
broke a mirror when the wardrobe fell.
Cadie and Stanley are seated on either side of the pizza guy talking
about their sex life (since Tea asked). He says traditional, she says
crazy. Cadie says he put her in a piledriver, and Tea asks him exactly
what that is. He can't tell her, because he doesn't know. He tries to
fake his way through it.
They ask Chris where the money is, because the pizza man won't let them
eat until he pays. He says the money is all gone. $1000 really isn't
that much when you think about it.
Stanley tries to pawn a sound system, but they're not interested.
There's a toaster pastry in the CD slot. He can't even get a junk man to
take it off his hands. He will take the wheelbarrow though. Chris says
he'll take cash, but the guy only offers him $20 so Chris says fine.
He'll take the pills.
When he wakes up, he finds that his goldfish is dead. The toilet is
gone, and somebody wrote on the wall "Your mom's a whore." When he goes
to take a shower, some guy is sleeping in his tub. Chris goes into a
rage and tries to kick him out. He falls down the stairs and is knocked
unconscious. He comes to and tries to throw the guy out but they get
reversed. Chris is outside, and the guy refuses to let him back in. He
says when Chris calms down, in like a day or two, they can talk. Chris
walks down the street naked.
Tina asks him what he's going to do . He's wrapped in a blanket, blaming
himself. She tells him he didn't mess everything up. All his friends
bring him clothes. Tony's being a smart ass, so Daisy calls him on it.
Could he do it, all on his own? No mom, no dad. Tony thinks it sounds
good. Chris admits that he has a dad.
Daisy hits the door knocker. Nobody answers, so he tries to leave. His
stepmom answers the door and invites them in. He tries to leave, but
Daisy refuses. They wait for his dad. She asks after his mom, and he
says she's fine. Daisy tries to tell the truth, but he cuts her off. She
shows pictures of Chris to Daisy, but he says they aren't him. They're
his brother, Pete.
When his dad gets home, his stepmom goes out to talk to him, and they
whisper. The baby starts crying, and Chris tries to comfort him. The
stepmom and his dad are yelling, fighting - Chris runs, with Daisy in
hot pursuit. He stops in a graveyard. they sit down cross-legged and
talk. She asks if he's okay. He starts talking about cub scouts, and
tying knots. He remembers peeing his pants in cub scouts. This kid
blocked him, wouldn't let him leave. He called the kid penis face, and
he doesn't know if they were laughing because he wet himself, or because
he said penis face. He said Peter stood up, took Chris' hand and took
him to the bathroom and got him cleaned up. He gave Chris his shorts so
he could wear dry shorts. Peter went back out there with him, wearing
his underwear. Nobody laughed. Best day of his life.
Daisy asks if Chris' mom will come back. He says she's not gone. He
knows she's here, because she left flowers by the grave.
The kids are doing a drinking game to an infomercial. Stanley excuses
himself to use the toilet, and Cadie follows him. She thinks they should
go on a date. Tea still doesn't believe Stanley and Cadie were doing it,
but she flashes the gang anyway.
Tina opens her hatch and finds Chris sleeping back there. He goes to her
house, and she lets him stay in her nieces' room for a few days. She
could lose her job over it, so please don't let this get out. They say
good night, and Chris gets in bed with a smile on his face. Share this article with your friends