Episode viewers (millions, Live + Same Day): 6.65

Larry: (talking about the P.T.A.) Bickering and petty politics? Oh, that sounds delightful. Just like Zabvronian council.

Jackie: I'm confused. I'm very confused. It would appear that Dick is not doing a great job. In fact, I would say that he is the worst player on the team, and yet you keep lying about his performance.
Marty: Listen, Jackie, coaching's about positive reinforcement. Okay, let's face it, kid's never gonna be David Beckham.
Jackie: We almost named him David Beckham.

Debbie: (to Elizabeth) The P.T.A. is about everyone.
Larry: Everyone.
Debbie: Not just one person.
Larry: Yes, today it's about cookies. Tomorrow it's banning your potbellied daughter
from the yearbook.

Debbie: Oh, dear Lord, those shorts.
Marty: Yeah, they still fit.
Debbie: Do they?

Larry: (to Jackie) Oh, these humans and their "everyone's special" baloney. Have fun sucking hind teat to the rest of the universe, losers.

Jackie: Team, loyalty vote. Would you rather follow me to victory or coach Weaver
to certain defeat? Choose now!
visual: All of the kids side with Jackie.
Marty: Max?
Max: Come on, dad! Look at her in those shorts! I just got puberty.

Debbie: How was practice?
Marty: Jackie made me cry.

Debbie: (to Marty) It's hardly Manchester United.

Debbie is indicating Marty's attempt at coaching soccer is not remotely like Manchester United, a famous English professional football (soccer) club.

Jackie: (to Marty, about her son Dick Butkus) We almost named him David Beckham.

David Beckham is a famous English professional football (soccer) player.