Marty: So while people are picking through our old crap in the front yard, you might wanna give the heads-up to the other aliens to stay inside, maybe keep the strange to a minimum.
Larry: Yes, 'cause there's nothing strange about humans picking through your old crap.
Jackie: Oh. Dick's been watching reruns of your old late night talk shows. He's decided he wants to be a sidekick someday.
Jackie: Help me, Debbie Weaver. I'm one ba-zing away from blowing my brains out.
Larry: It doesn't mean they have any business in the workplace. Men are better at it. We command more respect. We are born leaders.
Jackie: Put a cork in it, four-eyes. (to Debbie) I'd love to sell your old crap, (to Larry) and you can't stop me.
Dick: Jackie Joyner-Kersee, everybody! And now a word from the good people at Texaco.
Suburban Dad: Hi. This is quite the racquet you've got here.
Jackie: It's not a racket, sir. It's a garage sale. And everything is completely above board!
Suburban Dad: (shows Jackie a tennis racquet) The racquet. I'll give you ten bucks for it?
Jeremy: I got good news for you, dude. I'm ready to take you back.
Amber: I have bad news for you, ma'am. I broke up with you. It's over, Jeremy.
Abby: We're supposed to be talking about badges. What are we doing?
Larry: What your mothers are supposed to be doing... preparing you for your future, little women. This is how you will spend your days... in the kitchen, quietly waiting for your husbands to come home from work. Don't... get... fat.
Debbie: And we are...
Jackie: Done! 49 to go.
Debbie: We're never gonna make it!
Jackie: Not a chance in hell.
Jill: Please tell me these are very small 18 year olds.
Debbie: Oh, my God. I'm running' a sweatshop.
Debbie: Okay, girls, why don't you go back over to my house? And I'll help you earn...
(Garage door whirring) the "how to lie to your parents about what happened here" badge.
Abby: I see sunlight.
Tanner: Air. Sweet, sweet air.
Debbie: Why is it so hot in here?
Larry: Makes their fingers more pliable.
Jackie: Please, Debbie Weaver. I admit that the child slave labor might have been a misstep, but don't give up on us. Not on "bag hags." I was trying out a new name. Sleep on it.
Giselle: Look, I'm not stupid. I see the way you make him laugh. I know you like him, and now he knows, too.
Giselle: Not done. Here's what you need to know... I like him and I'm not going away. I fight for the things I like. I fought for season nine of "One Tree Hill," and I will fight for Reggie. You mess with the bull, you get the horns. (goes into Reggie's house)
Amber: Oh, my God. She's crazy.
Amber: It's totally over. Everyone knows it. He just won't go away. He's like American Idol.
American Idol is a television talent show that debuted in 2002 and has seen its ratings decline in recent years.
Amber: Good God, man. Why am I on the hood of your car? And why am I Latina?
Jeremy: Technically, it's Selena. The guys at the detail place only paint dead Latin pop stars, and you looked more like her than Ritchie Valens.
Selena Quintanilla-Pérez was an American singer of Mexican descent. Ritchie Valens was also an American singer of Mexican descent. Both died tragically at an early age, Selena at 23 and Valens at 17.
Marty: Stop! I can see the whole field. I am Dan Marino.
Dan Marino was an American football player considered one of the top quarterbacks to ever play the game.