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Dharma & Greg :: Pilot (01x01)

 
Episode Information
 
Title: Pilot
Episode #: 01x01
Production Number: AE79
Original Airdate: Wednesday September 24th, 1997
9/10 (1 Vote cast)
Episode Crew
Director: James Burrows (1)
Writer: Dottie Dartland
Chuck Lorre
 
Episode Summary
 
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Dharma and Greg get married on their first date and must tell their respective parents.
 
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Guest Stars
 
Guest Stars
Scott HavenplayedKarlRecurring (first appearance)
Elaine KaganplayedWoman on Train 
John MarianoplayedMan 
Matthew WeissplayedYoung Greg 
Megan ButalaplayedYoung Dharma 
 
Episode Quotes
 
Greg: (Meeting Dharma for the first time) Dharma Finkelstein?
Dharma: Yeah, I know. My dad was Jewish, but he wished he was the Dalai Lama
 
Dharma: My family lived in Reno for a couple years 'til my dad fixed the van.
 
Greg: I'd usually exchange phone numbers with you, we'd start dating, things would go pretty well at first, until I started calling you too much, then you'd get annoyed and start screening your calls, so I call you really late 'cause I know you'll be home, you pick up, I panic, hang up, you star-69 me, I'm too embarrassed to ever talk to you again, so we break up.
Dharma: Aaack! Let's not do that!
 
(Dharma hears Greg's cell phone ringing, finds it in the pocket of his trousers hanging on the bed post, answers it)
Dharma: Greg's pants.(pause) He's not in them right now.
 
Dharma: I was just so sure he was the one.
Abby: I know, darlin'. Maybe someday he will be. That's what reincarnation is for.
 
Dharma: You must have had to compromise a lot for Larry.
Abby: Well, not really. Not anything I had to stick with. Your father blew out his short-term memory back in 1972
 
Greg: Married, I can’t believe it…are we nuts?
Dharma: Yea… but think of the great story we’ll be able to tell our children.
Greg: Oh good you want to have children.
Dharma: Yea, unless you want to have them
 
Dharma: Greg... I want you to meet Stinky... and this is Stinky's dog, Nunzio.
Greg: Stinky has his own dog?
Dharma: Yeah... it was his Bar mitzvah present.
 
Kitty: Gregory, if you care about this girl you will end this marriage now.
Greg: How can you say that?
Kitty: Darling, I know free spirits like her. I went to Vassar and believe me, after a few years of hanging on your arm at political dinners with this fake smile pasted on her face, all she will be good for is crawling into a bottle of Chardonnay with a Nieman Marcus catalog and a bottle of Valium the size of your head...or so one imagines.
 
Dharma: You know you can scream anything you want to at a baseball game and it doesn't even have to make sense.
Greg: No.
Dharma: Yeah. Watch this...Come on big guy; drive your coffee table to Idaho.
 
Greg: I can't stop thinking about that girl on the train. I'm an idiot. I should have gone after her; I should have talked to her.
Pete: No, you shouldn't have. I'll tell you why. You would have gone over to her and said something like, "You were looking at me-I know you want me." Next thing you know you're rolling around on the floor with a face full of pepper spray.
Greg: Good talking to you Pete
 
Jane: (Hugging Greg) If you cause my friend any emotional pain whatsoever, I'll punish you in ways you can't even imagine
 
 
Episode Notes
 
 
 
Featured Songs
 
 
 
Episode Goofs
 
 
 
Cultural References
 
 
 
Episode References
 
 
 
Analysis
 
 

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