Ellery: Unfortunately, Mr. Brimmer, you're asking me to be a ghost writer.
Simon Brimmer: A technicality.
Ellery: Not to me.
Simon Brimmer: Well, all right then, let's say a very rich ghost. With silk sheets.
Simon Brimmer: Something important?
Ellery: I don't know. Anyway, Mr. Brimmer, thanks for your offer. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Simon Brimmer: I hope you know you're making a mistake.
Ellery: Oh, probably. I make a lot of them.
Inspector Queen: Almost as far-fetched as one of your books. A dying clue, which makes absolutely no sense. Which means of course it's right up your alley.
Ellery: Tell me about her.
Inspector Queen: Name's, uh, Monica Gray. One of the top fashion designers since the war. Your wife would probably be wearing her fall line. If you were married.
(as Ellery examines a television)
Inspector Queen: You ever see one of those things before?
Ellery: Eh? A few.
Inspector Queen: Damn nuisance. Friend of mine has one. People keep dropping in.
Ellery: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. It's just a passing fad.
Ellery: Wait a minute.
Inspector Queen: You got something.
Ellery: Very clever, Dad, very shrewd.
Inspector Queen: Who, who?
Ellery: You. You know I'm supposed to be home, finishing a book, you know I got a deadline to meet, but you drag me up here and you dangle all this catnip in front of me.
Inspector Queen: Now, Ellery, I'm not trying...
Ellery: That's it, I'm going home. You're not gonna suck me in this time.
Inspector Queen: Son, you're doing me an injustice. Besides, I know you. Let's face it, you're hooked! You can't walk out of here!
Ellery: Goodnight, Dad. (leaves)
Velie: Ah, gee, that's too bad, Inspector. I thought you had him out of the water and into the boat! (Inspector Queen gestures him to wait, Ellery walks back in)
Ellery: I was just thinking....
Inspector Queen: I guess I got my money's worth.
Ellery: It's really very simple. I, I make it a point to be observant, and to pay attention to details. Goodnight, Dad.
Inspector Queen: Son? You forgot your glasses.
Ellery: You shouldn't be seen in public with me.
Gail Stevens: Why not?
Ellery: Because I'm incredibly stupid.
Inspector Queen: I'm doing my job! Now, if you don't have some hard facts, and I mean something better than the last chapter in a mystery book, you'd better go home and burn yourself some lunch.
Ellery: That's what I like about you, Dad! You've got such a nice, open mind!
Ellery: Velie? I've got a personal problem and so has this department.
Velie: What's that, Maestro?
Ellery: My father is dangerously close to becoming senile!
Inspector Queen: I heard that, and I want you to know I'm changing my will!
District Attorney: Except now we have no suspects and no leads. Satisfied, Ellery?
Ellery: Nah, not really. this is the only case where I spend all my time proving who didn't commit a murder.
Inspector Queen: Maybe I ought to take the gold watch and retire.
Ellery: Maybe you should get a good night's sleep. Come on, Dad. I'll drive you home.
Inspector Queen: Son. You're my only child, and a comfort in my old age...
Police Officer: Inspector!
Inspector Queen: Yeah? But you are the worst driver in the world. If anybody gets behind that wheel, it'll be me.
Ellery: Thank you, everybody, come on, Dad, let's go home.
Inspector Queen: Well, I can't. I've gotta go down to Gramercy Park. Somebody just murdered a millionaire art collector. Just your kind of case, Ellery.
Ellery: Good night, Dad.
Inspector Queen: Really, very strange. Thirty paintings in the house, all of them turned to the wall.
Ellery: Oh, no, no, no. See you at breakfast!
Inspector Queen: What harm would it do to take a look?
Ellery: Did you say thirty paintings turned to the wall?
Inspector Queen: Yeah.