Larry: (to Kate) Big daddy is home and he's ready for lovin'. It may be 9 o' clock in New York, but right here it's Mountin' Time! |
Kate: Larry, this isn't really the time.
Larry: This is the perfect time: You're in heat, I'm not hungry, I just peed... |
Larry: Foo-Lin, I'd like to introduce you to Nelson. Nelson, this is Foo-Lin.
Foo-Lin: Hey Nelson.
Nelson: If you smell something it's not me! It's not! |
Sarmoti: (to Nelson) We all know Foo-Lin is crazy, but who gives a crap? She's a panda, you're a panda. This is the biggest no-brainer in the world. |
Sarmoti: (to Nelson) You're new with women and you're swinging for the fences. Let me save you a lot of heartache: You're not a powerhitter. Just lay down a bunt, get on base and thank the merciful Lord they even let you suit up. |
Sierra: I'm on my way to a party by the reptile house. I probably won't take drugs, but I won't really know until I get there.
Larry: That's fine. See you later. |
Larry: (to Kate) Just know that if Foo-lin is on our couch tomorrow I'm buying a gun on the Internet and hiring someone with fingers to shoot me. |
Siegfried: (to Roy) So, what do we do now, Mr. Smartyhosen? |
Foo-Lin: Don't look at my ass! |
Foo-Lin: I'm going to die a virgin! |
Foo-Lin: I just bought a tandem bicycle! |
Roy: We are like gods...except without the unattractive facial hair. |
Nelson: I love Kate, Larry. I can't help it. She's my perfect woman.
Larry: No, she isn't. You have a crush on her because she's the first woman that was ever nice to you.
Nelson: My mom was nice to me.
Larry: Nelson, I know you don't have a lot of experience, but as a dude, we don't really count moms. |
Larry: We need to talk about you and Kate.
Nelson: It sickens me that she's lain beneath you!...(nervously) That's how it works, right? I mean, I might need to know for later. |
Larry: So you're from Beijing? Must have some geat Chinese food there.
Nelson: Ah, it's not as good as New York. |
Nelson: Hi, I'm Nelson.
Kate: Nelson? I thought your name was Bong Bong.
Nelson: Bong Bong? Oh, that's my slave name. |
Foo-Lin: Did it ever occur to you that maybe I could do better?
Sarmoti: No, that did not occur to me. Good Lord! Your whole species is meshuggah. No wonder you're going extinct.
Foo-Lin: I deserve love!
Sarmoti: Wrong! You're a middle aged, fat, virgin panda. You deserve Nelson. |
Chutney: Larry, do you still have that spare key to my house I gave you?
Larry: What, the turkey lock you out again?
Chutney: I don't know what you're implying, but the turkey's just my roomate. We have seperate bedrooms. It's an economic arrangement. I was tired for cooking for one...ah screw it! I'll get my key from someone else. |