Kevin: And if you need me to roll over anyone, let me know.
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Kevin: Joan! Can I borrow your hairdryer so I can look extra handsome for my job interview at weiner world?
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Jeanne: You don't want to know.
Michael: She's a psychic.
Will: Not in my office, she's not.
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Grace: (about Luke) Do you smell that? It's like essence of pimp
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Charlotte: (talking to Helen) Your daughter has a very special connection to the universe.
Joan: No, I don't.
Luke: No, it's true. She is from another planet.
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Mailwoman (God): (looking at a dollar bill) "In Me You Trust." Not entirely true.
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Joan: People will see us.
Cute Boy (God): Yep, the optic nerve was pretty inspired.
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Joan: This is a metaphor. I looked up "metaphor" – this is definitely an example.
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Luke: You called me a nerd.
Joan: It was a metaphor.
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Kevin: Don't scare the cripple! My fight or flight reflex is very confused.
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Cute Boy (God): You didn't read the book, did you?
Joan: Oh, like you don't know, "Cain, where's your brother?". Very passive-aggressive.
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Kevin: And if you need me to roll over anyone, let me know.
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Kevin: (talking about his dream) I was on fire.
Will: I'll get you some water.
Kevin: Dad, I'm not really on fire.
Will: I'll get you some anyway.
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(In AP Chemistry, Joan and Grace are discussing Joan's taste in men, she says she likes athletes, like wrestlers. Adam constantly looks at her dumbfounded)
Adam: Wrestlers?
Joan: Mind your own business!
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Joan: I meant that they'll see you.
Cute Boy (God): Yeah, I've noticed that this look turns a lot of heads.
Joan: It's called being hot.
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Grace: (to Joan) Hey, Streaky!
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Joan: (to Grace) My dad's Italian. To him, a sandwich is like an opera.
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