Episode Quotes
Adam: I just like hanging out with you 'cause you're Jane.
(She puts her hand on his arm)
Joan: "Joan."
Adam: Uh, what?
Joan: Never mind. Jane is good. We'll stick with Jane.
Adam: Unchallenged.
Joan and Grace: We're not hanging out!
Adam: We're not?
Homeless Man (God): Be not afraid, Joan.
Joan: Be not afraid? What's with that?
Homeless Man (God): Sometimes I like to sound old timey.
Joan: Well I can't do any stunts, no no. And how about the jumps? So so. So why am I here well it's really odd, but I'm here to cheer on a mission from God. So put me in the game or leave me on the bench. So you can go to heaven and I'll get out of French.
Will: That's it? Cheerleading's over?
Joan: Yeah. It's a phase, Dad. Keep up.
Man in hot dog suit (God): What is it with you people? I give you very simple instructions and boom you're right back to false gods.
Joan: Go Eagles, Go Eagles, GO GO GO Eagles!
We live to cheer, we're so sincere, unless you get in trouble then we're outta here. Cause it's such a royal pain when a friend gets arrested. How could I have known? How could I have guessed it? It's not like she's my sister. Whoops! Was that my beeper? And even if she was, am I my sister's keeper? Sorry gotta go, tryouts are today. Tell her we'll think of her everytime we say
Go Eagles! Go Eagles! Go Go Go Eagles!
My name is Joan, this cheer is my own, so kiss my feathers cuz this bird has flown!
Helen: Number one...Andrea, work on your mother's voice before you try that out on me, and two: don't use a disease you can only get on a pirate ship.
Joan: Oh, okay okay, like it's really good for me to hear about people butchering each other for 100 years just because they believed in you!
Man in hot dog suit (God): That´s not about faith. That's politics. It's sort of like the difference between friendship and popularity.
Friedman: (to Luke) Dude, your sister's, like, hot.
Grace: Dude, you're, like, an ass.
Joan: Did it ever occur to you that some of us might want to try and succeed.
Grace: Can you say that with pom-poms?
Grace: (to Luke) Listen, I normally couldn't care less, but I think your sister needs, like, an intervention or something.
Joan: (to Adam) I always thought you'd hate me if I was a cheerleader.
Adam: No way. Why?
Joan: 'Cause we're sub-defectives and it would be like deserting the army.
Grace: (to Luke, about Joan) Is she a pod person now?
Joan: (to Helen) Oh, I don't tell you about cheerleading, therefore I must be pregnant?
Helen: There'd be a list of "bad girls" circulating around the school!
Will: We'd never have let that out.
Helen: The CIA couldn't keep a list like that from getting out in a high school!
Grace: (to Joan) Do you have multiple personality disorder? Is that what this is?
Joan: (to Grace) You're, like, my hero.
Grace: It's the one advantage to being universally despised. You get to say whatever you want.
Adam: Unchallenged.
Friedman: Use the force, Luke.
Luke: Gee. That's...that's a new one.
Luke: Would you do me the honor of applying with me, as my partner for the 2004 Arcadia High science fair?
Adam: Yeah, sure
Luke: Actually, I, I meant...
Grace: (taking out earphones) Did you say something?
Grace: Interesting how something corrosive can tell you what something's made of. Kind of like using gay as an all-purpose insult.
Luke: Does anybody ever wonder if I'm having sex?
Luke: You think they (the cheerleaders) know?
Joan: What, that Mom turned in their alpha dog? Probably. They're going to eat me alive.
Luke: I wouldn't worry. Probably anorexic, or at least vegetarian.
Helen: Brianna's boyfriend is Rex Doherty.
Will: So?
Helen: Son of Councilman Max Doherty.
Will: And you never found that worth mentioning?
Helen: Nobody ever asked about the father.
Friedman: (referring to Grace) Unless of course you and Avril LaGrace over there wanna try to get electricity from a potato.
Friedman: (referring to Jeannie Robinson) Hello, J.Ro.
Friedman: Are you insane?
Luke: What?
Friedman: Glynis Figliola wants to turn sound into light with you.
Luke: I might want to work alone.
Friedman: Dude.
Luke: (annoyed) You keep saying that. What does that mean?
Friedman: Nothing, man.