Flight Attendant (God): I find Career Day a little bit bogus.

Mr. Price: (discussing career day) The point of this afternoon is to pretend that you might one day make a valuable contribution to society. Perhaps you could play along. For example, Ms. Polk, you might want to look into journalism, which is a profession where they actually pay people to be cynical and disaffected.

Grace: I told you about "dude."
Adam: I tried "yo." It didn't take.

Cute Boy (God): Joan, there's nothing I could say about (dying) that would make sense to you.

Mr. Price: And what career would you like to explore Mr Rove?
Adam: I wanna do something soulless and corporate, Mr. Price.
Mr. Price: Good choice.

Luke: You know, it's becoming increasingly obvious the only thing we have in common is DNA.

Joan: Do you need any help?
Will: Do you have any?

Joan: I'm not a psycho. You can ask my friend.
(Adam is banging his head against the bus)
Joan: Or maybe not.

Joan: Dad, you're not in trouble over this, are you?
Will: I'm the chief of police – it's my job to be in trouble.

Joan: What kind of system is it?
Little Girl (God): A perfect one. Trust me.
(There is a long pause)
Joan: I'm listening...
Little Girl (God): I'm finished.

Adam: I hate November.
Grace: How can you hate a month?

Luke: (to Kevin) It's your turn to set the table.
Kevin: My arms are tired!

Grace: What if you just want to live in your car? Where's the booth for that?
Adam: Dude, you have a car?

Adam: Jane, did I know you were coming over?

Helen: (about picking a movie) Nothing sad, I don't want to cry.
Joan: Oh, please. You cried during Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.