District Attorney Fellowes: You're not fighting me on this?
Will: No. We're in complete agreement.
District Attorney Fellowes: I find that disconcerting...
Joan: (to Power-Walking Woman (God)) I always thought you'd be nicer
Joan: So, what, you want me to join the track team? 'Cause I'm not playing field hockey, even for God!
Joan: Mom, I think Grace Polk is juggling the ceramics.
Helen: I can't believe you're not allowed to shoot an armed robber breaking into your home.
Will: Well, honey, you're from the South.
Record store clerk: Thank you for buying in a store rather instead of stealing off the Internet.
Joan: Wait, I need you to help me steal this!
Grace: I'm mad at you! I'm yelling at you! I wouldn't help you do anything! Don't you pick up any signals at all!
Joan: What about the whole Inquisition/Torture business?
Father Malloy: Well, you really are a lot like your mother.
Kevin: Come on, admit it. I'm stronger, faster, better-looking.
Luke: Well, not better looking.
Kevin: (to Luke) You're going to be proud of me again.
Power-Walking Woman (God): (to Joan) I understand you're confused. But there are no dilemmas without confusion, there's no free will without dilemmas, and there's no humanity without free will.
Will: Looks to me like it all worked out for the best.
Toni: Not for Ricky Clark.
(Will gives her a strange look)
Toni: Too Law & Order?