Goth Kid (God): I wouldn't worry about self-defense.
Joan: Then why the psycho mission? Because I didn't sign up for martyrdom.
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Helen: Isn't it strange that you're always awake before I am?
Luke: I like to ambush my brain before fear and reason kick in.
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Helen: Adam Rove would have been thrilled to go (to the dance) with you!
Joan: Hello! Do I have to brief you people every morning? Adam...hates...me. Okay?
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Joan: Wow. Science really is like sex to you, isn't it?
Luke: Well that's...I don't know how to respond to that.
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Joan: (to Adam about his lunch) Is that like "your brain on drugs?"
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Luke: Um, did you want to take off your coat?
Grace: Cool it horn dog! I'm not there yet.
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Grace: Whatever. Long as I don't have to wear a dress.
Luke: (chuckles) Yeah, me too. (realises his mistake) No, not that I would ever wear a dress. But...
Grace: (whispers) It's okay, man.
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Old Lady (God): Observation is a more powerful force than you can possibly reckon. The invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are those that are most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen.
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Helen: So what do we do now? Is it back to therapy or what?
Joan, Will, Kevin and Luke: NO!
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Helen: As for everybody else, if we could just keep it down to one tragedy a month, that would be really great!
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Joan: (to Friedman) Shut it, Brillohead!
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Luke: Do you sometimes wonder if high school will ever come to an end?
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Friedman: (to Joan) I wouldn't worry. If you get into any trouble, Luke here will defend ya.
(He points to Luke)
Luke: (confused) What am I doing?
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Grace: You asked Ramsey to a dance?
Joan: (yelling) Luke!
(Luke, Friedman and Glynis all turn around to look at Joan)
Grace: What is up with that? Are you trying to kill Rove?
Joan: You didn't tell him, did you?
Joan: (to Grace) You didn't tell him, did you?
Grace: I don't need to. You asked Steve Ramsey to the semi-formal. That's like a CNN headline!
Glynis: (to Joan) You're going to the dance with Ramsey?
Friedman: That's desperate.
Joan: Okay, everbody just take a breath. Maybe I was just trying to do something nice.
Friedman: Good luck. That guy is seriously psycho!
Glynis: You're just saying that because he threw you in the trash.
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Friedman: (to Grace) So, uh, guess we won't be seeing you at the dance tomorrow night?
Grace: Says who?
(Luke looks a little uncomfortable. He gives Friedman a look of annoyance)
Friedman: It's an assumption based on the unlikely hypothesis of you wearing a dress.
Grace: Well, guess what, Galileo, your assumptions suck! And we'll see you at the dance! Now beat it before I give you a wedgie!
Friedman: (scoffs) You can't give me a wedgie!
(Grace stands up and starts to stare Friedman down. He runs away, seemingly terrified)
Luke: Are...we going to the Crystal Ball?
Grace: (hastily before running off) I must have got caught up in the testosterone.
Luke: (excitedly) Cool.
(He laughs slightly)
|
Friedman: (to Luke) So, Polk looks pretty hot under all that feminazi garb. Who knew, huh? Right? Heh.
Luke: (taken aback) Did you just say "feminazi?"
Friedman: Be straight with me, Girardi. You guys exchanging fluids?
Luke: (annoyed) Why am I friends with you?
Friedman: Well, it's the only explanation. Why else would you commit science fair suicide?
Luke: (sighs) What can I say? "The search for truth is more precious than its possessions."
Friedman: Okay, seriously, invest in Birkenstocks now because you're doomed to a life of lesbian worship.
|
(Grace has just kissed Luke)
Friedman: (to Glynis) Did he just convert her from Mac to PC?
|
Grace: I heard he has a private arsenal out in the woods where he shots squirrels and stuff
Joan: And you believe that?
Grace: Ask Rove. They used to hang out. Oh, wait! Rove will never speak to you again after this. Never mind.
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Ramsey: I can't do this.
Joan: Don't think of it as dancing - just pretend you're on fire or something.
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Joan: You're getting really good at showing up when no one needs you.
Old Lady (God): That's your opinion.
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Kevin: So I'm guessing no second date with you and this guy?
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Goth Kid (God): "Evil" is not a word to use lightly. It's only the darkest end of a broad spectrum.
Joan: You mean like...light?
Goth Kid (God): Exactly like light. Nobody's born in total darkness. Most of you live on the gray end of the spectrum...a lie here, and there. Jealousy. Wrath. But you only get to absolute evil by doing one thing after another until eventually you're transformed.
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Goth Kid (God): Almost everybody has some light, somewhere. And light is always worth fighting for.
|
Joan: So what do you want me to fail at this time?
Old Lady (God): Now what makes you think you failed? You did exactly what I asked you to do - you observed.
Joan: Hmm! And what good did that do anybody? Ramsey's going to jail, Adam hates me even more...
Old Lady (God): Observation is a more powerful force than you could possibly reckon. The invisible, the overlooked, and the unobserved are the most in danger of reaching the end of the spectrum. They lose the last of their light. From there, anything can happen.
Joan: (sighs) Okay. Fine, I observe Ramsey, his life is still ruined.
Old Lady (God): His life wasn't the only one at stake.
Joan: What do you mean?
Old Lady (God): There's Laura Eason, ninth grader. She plays the flute. She would have been one of the first to go (sound of gun firing) coming out of Orchestra at the wrong time. And Andrew Bayer - he would have tried to save his friend Lawrence DiStasi and lost his life (sound of gun firing). And Gavin Price (sound of gun firing), and three other students in the cafeteria. And Mr. Harvey. And Ms. Schmidt in the library. And finally, Steve Ramsey himself. And for each of these faces Joan, there are twelve more whose lives would have come to an end today - lives altered forever by you. By the simple effect of being present, by entering the light, by joining the dance.
(Joan wipes away a tear)
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Will: Apparently, Dennis Raleigh is still collecting his Chief of Police salary, in Jeanne's name. And it's better than mine, I might add.
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