Grace: (about ‘Robot Monster') This is totally inept, dude. It makes stupid look stupid.
Grace: (to Friedman about her and Luke dating) You know if you give us up you'll never be able to have kids.
Judith: I'll do your hair, and your makeup, and then I'll give you botox, and I'll do your boobs!
Joan: (referring to Judith) She didn't kill herself.
Adam: Some people do it all at once, some do it a little bit every day.
Grace: (while hugging Friedman and Luke) Okay, this just got weird.
Joan: What happened? Did you throw up on him?
Helen: No!...I...Well, my hair kind of caught on fire.
Joan: Well, I know that you are going to come inside, but, um...do you think maybe we could do the good-night kiss thing out here first?
Waiter: How would you like your steak prepared, monsieur?
Adam: Um...in a pan.
Grace: I'm going to have to start another woman's movement. The first one didn't take.
Judith: (to Adam) Dude, you are the shock and awe of cute.
Grace: What happened to your shoes?
Luke: They were made by kids in Central America. I burned them.
Luke: "Anarchists Unite". Isn't that contradictory?
Joan: All right, I'm going to ask you something, but you're not my mother, okay? You're just some random old lady.
Helen: I'm not...old.
Joan: Fine. Elderly.
Friedman: (to Luke and Grace) Just give it up. Hold hands or something.
Joan: I know you call the shots, but I need you right now. Okay? I really need you.
Nigerian Doctor (God): I'm here, Joan.
Joan: Why did you let this happen?
Judith: It's not his fault, Jo Jo.
Joan: You make sure that she's okay.
Judith: Jo Jo...
Joan: No, he can fix this.