Regine: For your information, we are having a beauty night.
Khadijah: It ain't working.
Khadijah: What's this guy's name? It sounds like a sandwich.
Regine: Now look at us: manless.
Synclaire: Excuse you. We have men.
Max: That's right. I got somebody that can look at these corns and still smile.
Regine: Things haven't been this bad since the drought of '89. And that was only because I was visiting friends in Alabama and refused to go out with anyone named Baby Brother, Butter or Boo-Key.
Scooter: (giving wig to Regine) 100 percent human hair from the Phillipines.
Regine: Oh, y'all. She used conditioner!
Scooter: Khadijah, I was wondering, could we go some place and talk?
Khadijah: We could go up on the roof.
Scooter: It's kind of cold up there, isn't it?
Khadijah: Well, I've got a feeling any place we talk is gonna be a little chilly.
Max: (to Khadijah) How can you just trust him like this? What happened to all of that lovely hatred you were developing for him?
Regine: (to Khadijah) The ring turned you, didn't it? Two carats can be very persuasive. Shoot, three carats and I'd marry dang near anybody!
Synclaire: Oh my God! You're pregnant. Okay. It's okay. And nobody needs to know but just us, okay? Woo-woo-woo. Woo-woo-woo.
Khadijah: Bless you, Synclaire. Now the townspeople won't stone me.
Max: I'll be there. I'll be hugging a champagne bottle, but I'll be there.
Hyman: It's nice to see young people having relationships and getting married. It's good for business. In the '70s, all those one-night stands. People shacking up. Nobody bought a wedding ring! All I sold was the occasional medallion.
Overton: Max, what's the legal angle on this dispute between Roadrunner and the coyote?
Max analyzes the Looney Tunes cartoon characters Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote.
Max: Let's just say the last time Regine had a date, Hugh Grant didn't have to buy his!
A reference to actor Hugh Grant's arrest for soliciting a prostitute in June 1995.