First aired: Dec/23/1983
Director: Cliff Bole
Guest star: Ava Cadell (Althea Nicopolas / Miss Athens),
JuLee Erdahl (Bikini Girl),
Evelyn Guerrero (Inez Townsend),
Melvin Ahaitty (Indian Singer),
Jeri Gaile (Contestant),
Joan Chen (Miss Taipei),
Ruby Diaz (Charlie Chusgah),
Paul Picerni (Friend),
Carmen Zapata (Mary Begay),
Kathleen White (Contestant),
Judson Scott (Alan Garvey a.k.a. "Andre"),
Judy Amber (Kelly Alexander / Miss Glasgow),
Carol Meade (Miss Los Angeles),
Marie Laurin (Michelle Cairo / Miss Bordeaux),
Stephen Shortridge (Scott Townsend),
Allan Oliney (Punk),
Mark Schneider (Detective John Marlowe),
Suzanne Regard (Miss Oslo),
Casey Kasem (Master of Ceremonies),
Dee Kaye (Contestant),
Don Jerrard (Nicholas Papas),
Toni Nero (Maria Delgato / Miss Mexico City),
Dona Speir (Fran Mueller / Miss Berlin),
Macarena Camacho (Contestant),
Elaine Hobson (Bikini Girl),
Zelda Rubinstein (Flower Girl),
Cis Rundle (Chris),
Paul Tuerpé (Doctor)