Episode Quotes
Cpl. Daggott: They gonna hang him, Sarge?
Bret: Please, Willie, I'm a civilian. This is strictly a case of mistaken identity.
Sgt. Baines: Sure it was. You mistook a colonel's wife for a gay young thing.
Bret: Baines, it was just someone who looked like me.
Cpl. Daggott: Oh, I ain't worried about myself. I just wouldn't want anything to happen to our prisoner.
Bret: I'm not your prisoner, Willie. You're just escorting me.
Bret: On second thought, Sergeant, I decided to put off facing that board of inquiry.
Sgt. Baines: Oh, Willie, don't you worry,. There's nothin' in this world that I'd do to keep you in this army one day longer than need be.
Sgt. Baines: Now why don't you stick around, Mr. Maverick, and be my prisoner?
Cpl. Daggott: Hey, what happened? Who shot the Indians? Where'd the music come from?
Bret: Ghosts, Corporal. Ghosts and evil spirits.
Bret: Besides, this whitewash is hard on my delicate complexion.
Bret: Whadda you think?
Sgt. Baines: I think one of then Indians caught himself a ghost. Now Halloween's almost over, Maverick.
Bret: (to Baines) Another day, another dollar.
Sgt. Baines: Well, I asked for this life. All in all, I suppose I'm better off and happier than I would have been in the New Jersey fish market. Ever been to New Jersey, Maverick? On the waterfront, I mean?
Bret: Nope, never have.
Sgt. Baines: You'd have joined the Army too. The Army's full of folks from the Jersey waterfront. Just something about that place.
Baines: (about Lt. Jennings) He's kinda young.
Bret: Yeah.
Bret: (about Lt. Jennings) He doesn't understand English.
Sgt. Baines: Well, he's an Army officer.
Bret: (to Lt. Jennings) I don't have to threaten you, sonny. Those hills are full of Indians and they're threatening you. And me and everybody else in the fort. Now, normally I don't like to fight. I try to go through life without fighting. But if that life is about to end, and I don't want it to end, then I'm willing to fight so I can go on living without having to fight. Do you follow that?
Running Horse: Let us now make sport with these men who pretend to be ghosts.
Sgt. Baines: Um-hmm. Seeing what a tricky man you are, Mr. Maverick, why, you just might get away from me.
Bret: Oh, Baines, I wouldn't think of such a thing.
Sgt. Baines: Oh, I know you wouldn't think about it, Mr. Maverick. Just comes sorta naturally.
Bret: I was right glad the lieutenant was gonna let it go at a mere handshake. I mean, if I was to get a medal out of this ruckus, my pappy'd never speak to me again.