Episode Quotes
Pappyism #1: In the midst of life, we are in jail.
Pappyism #2: Never debate the innocence of a drinking woman or a man in jail.
Sheriff: Nobody's accused you a cheatin', Maverick.
Brent: Then why are you running me outta town?
Sheriff: Frankly, your mistake was takin' the whole town council to the cleaners. Punishment for that's the first stage outta town.
Brent: Where you bound?
Bart: Abilene. Trail herds are comin' in this time of year and lots of well-heeled cowboys on the loose. I figure to keep them from wastin' their wages on women and wine.
Brent: Sounds like the promised land. (takes out some cards) Perhaps a little conditioning en route to wile away the dusty miles?
Brent: I'm diggin' your grave, friend with five little spades.
Sheriff Shadley: It's your own grave you've dug, mister. Gamblin's forbidden here in Sunburst. It's the law.
Brent: But Sheriff, legally we're not in Sunburst. Stagecoach is a public area, and friends and I are just passing through.
Sheriff Shadley: Is that right, gents?
Bart: Uh, yes, Sheriff.
Sheriff Shadley: Who owns them cards?
Bart: Uh, this gentleman. (points to Brent)
Brent: You snake.
Joanne Moss: You see, Sunburst is the one untarnished town in the west. Gamblers, gunfighters, dancing girls, are taboo.
Brent: What do the people do for fun and games in Forbidden City?
Joanne Moss: They don't. Our one saloon closes at six o'clock.
Brent: Say no more. You better wall me up, Sheriff, before I contaminate the population.
Brent: You spent 20 years in a clink? For what?
Pedro Rubio: For a murder I did not commit, señor. I just got out.
Brent: And you needed a place to sleep.
Pedro Rubio: No, señor, I needed protection.
Brent: Oh, dodging lead. You're a smart hombre to head for the sacred city of Sunburst. You won't find any shootin' gallery in this amusement park.
Pedro Rubio: Sacred city, poo! This Sunburst is a stage stop to Hell.
Brent: What? Why, they're so pure here that they sow wild oats and get Easter lilies.
Pedro Rubio: The bride with the bad conscience, señor, wears the whitest veil.
Brent: Tell me, Sheriff, what's this scoundrel guilty of? Dancing with his wife after dark?
Sheriff Shadley: Property damage, disturbing the peace, public nuisance. He, uh, picked up a rock, and with willful intent, broke a window.
Brent: What does he get for that? Life?
Sheriff Shadley: Gambler, being dog catcher around here, as well as sheriff, I'm liable to fit you for a muzzle.
Andalucia Rubio: You are running away? Are you a coward, señor?
Brent: Now listen, I've been tipped off there's lynch talk in town. Folks think I was mixed up in that.
Andalucia Rubio: Well our mayor would never allow it. He is a brave man. He would die first.
Brent: The order of our deaths doesn't interest me.
Brent: Lucia, I'd like to help you, but in coming to me, you're only bailing your boat with a sieve. Look, I'm a gambler in a plaster saint town with a record.
Brent: Lucy, there's just one law that a man must never break. That's the law of self-preservation. So I'm gonna break it
Brent: A woman's tears, the holy water. Killed more men than whiskey.
Brent: But you remember that with men like the Mayor and Feifer, it's a stiff rope and a short drop.
Bart: I hate to be a bunch quitter, gentlemen, but I've got to get back to Sunburst. See, a kin of mine is …
Gambler: Shut up and deal.
Brent: Would you kiss me?
Joanne Moss: Mr. Maverick, I'd quite like to, I think. But I don't know how.
Brent: You don't know how?
Joanne: You see, kissing's forbidden in Sunburst before the bands are published. And being the Mayor's niece, well, I might as well have the mumps.
Brent: A lovely girl like you. It's inhuman.
Joanne: Worse. You know my poor dear Aunt Nettie? She's never been kissed, pinched, cuddled, or… or gently outraged in any way. She's nervous as a witch, and I'll probably wind up much like her.
Brent: Joanne, I'm a convicted gambler. I'll probably be hanged for murder. I might just as well commit one last crime.
Brent: It's all clear, Lucy, you can come out.
Andalucia Rubio: I cannot, I have torn my nightgown.
Brent: Well, you can't stay in there all night, you'll freeze.
Andalucia Rubio: In Sunburst, it is legal to freeze, señor, but not to accompany a man in half your nightgown.
Brent: Well, I haven't got time to argue. I've got a little surprise planned for those characters. The last thing they expect to see is me. It'll give me a chance to sneak around and take 'em from behind.
Andalucia Rubio: Go with God, señor - and bring me back the shirt and pants.
Dave Taylor: Maverick?
Brent: Just a brand for the burning.
Dave Taylor: How'd you get outta that shack?
Brent: Well, it seems here in Sunburst that a gambler's kin to the Devil. I've been fireproofed.
Taylor: (to Brent) Gambler, you just don't seem to draw any aces in this town.
Bart: With the lid off this town, I feel it's our duty to teach its citizens the intricacies of poker.
Brent: Well, good hunting, Bart.