Holliday: One thing to be said about bad jokes--they drive me to drink.
Bart: Pappy always said I'd wind up owning a bank. Or was that robbing a bank?
Penelope: If there's anything I can do to help you get settled just have your wife call me.
Bart: Well I will as soon as I find a wife.
Holliday: Have you ever heard the Wedding March, Bart?
Bart: Many times but always from a safe distance.
Bart: (to Holliday) I don't want any part of your get rich quick schemes.
Holliday: (to Bart) There's nothing worse than a reformed bum.
Holliday: (to Doc) I told you so. You can't do business with an honest man.
Bart: I'm open for suggestions.
Holliday: Do they have to be honest?
Bart: How could you do it, Doc?
Holliday: To save your hide, chum.
Bart: For what--a rope?