Harry: Who are you?
Kim: Kimberly. Kimberly Daniels. My friends call me Kim.
Harry: (shaking hands) Harry. Harry Stone. My friends call me "Shecky." I gotta get new friends.

Christine: They've only known each other four days. Don't they ever separate?
Dan: Are you kidding? They've done everything except sew their bodies together. (Harry and Kim roller skate into the courtroom together) I was wrong. They've sewn their bodies together.

Kim: I swear, I just had one of the most incredible experiences of my life!
Dan: (grinning) A little nooner at the Hung Jury Motel, huh?
Christine: (annoyed) Oh, Dan.
Harry: I believe the lady was referring to our buggy ride in Central Park.
Christine: (to Dan) Some people have class.
Harry: It was a baby buggy!
Kim: We both squeezed in. Harry brought the champagne, and then....
Harry and Kim: Koochie-koochie-koochie-koochie koo!
Dan: (to Christine) Everybody's kinky. Except you.

Dan: (on phone) All right, all right, let's lay the cards on the table. What can I get for $19.95? (looks at Flo) What's a Smurf?
Flo: Imagine your cat threw up a fur ball that talked.

Bull: Sir, there's a sleazy reporter on his way in here!
Harry: How sleazy?
Bull: He drives a convertible hearse.

Harry: Last year, one of us chose to come as a member of the Moral Majority.

The Moral Majority was a conservative Christian political action group founded in the late 1970's by televangelist Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Harry: Am I on Bloopers? Ed? Dick?

A reference to TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes, which was co-hosted by Ed McMahon and Dick Clark.

Harry: She just said she's a...
Christine: A witch.
Harry: Well, are you sure she isn't? Did anybody dump a bucket of water on her, see if she'd melt?

The Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz melted when Dorothy threw a bucket of water on her.

Dan: (on phone) No, no, I need the costume tonight. Yes, yes, something tasteful, conservative. Say, the Roman Emperor Caligula.

Caligula (CE 12-41), also called Gaius, was the third Roman emperor and the first to be assassinated.

Christine: Come on, Myer, I'll take you to men's detention. There's a guy down there who thinks he's Joan Crawford.
Myer: No kidding.
Bull: Don't mention the book. He's still bitter.

"The book" is Mommie Dearest, written in 1978 by Christina Crawford, that painted her mother, legendary actress Joan Crawford, in an unfavorable light.

Flo: You played hockey before the mandatory helmet rule, didn't you?

Helmets became mandatory in the NHL in 1979.