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Oliver Beene Episode Guide

1 :01x01 - A Day at the Beach

First aired: Mar/09/2003
Director: Michael Spiller
Guest star: Danica Stewart (Margie), Lance Ohnstad (Relay Starter), Tracy Allen Davey (Billy Gates), Matthew Tait (Wobbley), Dominic Scott Kay (Young Oliver), Brendan Hill (Unknown), Tim Herzog (Unknown), Jesse Heiman (Wrestler), Bradon Hill (Billy), Justin Koznar (Martha's Swim Partner #2), Tricia Nickell (Sharon), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie Smith), John D'Aquino (Bernard Vogel), Heidi Swedberg (Cynthia Vogel), Wendie Malick (Mrs. Darcel), Katherine Ann McGregor (Martha), Martha Smith (Martha's Swim Partner #1)

Oliver's parents try to join a beach club, which is fine with Oliver, because Bonnie, a talented swimmer who Oliver has a crush on goes there. Oliver tries to impress her, but unfortunately, he doesn't know how to swim.



2 :01x02 - Home, a Loan

First aired: Mar/16/2003
Writer: Bill Callahan, Philip Wen
Director: Jeff Melman
Guest star: Cameron Zeidler (Mitch), Will Klipstine (Delivery Guy), Ross Gottstein (Doctor), Meghan Lynch (Janet), Taylor Emerson (Michael), Simon Harvey (Adult Michael), Kurt Fuller (Mitch), Michael McShane (Earl), A. J. Trauth (Harvey Dillman)

Oliver's parents go visit a old college friend, whom he hasn't seen in ages, leaving Oliver and Ted alone at home for the first time.



3 :01x03 - Space Race

First aired: Mar/30/2003
Writer: Steven Levitan
Director: Michael Spiller
Guest star: Perry Anzilotti (Principal Shriner), Frank Crim (Rumor Monger #1), Deborah Carson (Rumour Monger), Lynn Tufeld (Unknown), Jessica Reynolds (Whitney), Ardyce Jones (Unknown), Karen V. James (Neighbor), Paul Schackman (Mr. Plotkin), Daniel Hansen (Unknown), Amy Bruckner (Susan Brotsky), Tenaya Cleveland (Happy Class Teacher), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie Smith), Jeffrey Noah (Kid), Judith Scott (Maxine), Robert Bailey, Jr. (Floyd), Jeffrey D. Sams (Terrence)

When jumping the legendary Great North Wall at school, Oliver injures a black student, making it appear that he's racist.



4 :01x04 - The Nudie Mag

First aired: Apr/06/2003
Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Jeff Melman
Guest star: Lisa Waltz (Michael's Mother), Malia Mathis (Jerry's Assistant), Adrienne Janic (Suzy), Patrick Gallo (Lou), Vincent Di Paolo (Bad Haircut Guy), Randall Bosley (Middle Aged Man), Greg Wrangler (Michael's Father)

After destroying Michael's father's nudie magazine, Oliver and Michael go out of their way to replace it. Meanwhile, Ted falls in love with a model in one of those magazines.



5 :01x05 - Lord of the Bees

First aired: Apr/13/2003
Writer: Chris Harris
Director: Matt Shakman
Guest star: Antoinette Spolar (Mrs. Brotsky), Symba Smith (Hot Mom), Paul Schackman (Mr. Plotkin), Graham Murdoch (Bully), Robyn Moran (Adult Susan), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie), Wayne Federman (Teacher), Steffani Brass (Bee Girl), Perry Anzilotti (Principal Shriner), Amy Bruckner (Susan Brotsky)

Oliver cheats his way into the Geography Bee as a way to finally beat Susan Brotsky, but after confessing to his teacher, his teacher allows him into the competition, because he also wants Oliver to beat Susan.



6 :01x06 - Dancing Beene

First aired: Apr/20/2003
Writer: Craig Thomas, Carter Bays
Director: Jeff Melman
Guest star: Jeremy Kramer (Marv Kranski), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie), Jon Polito (Mr. Rayfield), Victor Raider-Wexler (Super), Dominic Scott Kay (Young Oliver), Susan Chuang (Ying-Mei Kranski), Marcia Ann Burrs (Old Woman), Loren Berman (Kid), Whitney Anderson (Grace), David Shatraw (Mr Rescigno)

Oliver takes ballroom dancing classes because he wants to be like the dancer Fred Astaire, but when he realizes he has two left feet. Charlotte and Jerry compete in a series of charades with another married couple.



7 :01x07 - Divorce-O-Rama

First aired: Apr/27/2003
Writer: Jace Richdale
Director: Jeff Melman
Guest star: A. J. Trauth (Harvey), Shawn Pyfrom (Bill), Jonathan Nichols (Herb Meyer), John Maynard (Mr. Tinkles the Clown), Jeremy Kramer (Marv Kranski), Pat Finn (Security Guard), Stephen Tobolowsky (Ringmaster Bob)

After finding out that Joyce's parents are getting divorced, Oliver fears the same fate for his own parents and when Jerry accuses Charlotte of adultery, this just reassures Oliver.



8 :01x08 - Oliver's Best Friend

First aired: May/04/2003
Writer: Jim Bernstein, Michael Shipley
Director: Lev L. Spiro
Guest star: Nick Nordella (Connor Larsen), J. D. Lewis (Josh), Sean Everett (Clown), Michael Edwin (Man with Car), Brady Corbet (Spencer), Jackson Bolt (Mugger 1)

Oliver begs his parents to get him a dog, but after finding the dog is too much to handle, he tries to give him up. Ted feels insecure after a girl turns him down.



9 :02x01 - Dibs

First aired: Feb/04/2004
Writer: Howard Gewirtz, Steven Levitan
Director: Lev L. Spiro
Guest star: Robin Sydney (Daughter Novogroder), Chelsea Smith (Neighbor Girl), Adam Shapiro (Stoner Guy), Brandon Routh (Brian), Maggie Grace (Elke)

Ted calls dibs on the new Swedish foreign-exchange student named Elke, but Oliver tries to find a way around the rules of dibs. Jerry and Charlotte go to an old club they used to hangout as teenagers, but are shocked to find out that it's turned into a marijuana-invested nightclub.



10 :02x02 - Soup to Nuts

First aired: Feb/08/2004
Writer: Chris Harris
Director: Lev L. Spiro
Guest star: Katelin Petersen (Loogie (as Katelin Peterson)), Sammy Kahn (Nickname), Sam Lerner (The Kid), Eddie Hassell (Full Moon Murphy), Alexander Gould (Young Ted), Marsha Clark (Mrs. Perkins), Alan Charof (Uncle Bernie), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie Smith), Mitchel Musso (One Nad)

A horrible rumor about Oliver circulates the school after he spilled soup all over himself. Ted must play the piano at Jerry's Aunt's funeral.



11 :02x03 - Daughter for a Day

First aired: Feb/14/2004
Writer: Howard Gewirtz, Michael Shipley, Jim Bernstein
Director: Lev L. Spiro
Guest star: Willy Goldstein (Young Oliver), Palmer Scott (Big Al), Maggie Grace (Elke), Charnele Brown (Unknown)

Charlotte feels lonely when Oliver goes to work with his dad, so she asks Oliver's friend Joyce if she wants to be her "daughter" for a day. Oliver learns that his fathers dentist job isn't all that it is cracked-up to be.



12 :02x04 - X-Ray Specs

First aired: Feb/22/2004
Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Michael Spiller
Guest star: Elaine Hendrix (Aunt Connie), Tammy Brooks (Jerry's Neighbor's Wife), Steven Alford (Jerry's Neighbor), Jim Lau (Chinese Assistant), Todd Sherry (Victor), Richard Kind (Barnaby Rollins)

Oliver tries to get revenge on a comic-book company, after ordering a pair of x-ray specs, which turned out to be a scam.
Jerry and Charlotte gets tickets to see John F. Kennedy.



13 :02x05 - Ward Have Mercy

First aired: Mar/07/2004
Writer: David M. Stern
Director: Matt Shakman
Guest star: Evan Mann (Unknown), Matthew Richards (Unknown), Jim Blanchette (Unknown), Romy Rosemont (Unknown), Victor Raider-Wexler (Unknown), Ethan Phillips (Mr. Stitt), Kevin G. Schmidt (Murray Wilcox), Josh Waters (Ward), John Lehr (J.D. Salinger)

Oliver tries to make amends with the school bully by allowing him to date Joyce. The president of the tenants' association asks Charlotte to remove a door knocker that Olive made in school, but Charlotte decides to get back by running against him in the upcoming tenants' association election.



14 :02x06 - Disposa Boy

First aired: Mar/14/2004
Writer: Kristofor Brown
Director: Brent Carpenter
Guest star: Paul Schackman (Mr. Plotkin), Bud Sabatino (Man), Nick Pavonetti (Shirtless Redneck), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie Smith), Patrick MacManus (Brian), Dominic Scott Kay (Young Oliver), Amy Bruckner (Susan Brotsky)

Jerry invents "The Disposa Toothbrush", but finds out nobody wants his invention. Oliver finds out that his grades were low only because his old teacher was punishing him.



15 :02x07 - Idol Chatter

First aired: Jun/06/2004
Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Matt Shakman
Guest star: Ian Stanley (Mickey Mantle), Bashir Salahuddin (Bouncer), Maggie Grace (Elke), Julie Benz (Cigarette Girl)

Once again out-shined by his neighbor's party, Jerry plans to get a celebrity to perform at his upcoming bash, and Oliver, along with Ted, suggests he gets Buddy Fontaine. After discussing the idea with Buddy, Oliver finds out he doesn't plan on showing up. With the party so close, Oliver and Ted must find someone better, and fast, before their dad makes a fool of himself.



16 :02x08 - Oliver and the Otters

First aired: Jun/13/2004
Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Michael Spiller
Guest star: Anthony Ghannam (Punch Face), Jarred Endres (Bruno Steel), Jack Salvatore, Jr. (Pat - Guitarist), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie), Eric Lange (Doctor), Cameron Kush (Unknown), Kasha Kropinski (Unknown), Maggie Grace (Elke), Willy Goldstein (Young Oliver), Soren Fulton (Howie), David Carey Foster (Salesman), Patrick Dorn (Littlest Quartet Member), Cameron Bowen (Leader Of Quartet)

Oliver develops a crush on Joyce, so he decides to form a band in order to impress her. Jerry has Charlotte fill in at his dentist office, after his assistant is injured.



17 :02x09 - Kissing Babies

First aired: Jun/20/2004
Writer: Michael Shipley, Jim Bernstein
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Guest star: Beth Hall (Skittish Female Tenant), Tony Rossi (Neighbor), Billy Gooch (Creepy Neighbor), Helen Slayton-Hughes (Mrs. Carroll), Jane Edith Wilson (Neighbor), Alex Boling (Weiner-rama Guy), Christopher Plumley (Projector Kid), Karen V. James (Little Girl's Mother), Rob McCarthy (Mr. Reynolds), Amanda Michalka (Bonnie Smith), Ethan Phillips (Mr. Stitt), Steven Alford (Jerry's Neighbor), Randall Barnwell (Mr. Borasco)

When Oliver gets invited to his first "make-out" party, Ted gives him advice on what to do. Meanwhile, Charlotte tries to run for President of the Tenants Association.



18 :02x10 - Girly Dad

First aired: Jun/27/2004
Writer: Jace Richdale
Director: Marcos Siega
Guest star: Scott L. Schwartz (Massage Therapist), Michael Bailey Smith (Mauler Madson), Dan Gauthier (Stan), Pat Battistini (Hobo), Curtis Armstrong (Hobo Bob), Norm MacDonald (Hobo Bob)

Ted tries to toughen up his dad after he finds out he throws like a girl.



19 :02x11 - Superhero

First aired: Aug/04/2004
Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Fred Savage
Guest star: Regan Burns (School Photographer), Sam Horrigan (Coach Wright), Maggie Grace (Elke), Perry Anzilotti (Principal Shriner), Howard Hesseman (Dr. Fenniger), Conor Duffy (Salesmen)

It's picture day, and Oliver decides to wear a super-hero costume in protest, because he can never take good pictures. Principal Shriner gets upset, and gives him the choice of expulsion, or see a psychiatrist. Meanwhile, Ted tries to stop Elke on going on a second date with his baseball coach.



20 :02x12 - Fallout

First aired: Aug/15/2004
Writer: Howard Gewirtz
Director: Jeff Melman
Guest star: Dominic Scott Kay (Young Oliver), Simon Harvey (Adult Michael), Amy Castle (Bonnie), Amy Bruckner (Susan Brotsky)

In order to get the kids at school to like him, Oliver tries out for the school talent show. Meanwhile, Charlotte doesn't like her anniversary present from Jerry - a fallout shelter.



21 :02x13 - Catskills

First aired: Aug/22/2004
Writer: Michael Shipley, Jim Bernstein
Director: Michael Spiller
Guest star: Tom McGowan (Bob "Simon Says" Brooks), Maggie Grace (Elke), Michelle Shore (The Kid), Jonathan Chase (Chad)

Charlotte takes the family on a vacation to the Catskill Mountains in order to spend more time with them, but the rest of the family aren't too thrilled about it.



22 :02x14 - A Trip to Coney Island

First aired: Aug/29/2004
Writer: Carter Bays, Craig Thomas
Director: Jeff Melman
Guest star: Todd Bosley (Glen), Shane Haboucha (Lackey #1), Louis Lombardi (George Novogroder), Tracy Pfau (Mrs. Novogroder)

After taking a trip to Coney Island with his family, Jerry fights with his neighbor over a parking space, causing a big feud. Meanwhile, Oliver gets a job as a paper boy, and learns that it is harder than it looks.



23 :02x15 - Babysitting

First aired: Sep/12/2004
Guest star: Meghan Lynch (Janet), Heidi Kaufman (Mrs. Lacey), Susan Chuang (Ying-mei Kranski), Maggie Grace (Elke), Jeremy Kramer (Marv Kransky), Helen Slayton-Hughes (Mrs. Carroll), Carter Jenkins (Boy), Cole Petersen (Bobby)

Joyce convinces Oliver to babysit for her, but when Oliver continues to babysit on his own, it appears he has taken all of her business away.



24 :02x16 - The King & I

First aired: Unaired
Writer: Stephen Lloyd
Director: Fred Savage

The owner of the local sports store wants Ted to date his daughter. Ted is hesitant, but after being offered whatever he wants in the store, Ted decides to go on a date with her.