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Sledge Hammer!: If I Had a Little Hammer
A hospital is broken into and all of the babies in the ward are stolen! Although unwilling, Trunk puts Hammer and Doreau on the case.
| 7/10 (1 Vote cast) |
Episode Info
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Episode number: 1x10 Production Number: 109 Airdate: Saturday November 29th, 1986 |
Main Cast
Recap
A van marked Ridel Baby Supplies pulls up to a hospital delivery dock. The driver gets out and goes to the nursery. Meanwhile, head nurse Robbins tells the desk nurse to make her rounds. She goes to the nursery and finds all the babies missing...Read the full recap
Episode Quotes
Hammer: I haven't seen so many unhappy faces since my wedding reception.
Hammer: This is a precinct, not an encounter group. If a man and a woman have problems, they should settle them the way my wife and I did, with a divorce.
Trunk: Hammer, have you no compassion for what those people are going through?
Hammer: Of course I do. I have suffered a sense of loss just like everyone else. I lost my luggage once. I was torn up about it for weeks.
Hammer: Of course I do. I have suffered a sense of loss just like everyone else. I lost my luggage once. I was torn up about it for weeks.
Doreau: Captain, who could be behind such a despicable crime?
Trunk: Obviously a baby-selling ring, Doreau. Kind of back-alley racketeers who steal babies and sells them to childless couples for exorbitant sums.
Hammer: Kind of a mom-and-pop operation, huh?
Trunk: Obviously a baby-selling ring, Doreau. Kind of back-alley racketeers who steal babies and sells them to childless couples for exorbitant sums.
Hammer: Kind of a mom-and-pop operation, huh?
Doreau: Captain, I request that Hammer and I be assigned this case.
Hammer: No wait, no whoa, no huh, no way, I don't do this. I'm in Homicide, I deal in scum-suckers, not thumb-suckers.
Hammer: No wait, no whoa, no huh, no way, I don't do this. I'm in Homicide, I deal in scum-suckers, not thumb-suckers.
Trunk: Hammer, I have great trepidation about putting you on this case. The thought of you coming within five miles of a baby scare the hell out of me.
Hammer: Me too.
Hammer: Me too.
Doreau: What was your baby's name?
Mrs. Yates: Well, we were just about to find a name and then... he was stolen.
Hammer: How about "Rob"? I'm sorry, I don't know where my head's at.
Mrs. Yates: Well, we were just about to find a name and then... he was stolen.
Hammer: How about "Rob"? I'm sorry, I don't know where my head's at.
Hammer: Wait, one last question. Did your child have any enemies?
Doreau: Hammer! It's a newborn baby. Newborn babies don't have enemies.
Hammer: I did.
Doreau: Hammer! It's a newborn baby. Newborn babies don't have enemies.
Hammer: I did.
Hammer: Doreau, what are you doing? Cops can't go around making promises they can't keep. That right is reserved for the President.
Doreau: I always assumed you were the one who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant.
Hammer: Are you kidding? I encourage women to wear shoes.
Hammer: Are you kidding? I encourage women to wear shoes.
Hammer: And I strongly urge you parents to discipline this child starting today. Constant spankings are the reason I turned out all right.
Hammer: What are you doing? Sleeping on the job is for air traffic controllers, not cops.
Receptionist: Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Hammer. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with Mrs. Calder.
Hammer: Why is that?
Receptionist: I was listening in.
Hammer: Why is that?
Receptionist: I was listening in.
(to Doreau)
Hammer: I can't believe I'm letting a common slimeball into my apartment. Bad enough that you're here.
Hammer: I can't believe I'm letting a common slimeball into my apartment. Bad enough that you're here.
Hammer: Nurse Robbins. I knew you were behind this.
Robbins: When did you figure it out?
Hammer: When you walked in just now.
Robbins: When did you figure it out?
Hammer: When you walked in just now.
Cultural References
Title parodies the 1949 song If I Had a Hammer by Pete Seeger and Lee Hays.
Other Episode Crew
| • Creator | Alan Spencer |
| • Executive Producer | William P. D'Angelo |
| • Producer | Alan Spencer |
| • Co-Producer | Robert Birnbaum |
| • Associate Producer | Byron Chudnow |
| • Production Designer | Alex Hajdu |
| • Editor | Peter White (4) |
| • Casting | Barbara Hanley | Cathy Henderson |
| • Unit Production Manager | Robert Birnbaum |
| • First Assistant Director | Mary Ellen Canniff |
| • Second Assistant Director | Glen Sanford |
| • Costume Designer | Nancy Fox |
| • Hairstylist | Jay Wellington |
| • Make-up | June Brickman |
| • Key Grip | Dylan Shephard |
| • Camera Operator | Jack Lester |
| • Location Manager | Michael Casey (1) |
| • Transportation Coordinator | Rick Rollison |
| • Property Master | Tommy Estridge |
| • Script Supervisor | Patricia Depew |
| • Production Coordinator | Nancy Rosing |
| • Gaffer | Walter Stewart (2) |
| • Other | Betty Martin Mallin (Production Controller) |
| • Director of Photography | Norman Leigh |
| • Story Editor | Jim Fisher (1) | Jim Staahl | Tino Insana | Al Jean | Mert Rich | Brian Pollack | Mike Reiss |
| • Stunt Coordinator | Ed Ulrich |
| • Art Director | Gregory Melton |
| • Creative Consultant | Leonard Stern |
| • Sound Editor | Tom Koester |
| • Special Effects | Chuck Dolan |
| • Main Title Theme | Danny Elfman |
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