Miss of the Spider Woman - Recap

At the harbor on a tramp freighter, Juanita is extracting venom from her pet cobra and tells her henchman Gomez to hire someone reliable to give the poison to her target. Once the target is dying, he’ll come back to her to beg for the antidote.



Hammer tries to get Doreau to go to the gun show with him, but she already has tickets for the opera. He tries to give the tickets to Trunk and spots a doughnut. Sledge eats it, unaware that it has the fingerprints of a serial killer on it. Trunk is less than amused. He goes home that night with some groceries and finds that an attractive blonde has entered his apartment. She claims that the door was unlocked, her car broke down, and she needs to use the phone. He’s skeptical but eventually agrees to let her use the phone. As soon as his back is turned, she pours the venom into Hammer’s milk. He drinks it and starts to collapse. He grabs at her wrist and sees a tattoo of a turtle before passing out.



The next morning, Hammer staggers into the station and collapses. Dr. Warneke informs Hammer and his friends that the inspector is going to die and the venom is lethal after five days. Unfortunately, Hammer has been unconscious for four and a half days. Warneke notes that an isolated tribe of monks in the Andes has the antidote but it will take precious time to contact them.

With time running out, Doreau and Hammer try to compile a list of everyone who hates Hammer. The list is too large and Doreau gives up. Hammer believes the tattoo is a key and spots a female police officer with the same tattoo. She explains that she’s a member of the Turtle wrestling team and all of them wear the tattoo. Doreau and Hammer give her a description of Cindy and the officer IDs her as one of the wrestlers. They go to the bar where Cindy and the other Turtles are wrestling. When they won’t break it up, first Hammer and then Doreau have to go into the ring to stop them. They interrogate Cindy, who sys she was told the venom was simply knockout drugs. She was supposed to deliver the knockout drugs to Apartment #12, but because she’s near-sighted she ended up in Apartment #13: Hammer’s.



Hammer and Doreau go back to Hammer’s apartment to talk to the resident of Apartment #12, only to find him mortally wounded and his apartment trashed. Meanwhile, Gomez reports to Juanita and informs her that he couldn’t find the statue. Juanita is not amused.

Hammer and Doreau call in help for the wounded man, Alejandro. The building landlady, Mrs. Hotchkiss, comes in and tells Hammer that a man wearing a stocking mask stole her passkey. Hammer thanks Doreau (much to Doreau’s astonishment) and takes Hotchkiss downtown to go through mug shots. Once he’s gone, Doreau intercepts a delivery man bringing a package for Alejandro and takes it to HQ. Gomez, watching from across the street, tails her.



Hotchkiss is unable to identify any mug shots but Hammer tells her to take off her stocking and put it over the photos. While she goes through the mug shot book, Doreau arrives with the package, which Alejandro insured and mailed to himself. An angry Hammer smashes the statue open, and finds a stolen diamond inside. Hotchkiss identifies Gomez as the break-in artist who served with the Navy. As they head for the waterfront, they spot Gomez inside the building and Hammer interrogates him, forcing him to reveal that Alejandro was Juanita’s lover and stole the diamond.

Following Gomez’s directions, Hammer and Doreau go to the freighter. While Doreau subdues a guard and keeps him prisoner, Hammer confronts Juanita. He trips on the beaded curtain and she’s ready for him. He asks for the antidote in return for the diamond. They make the trade and Hammer drinks the antidote, then explains that the diamond is a fake. Juanita counters by saying that the antidote is actually more poison. She throws her snake at him and escapes, while the snake throttles Hammer. Doreau manages to weaken it enough for Hammer to punch it out. Trunk comes in with a captive Juanita… and the antidote. The doctor got the antidote from the monks just in time. Hammer drinks the antidote and is back to normal. Too normal, as Trunk finds out later when Hammer eats yet another doughnut with key fingerprints evidence on it.



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