Doreau: So what were you up to last night?
Hammer: Oh, some slimeballs held a meeting to protest police brutality.
Doreau: Oh yeah? What happened.
Hammer: I broke it up with clubs and tear gas.

Doreau: In London the cops don't carry guns and criminals don't carry a gun. And London is a very safe city to live in.
Hammer: Yeah. Especially if you're a crook, and you've got a gun.

Doreau: I don't believe this. It's 9 a.m. and already we've had an armored car hold-up, three prisoners, and a car crash.
Hammer: Yeah, it's always slow just after Christmas.

Trunk: Hammer, what's the matter with you? What are you afraid of? Haven't you ever been analyzed?
Hammer: Not by anybody who lived.

Hammer: Excessive force, what excessive force?
Trunk: What excessive force? What about the time you broke up that phony casino with a torpedo?
Hammer: Ah. You should have seen that. Everywhere you looked, fish and chips.

Dr. Weisbart: You don't like psychiatrists, do you, Hammer?
Hammer: The last guy to point a finger at me ended up limping through the Yellow Pages.
Dr. Weisbart: Hammer, we must start out by trusting one another.
Hammer: Trust you? You sound like a Nazi.
Dr. Weisbart: Well, thank you very much, but enough about me. Why don't you just make yourself comfortable? Uh, perhaps you want to take off your gun?
Hammer: I never take off my gun.
Dr. Weisbart: Now, surely you must take it off sometime. I mean, you wouldn't sleep with your gun.
Hammer: Says who?

Hammer: I'm just a typical cop.
Trunk: Typ... typical cop? If that were true, then all you'd hear is gunfire all day long, and the streets would be lined with funeral processions.
Hammer: Don't try to cheer me up.

Hammer: This whole thing has just complete sapped my self-confidence. I'm not a man any more. I'm indecisive. Well, actually, I don't know, maybe I'm not. No, I, I... am.

Fredricks: A day without Hammer is like a day without darkness.

Fredricks: Now, we're going to melt all this down, pour it into molds, and then ship it out as a hundred thousand statues of Hugh Hefner.
Dr. Weisbart: Who would buy so many statues?
Fredricks: Hugh Hefner.

Doreau: Better call the precinct.
Hammer: Doreau, I'll make my all decisions. Better call the precinct.

Hammer: You know, Doreau, I act sure of myself but deep down, I got doubts. All the explosions and shootings and the violence.
Doreau: Yeah, makes you wonder if it's necessary.
Hammer: No, I wonder why it isn't working.

Title parodies the 1957-1963 series Have Gun - Will Travel, starring William Boone as Paladin, an elegant educated gunfighter for hire in the Old West.