Hammer: In all my years on the force, I have never been this disgusted.
Doreau: So you heard about it?
Hammer: Yeah, I heard about it. Canceling the Policeman's Field Day. It was my turn to get shot out of the cannon.
Trunk: This is the worst day of my life.
Hammer: Now you see, right there, you're wrong. You've said many times that the worst day of your life was the day I joined the force. Now you feel better?
Smartikoff: I started VVC after the network forced me out of programming. They said my ideas were too high-concept. You tell me. What's wrong with an alien puppet living with a suburban family? Okay! It's stupid, but what's wrong with it?
Landon Smartikoff: I could start a fourth network, just like this. (snaps his fingers)
Marc Rinsler: There already is a fourth network.
Landon Smartikoff: That's a network?
Marc Rinsler: Yeah, I see your point.
Smartikoff: But this is only the beginning. I've devoted my whole life to TV. Man has only begun to scratch the tip of the iceberg of the video age.
Rinsler: Look, I'm really not into television. I only watch PBS and Nightline.
Smartikoff: But someday you'll really be into television because it will rule your life. Man will never have to leave his couch. You will even travel to foreign lands by TV.
Rinsler: Actually, I enjoy flying.
Smartikoff: Ultimately, man and TV will combine to form a newer, higher being. Yes, a super race! Smarter, brighter, new and improved. And it will all start here with those who watch it. Yes, the rulers of tomorrow sit in front of the TV today.
(cuts to Hammer watching TV)
Doreau: Look--another article.
Hammer: Now what magazine is this from?
Doreau: Reader's Digest.
Hammer: Oh. Well, you can't get more authoritative than that.
Doreau: Oh, Sledge, you don't honestly believe that the networks are trying to turn people into mindless automatons, do you?
Hammer: Haven't you ever seen Matlock?
Trunk: Hammer... something is happening. Put that network in the dumper.
Hammer: I already did that last year.
Landon Smartikoff: Get me a gun, let's kill him.
Marc Rinsler: Are you mad?
Landon Smartikoff: Of course I'm mad. Would a sane man work in television?
Trunk: Hammer, what happened? Didn't they try to brainwash you?
Hammer: That's right, Captain. They did. They tried to play on my subconscious, but they forgot one important thing.
Trunk: What's that?
Hammer: I don't have a subconsious.
Hammer: Well, who's always close to my side? Someone I'm afraid I've been neglecting lately. Someone for whom I've never really been able to express my true feeling. Someone beautiful, sleek, attractive. I think it's obvious who I'm talking about.
Doreau: Oh, Sledge, stop.
Hammer: My gun.
Trunk: Hammer, you are a truly sensitive guy.
Hammer: Thank you. I never thought you'd notice.