Recap
A beautiful woman is sleeping on her bed when a bat hovers at the window. It transforms into a vampire who stalks into the room, bares his fangs... and his teeth fall out. The director, Steven Schmielman, calls cut, and accuses the elderly actor, Vincent Lagarski, of ruining his shot. Schmielman fires him and calls his assistant Zeff over to throw Lagarski off the set. Zeff apologizes and tries to escort him out, but Lagarski insists on making his exit alone. He walks off into the sunlight, pausing only for a moment to consider his actor's chair...
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Episode Quotes
Hammer: Actors. The only time a man should wear make-up on his face is after he's been embalmed.
Doreau: Sledge, how do you always manage to say horrible things.
Hammer: It's easy. I just use the English language.
Coroner Norman Blates: You see? Just like I said. Every last drop of blood has been drained from the victim's body.
Hammer: I haven't seen a man bled this dry since the DeLorean divorce.
Coroner Norman Blates: I tell you, I haven't seen anything like this in my twelve years as a coroner.
Doreau: I haven't seen anything like this in my six years as a cop.
Hammer: I haven't seen anything like this in my 49 years as a man.
Doreau: Sledge, you're only 40.
Hammer: I was a man nine years before I was born, Doreau.
Doreau: Do you have any idea what sort of person would want to drain a young director of all his blood?
Zeff: Any William-Morris agent.
Trunk: I've got officers requisitioning everything from garlic to wooden stakes.
Hammer:: You turned me down for those six months ago.
Doreau: So you're telling us your father's positively dead.
Malovia: I should hope so. Last week I spread his ashes all over the 605 freeway.
Hammer:: In keeping with his last request?
Malovia: No, I was driving too fast with the top down.
Doreau: Under what exact circumstances did your father pass away?
Malovia: He was watching television and he just quietly went to sleep. And... never woke up.
Hammer:: I hope he wasn't watching Mr. Belvedere. I'd hate to think the old fella went out suffering.
Doreau: Vincent Lagarski. Back among the living, I see.
Hammer: It comes as no surprise to me. I'd already suspected you were alive.
Lagarski:: When did you first suspect?
Hammer:: Well, when you said, "Unhand my daughter"...
Cultural References
Visual: In Memory of Mr. Blasko
This episode was dedicated to Bela "Blasko" Lugosi, a Hungarian born actor of 1920s and '30s horror films. You may know him from his 1931 portrayal of Dracula, or as the subject of Tim Burton's 1994 film Ed Wood.