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Son of the Beach Episode Guide

1 :01x01 - With Sex You Get Eggroll

First aired: Mar/14/2000
Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein, David Morgasen
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Lisa Brounstein (Large Woman), Glen Chin (Mr. X), Nina Grace Cho (Sum Pi), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Mickey Nahan (Announcer)

Some Asian women want to move to the USA and pay to be shipped to Malibu Adjacent. They believe that they will pay off the transportation bill through working in a sweatshop, but will instead be forced to work in a brothel. One of these Asian women runs into Notch Johnson, and he decides to try to help them. Meanwhile, Mayor Anita Massengil decides to get rid of the thorn in her side, the man holding back her political career. She sends Kimberlee Clark undercover to try to get Notch Johnson.



2 :01x02 - Silence of the Clams

First aired: Mar/21/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Mychal Wilson (Friend), Mary Wilcher (Buffy), Cerina Vincent (Sorority Girl), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), James O'Shea (Chad Jeremy), Kristen Miller (Hottie McDaniel)

An eco-terrorist is terrorizing Malibu Adjacent, forcing Notch Johnson to close down the beach. The Mayor is annoyed both because this is trying to turn Malibu Adjacent into a great place for college students to spend their Spring Break, and because it is the annual Crabapalooza time.

The college students arrive, and some are adversely affected by the toxic radiation waste released into the ocean by the eco-terrorist. Meanwhile, one of the college students makes a bet that he can get B.J. Cummings to sleep with him.



3 :01x03 - In the G-Hetto

First aired: Mar/28/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: William Warren
Guest star: Natashia Williams (Montego Bay), Alberto Vázquez (South American Leader), Smalls (The Bird), Jack Riley (Chappy), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil)

Jamaica’s old gang pays a visit to the beach, and The Bird demands that Jamaica make a drug run for him. As incentive, he won’t kill Montego Bay, Jamaica’s relative, if Jamaica makes the run. Notch tries to save the day by taking Jamaica’s place and making the two mile swim. Meanwhile, Chip Rommel enters the Mr. Pec pageant. Mayor Anita Massengil is the judge at the event and tries to blackmail Rommel into sleeping with her.



4 :01x04 - Love, Native American Style

First aired: Apr/04/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, Timothy Stack, James R. Stein
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Ken Ellis (Cantor), Ray Garcia (White Swallow), Ray Proscia (Emcee), Adam G. ( Dark Horse), Stephanie Chao (Lika), Billy Day Dodge (Chief Pokemon), Joanna Bacalso (Firebush), John Reilly (J.P Winne)

Notch must try to help his native American tribal land when Chief Pokemon dies. A casino corporation wants to build a casino on Kahonee Tribe land. The casino representative seduces the mayor into agreeing to the deal.

Meanwhile, Chip Rommel’s relatives living in South America need money, and Chip’s fresh out of spare cash. Many methods are tried to come up with some cash, including becoming a male stripper in his spare time.



5 :01x05 - Two Thongs Don't Make a Right

First aired: Apr/11/2000
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: David Starzyk (Joseph Anthony 'Dad' Gozinia), Rick Scarry (Reverend Ralph Green), Griffin Frazen (Peter Gonzinia), Lisa Brounstein (Fat Woman), Deprise Brescia (Juanita), Aleks West (Bikini Girl)

Reverend Ralph Green stops by and offers his organizations political support to Mayor Anita Massengil if she would do something about the wearing of thongs on the beaches of Malibu Adjacent. Always eager for support, the Mayor goes along with his request and bans the wearing of thongs on the beach (dress code requirement imposed, certain length of material required). The Mayor orders Notch Johnson and his lifeguards to enforce the new law. Johnson shows his support for thong-wearers by revealing his own thong.

Meanwhile, B.J. Cummings has a heart-felt reunion with her never meet, and somewhat denying the existence of father, Reverend Ralph Green.

Even more meanwhile, a small boy goes missing after trying to find the nude beach. Dad is upset and worried.



6 :01x06 - Fanny and the Professor

First aired: Apr/18/2000
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: William Warren
Guest star: Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Jack Riley (Chappy), Robert Pine (Governor), Nicole Dahm (Dreyfuss), Jaclyn Dahm (Louise), Erica Dahm (Julia)

One of Notch's former lifeguard buddies suddenly turns up, barely able to move, but super-intelligent. Professor Milosevic, that lifeguard buddy, has spent a rather large amount of time creating some robot lifeguards (Julia, Louis, and Dreyfuss), and for one reason or another, the Mayor has decided to replace the current human lifeguards with the robots. Notch's group of humans are given the chance to compete with the robots for the right to be Malibu Adjacent's lifeguards.



7 :01x07 - Eat My Muffin

First aired: Aug/01/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Mark Hamill (The Divine Rod), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Tracy Spindola (Big Dipper), Steve Vinovich (Mayor Edward James Almost), Brandi Sherwood (Vega), Michelle Ruben (Hot Girl)

An old friend of B.J. Cummings turns up and gives her a pamphlet for an organization that she has joined. Feeling down, B.J. decides to check this organization out. B.J. comes under the influence of The Devine Rod and his cult or very attractive, barely clothed women (and Mark Hamill as The Devine Rod).



8 :01x08 - Miso Honei

First aired: Aug/08/2000
Writer: Peter Kaikko, Paul A. Abeyta
Director: Gloria Muzio
Guest star: Corbin Bernsen (Big Red Johnson), Sandra Westgate (Woman), Christopher Winsor (Tommy), Jack Riley (Chappy), Tyler Mane (Adolf Manson), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer)

The beach will have to be closed because of a huge storm wave that will hit Malibu Adjacent (though no one seems to leave). The mayor, spotting an opportunity, orders Notch to ride the big one. He is quite frightened of the prospect, though, because he lost his dad the last time a wave this big came by (dad, Big Red Johnson, tried to ride the Miso Honei wave and was lost at sea). An old enemy of Notch's, Adolf Manson, who is now in prison because of Notch, is released from prison by the Mayor so that Adolf can ride the big wave. The local children look up to this psychopath and Notch realizes that he must try to ride the wave or risk losing the children.



9 :01x09 - South of Her Border

First aired: Aug/15/2000
Writer: Timothy Stack, David Morgasen, James R. Stein
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Erik Estrada (President Señor Winces), Maureen McCormick (Mrs. Strawther), Janice Montellone (Labia), John Vargas (Sergeant Cohiba), Jose Perez (General Partagas), Miles Marsico (Kid), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil)

The President of Humidor, President Seymour Wences, rides up to Malibu Adjacent to visit the great revolutionary Notch Johnson. The President needs the services of Johnson, so he heads south to Humidor, to try to keep that country a democracy.

Meanwhile, fearing that Notch might need their help, or if not that they might be able to visit the great spas, the three female lifeguards head off to Humidor.

Even more meanwhile, Roland is left in charge of the beach, and is offered the chance by the mayor, to instruct some young children how to become lifeguards.



10 :01x10 - Day of the Jackass

First aired: Aug/22/2000
Writer: Fred Fox, Jr., Jim Geoghan
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Bumper Robinson (Prince Vidor), Alan Thicke (Captain "Buck" Enteneille), Cuba Nguyen (Premier Ho), Allen Cliffton White (King Vidor)

Malibu Adjacent holds a peace conference between Africa and Asia, and Notch Johnson briefly heads the security forces assigned to protect the delegates.

Meanwhile, an old military buddy of Notch's turns up, a Captain "Buck" Enteneille, who just happened to be visiting, or is he?

Even more meanwhile, Jamaica St. Croix dates one of the delegates sons, a Prince Vidor.



11 :01x11 - A Star Is Boned

First aired: Aug/29/2000
Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein, David Morgasen
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Rachel York (Regina Streep), Albert Wong (Delivery Man), Doug Cox (Director), Maxwell Caulfield (Stevens), Darla Haun (Mary)

A movie is in the process of being filmed in and near Malibu Adjacent. The lead actress, Regina Streep, has been receiving a series of death threats, and attempts, and Notch ends up becoming her bodyguard, and date.



12 :01x12 - Attack of the Cocktopuss

First aired: Sep/05/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Travis Wester (Dude), Doug Stone (The Cocktopuss), Miles Marsico (Kid), Mickey Jones (Vernon), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), James Henriksen (Reporter), Gary Coleman (Barker Bob), Corey Feldman (Record Executive), Leslie Jordan (Jordan)

An almost mythical creature, the Cocktopuss, wanders ashore and befriends B.J. Meanwhile, some prize money has been made available to anyone that captures a Cocktopuss. The mayor, spotting a political opportunity, has the Cocktopuss captured (therefore keeping the money for the city), and puts the Cocktopuss on display. B.J. and the rest of the lifeguards try to figure out some way to help this Cocktopuss.



13 :01x13 - Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong

First aired: Sep/12/2000
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Billy Acquaviva, Jr. (Overweight Sal), Rick K. Kleber (Morbidly Obese Frankie), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Victoria Silvstedt (Eva Rommel), Jack Riley (Chappy), Vincent Pastore (Vince Fellachio), Buck Kartalian (Papa Gigio)

Some mobsters start to try to take over Malibu Adjacent, after having been kicked out of their last place of abode. Notch Johnson, and his crew, try to stop the mafia from completing their take-over of Malibu Adjacent.



14 :02x01 - B.J. Blue Hawaii

First aired: Mar/13/2001
Writer: Jeremiah Bosgang
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Pat Morita (King Kumonya), Linda Kim (Rucy Roo), Richmond Arquette (M.C.), Alexis Arquette (Beverly), Ant (Jerry Aglay)



15 :02x02 - From Russia with Johnson

First aired: Mar/20/2001
Writer: Joe Wiseman, Joe Port
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Tori A. Artz (Thurston Banks Hewitt III), Roman Varshavsky (Federov), Kristof Konrad (Sergei), Walter Koenig (General Dimitri Sukitov), Angelica Bridges (Areola)



16 :02x03 - Remember Her Titans

First aired: Mar/27/2001
Writer: Timothy Stack, David Morgasen, James R. Stein
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Rodney Neil (Color Commentator), Thomas Anthony Jones (McBeal Ali), Nick Jameson (Heathrow), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), John Salley (Jerome Curl), Ungenita Prevost (Jerome's Girl)



17 :02x04 - Rod Strikes Back

First aired: Apr/03/2001
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Mark Hamill (The Devine Rod), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Candace Kita (Reporter), Dan Tullis, Jr. (Prison Guard)



18 :02x05 - Queefer Madness

First aired: Apr/10/2001
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Chuck Pacheco (Unknown), Neil Patrick Harris (Loverboy), Lukas Haas (Crazy), David Arquette (Johnny Queefer), Sonia McCullum (Swim Suit Model)



19 :02x06 - Light My Firebush

First aired: Apr/17/2001
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Joan Van Ark (Ima Cummings), Casey Sander (Ray Cummings), Michelle Ruben (Hot Girl), Larry Flynt (Himself), Joanna Bacalso (Firebush)



20 :02x07 - Chip's a Goy

First aired: Apr/24/2001
Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein, David Morgasen
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Gilbert Gottfried (Noccus Johnstein), Mark Harris (Himself), Jackie Martling (Himself), Shaun Toub (Mohammed), Stu Levin (Schmuel), Elisa Leonetti (Chcch)

Notch and the gang go to Israel to visit sister city Tel Aviv Adjacent. Notch is kidnapped by HUMMUS, a terrorist group, and it is up to the girls to rescue him.



21 :02x08 - A Tale of Two Johnsons

First aired: May/29/2001
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: John Putch
Guest star: Jerry Springer (The Commissioner), Dweezil Zappa (Tom Maxwell), Rachel Weller (Hot Groupie)



22 :02x09 - It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World

First aired: Jun/05/2001
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf (Himself), Todd Bridges (Himself), Patty Hearst (Digger's Mother (as Patricia Hearst)), Gary Dell'Abate (Himself), Sydney Colston (Mercury Lincoln), Jake Fritz (Little Boy), Rib Hillis (Digger Cooseberry), Michelle Ruben (Naked Weightlifter Woman), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic)



23 :02x10 - It's Showtime at the Apollo 13!

First aired: Jun/12/2001
Writer: Joe Wiseman, Joe Port
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Dwayne L. Barnes (Sean Puffy Aldrin), Simon Helberg (Billy), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), Ashley C. Nelson (Hot Girl), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Sandra Taylor (Hot Teacher)



24 :02x11 - The Island of Dr. Merlot

First aired: Jan/19/2001
Writer: Timothy Stack, David Morgasen, James R. Stein
Director: John Putch
Guest star: Julie Marques (Cabernet), Kristin Malia (Reporter), Victor Wilson (Navy SEAL), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Joey Buttafuoco (Trophy Head), John O'Hurley (Dr. Merlot)



25 :02x12 - The Sexorcist

First aired: Jun/26/2001
Writer: Mark Amato
Director: Gene Laufenberg
Guest star: Gretchen Becker (Moderator), Tim Silva (Dr. Towers), William Schallert (Father Chuck), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Sammi Rotibi (African Worker), Maureen McCormick (Mrs. Strawther), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Darla Haun (Sister Ashley)



26 :02x13 - Grand Prix

First aired: Jul/03/2001
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Cindy Williams (Bobbi), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Scott Hartman (Davey Rib Condom), David Graf (Jacques Douche), Cindy Ambuehl (Nicorette)



27 :02x14 - Area 69

First aired: Jul/10/2001
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: John Putch
Guest star: Gloria Payne (Snatch Johnson), Alan Thicke (Captain "Buck" Enteneille), Johnny Messner (Handsome Guy), Joanna Krupa (Hot Girl), Beetlejuice (Himself), Chip Zien (Larry Big)



28 :02x15 - Booger Nights

First aired: Jul/17/2001
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Tiffany Richardson (Sales Girl), Bradley Jay Lesley (Cellmate), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Victoria Silvstedt (Eva Rommel), Jack Riley (Chappy), Robert Pine (Governor Thomas), Vincent Pastore ( Vince Fellachio), Ian Kerr (Butler), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Beetlejuice (Himself)



29 :03x01 - Penetration Island

First aired: Jun/18/2002
Writer: David Morgasen, Timothy Stack, James R. Stein
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Bill Maher (Himself), Valerie Penso (Island Girl), Gervase Peterson (Himself), Emilio Rivera (Dirty Sanchez), Mark L. Walberg (Himself), Kaya Wittenburg (Reality Man), Jenna Lewis (Reality Woman), Chris Kennedy (Colin Hunter), Roy Jenkins (Tex Double), Jason Alexander (Tex Finklestein), Adam Carolla (The Host), Iva Hasperger (Myna Penetration), Richard Hatch (Himself), Susan Hawk (Unknown), Jim Jackman (Yippie)



31 :03x02 - Saturday Night Queefer

First aired: Jun/25/2002
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Rick Marotta (Tony Manure), The Squee-kees (Themselves), Chuck Pacheco (DJ Host), Marc Lynn (Cal Manure), Jim Jackman (Yippie), David Arquette (Johnny Queefer)



32 :03x03 - In the Line of Booty

First aired: Jul/02/2002
Writer: Kenneth Braun
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: C. Tyson Garner (Dancer), Troy Cornett (Dancer), Tawfiq Akhir (Dancer), Smalls (Larry "Biggy" Little), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Maria Quiban (Reporter), C. Thomas Howell (Father Jason Dudikoff), Staci Francis (Cleo Taurus), James Black (Busta Hyman)



33 :03x04 - Three Days of the Condom

First aired: Jul/09/2002
Writer: Reid Harrison
Director: Arthur Borman
Guest star: Chip Zien (Larry Big), Jimmie Walker (Uncle Ben), Robert Stephen Ryan ( Professor Milosevic), Gloria Payne (Snatch Johnson), Johnny Messner (Handsome Guy), Joanna Krupa (Hot Girl), William Katt (Congressman George Bukaki), Charles Napier (Charles Foster Brooks)



34 :03x05 - Witness for the Prostitution

First aired: Jul/16/2002
Writer: Mira Handman, Allison Gallant
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Kristin Herold (Tiffany), Cerina Vincent (Mandy), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Jack Riley (Chappy), Rance Howard (Unknown), Morgan Brittany (Kimberlee's Mother), Billy Beck (Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos)



35 :03x06 - The Gay Team

First aired: Jul/23/2002
Writer: Sam O'Neal, Neal Boushell
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Alan Thicke (Captain "Buck" Enteneille), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Mark Harris (Gaybraham Lincoln), Randy Hall (Agent McHale), Michael DeVorzon (Young Man), RuPaul (Heinous Anus), Billy Beck ( Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), Angelica Bridges (Areola)

Heinous Anus uses a machine to capture boys off of the Malibu Adjacent beach and take them to an alternate dimension.



36 :03x07 - You Only Come Once

First aired: Jul/30/2002
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: Jack Murray
Guest star: Toru M. Tanaka, Jr. (Handjive), T.V. Blake (Gruyere), Pam Trotter (Provalone), Frank Sinatra, Jr. (Notorious Stinkfinger), Gloria Gifford (Okra Lee Gifford), Rick Garcia (Casino Dealer), Enya Flack (Velveeta), Michael Ensign ("F")



37 :03x08 - Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood

First aired: Aug/06/2002
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Jack Riley (Chappy), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Robert Stephen Ryan ( Professor Milosevic), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Musetta Vander (Nutragena), Jim Jackman (Yippie), Rib Hillis (Digger Gooseberry), Gilbert Gottfried (Noccus Johnstein), Jake Fritz (Little Boy), Sydney Colston (Mercury Lincoln), Robert Beuth (Town Crier), Max Baker (Englishman)



38 :03x09 - Godfather Knows Best

First aired: Aug/13/2002
Writer: David DiPietro, Paul Ciancarelli
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Melanie Walker (Cigarette Girl), Randall Tamayei (Judge Speedo), Vincent Pastore (Vince Fellachio), Rick K. Kleber (Morbidly Obese Frankie), Maureen McCormick (Mrs. Strawther)



39 :03x10 - Empty the Dragon

First aired: Aug/20/2002
Writer: Mark Amato
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Hiroshi Sakata (Photographer #1), Stacy Joe Miyake (Nokia), Keli'i (Grandson), Ken Takemoto (Professor Taykakaka), George Takei (Grandfather), Lynne Marie Stewart (Binaka), Susie Park (Binaka), Daran Norris (Karaoke Emcee), David Morgasen (Prof. Taykakaka/Non-Sync Notch), Fabio (Himself), Tim Herzog (Zig), Preston James Hillier (Guy #1), Dana Lee (General Toumalou), Rex Lee (Bellboy), Lydia Look (Madam)



40 :03x11 - The Long Hot Johnson

First aired: Aug/27/2002
Writer: Patrick Stack, Kal Zurnamer
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Cathy Shambley (Nurse), Robert R. Shafer (Main Crony), Barbara Roberts (Aunt Jizzy), Nate Reese (Congregant), Mickey Jones (Vernon), Deborah Harmon (Pussy Willow), Gary Coleman (Saltine Cracker), Billy Beck (Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), Harry Anderson (Bull Cracker), Leslie Jordan (Jordan)



41 :03x12 - Taco Lips Now (1)

First aired: Sep/17/2002
Writer: James R. Stein, Timothy Stack, David Morgasen
Guest star: Cathy Shambley (Nurse), Patrick Stack (Jury Forman), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Jim Wise (Agent #1), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), David Morgasen (Professor Milosevic), Tsuyoshi Abe (Asian Man), Kathy Benton (Balliff), Lisa Inouye (Vietnamese Woman), Stephen Mendillo (Judge Howard Doody), Lee Majors (Colonel Seymore Kooze), Victor Licas (Asian Carney Man), Mark Hamill (The Divine Rod), Ian Ziering (Harry Johnson), Jack Riley (Chappy), Wendy Goldman (Lawyer), Bob Amaral (Dominic Barbarella), Billy Beck (Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), Roy Jenkins (INS Agent), Candace Kita (Reporter), Len Lesser (Nick Pappasmearos, Jr.)



42 :03x13 - Jailhouse Notch (2)

First aired: Sep/24/2002
Writer: David DiPietro, Paul Ciancarelli
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Tyler Mane (Adolf Manson), Stephen Mendillo (Judge Howard Doody), Jack Riley (Chappy), Patrick Stack (Jury Forman), Dan Tullis, Jr. (Prison Guard), Anson Williams (Warden Jack Beatty), Robert Donavan (Guard), Bill MacDonald (Reporter), Barry Livingston (Eric), Lee Majors (Colonel Seymore Kooze), Ian Ziering (Harry Johnson), Bob Amaral (Dominic Barbarella), Scott Berman (Greasy Guy), Christopher Darden (Himself), James Gleason (Irish Priest), Len Lesser (Nick Pappasmearos, Jr.)



43 :03x14 - Bad News, Mr. Johnson (3)

First aired: Oct/01/2002
Writer: Paul Ciancarelli, David DiPietro, James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: David Morgasen (Professor Milosevic), Patrick T. O'Brien (Chip's Poopie), Jack Riley (Chappy), Barbara Roberts (Aunt Jizzy), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Jon Lovitz (Father of B.J.'s Baby), Len Lesser (Nick Pappasmearos, Jr.), Deborah Lee Hall (Chip's Mootie), James Gleason (Irish Priest), Candace Kita (Reporter), Scott Berman ( Greasy Guy), Ian Ziering (Harry Johnson), Lee Majors (Colonel Seymore Kooze), Shannon Welles (Nun)