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Son of the Beach Episode Guide

1 :01x01 - With Sex You Get Eggroll

First aired: Mar/14/2000
Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein, David Morgasen
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Lisa Brounstein (Large Woman), Glen Chin (Mr. X), Nina Grace Cho (Sum Pi), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Mickey Nahan (Announcer)

Some Asian women want to move to the USA and pay to be shipped to Malibu Adjacent. They believe that they will pay off the transportation bill through working in a sweatshop, but will instead be forced to work in a brothel. One of these Asian women runs into Notch Johnson, and he decides to try to help them. Meanwhile, Mayor Anita Massengil decides to get rid of the thorn in her side, the man holding back her political career. She sends Kimberlee Clark undercover to try to get Notch Johnson.



2 :01x02 - Silence of the Clams

First aired: Mar/21/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Kristen Miller (Hottie McDaniel), James O'Shea (Chad Jeremy), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Cerina Vincent (Sorority Girl), Mary Wilcher (Buffy), Mychal Wilson (Friend)

An eco-terrorist is terrorizing Malibu Adjacent, forcing Notch Johnson to close down the beach. The Mayor is annoyed both because this is trying to turn Malibu Adjacent into a great place for college students to spend their Spring Break, and because it is the annual Crabapalooza time.

The college students arrive, and some are adversely affected by the toxic radiation waste released into the ocean by the eco-terrorist. Meanwhile, one of the college students makes a bet that he can get B.J. Cummings to sleep with him.



3 :01x03 - In the G-Hetto

First aired: Mar/28/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: William Warren
Guest star: Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Jack Riley (Chappy), Smalls (The Bird), Alberto Vázquez (South American Leader), Natashia Williams (Montego Bay)

Jamaica’s old gang pays a visit to the beach, and The Bird demands that Jamaica make a drug run for him. As incentive, he won’t kill Montego Bay, Jamaica’s relative, if Jamaica makes the run. Notch tries to save the day by taking Jamaica’s place and making the two mile swim. Meanwhile, Chip Rommel enters the Mr. Pec pageant. Mayor Anita Massengil is the judge at the event and tries to blackmail Rommel into sleeping with her.



4 :01x04 - Love, Native American Style

First aired: Apr/04/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, Timothy Stack, James R. Stein
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: John Reilly (J.P Winne), Joanna Bacalso (Firebush), Billy Day Dodge (Chief Pokemon), Stephanie Chao (Lika), Adam G. ( Dark Horse), Ray Proscia (Emcee), Ray Garcia (White Swallow), Ken Ellis (Cantor)

Notch must try to help his native American tribal land when Chief Pokemon dies. A casino corporation wants to build a casino on Kahonee Tribe land. The casino representative seduces the mayor into agreeing to the deal.

Meanwhile, Chip Rommel’s relatives living in South America need money, and Chip’s fresh out of spare cash. Many methods are tried to come up with some cash, including becoming a male stripper in his spare time.



5 :01x05 - Two Thongs Don't Make a Right

First aired: Apr/11/2000
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Aleks West (Bikini Girl), Deprise Brescia (Juanita), Lisa Brounstein (Fat Woman), Griffin Frazen (Peter Gonzinia), Rick Scarry (Reverend Ralph Green), David Starzyk (Joseph Anthony 'Dad' Gozinia)

Reverend Ralph Green stops by and offers his organizations political support to Mayor Anita Massengil if she would do something about the wearing of thongs on the beaches of Malibu Adjacent. Always eager for support, the Mayor goes along with his request and bans the wearing of thongs on the beach (dress code requirement imposed, certain length of material required). The Mayor orders Notch Johnson and his lifeguards to enforce the new law. Johnson shows his support for thong-wearers by revealing his own thong.

Meanwhile, B.J. Cummings has a heart-felt reunion with her never meet, and somewhat denying the existence of father, Reverend Ralph Green.

Even more meanwhile, a small boy goes missing after trying to find the nude beach. Dad is upset and worried.



6 :01x06 - Fanny and the Professor

First aired: Apr/18/2000
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: William Warren
Guest star: Erica Dahm (Julia), Jaclyn Dahm (Louise), Nicole Dahm (Dreyfuss), Robert Pine (Governor), Jack Riley (Chappy), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic)

One of Notch's former lifeguard buddies suddenly turns up, barely able to move, but super-intelligent. Professor Milosevic, that lifeguard buddy, has spent a rather large amount of time creating some robot lifeguards (Julia, Louis, and Dreyfuss), and for one reason or another, the Mayor has decided to replace the current human lifeguards with the robots. Notch's group of humans are given the chance to compete with the robots for the right to be Malibu Adjacent's lifeguards.



7 :01x07 - Eat My Muffin

First aired: Aug/01/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Mark Hamill (The Divine Rod), Michelle Ruben (Hot Girl), Brandi Sherwood (Vega), Steve Vinovich (Mayor Edward James Almost), Tracy Spindola (Big Dipper), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic)

An old friend of B.J. Cummings turns up and gives her a pamphlet for an organization that she has joined. Feeling down, B.J. decides to check this organization out. B.J. comes under the influence of The Devine Rod and his cult or very attractive, barely clothed women (and Mark Hamill as The Devine Rod).



8 :01x08 - Miso Honei

First aired: Aug/08/2000
Writer: Peter Kaikko, Paul A. Abeyta
Director: Gloria Muzio
Guest star: Corbin Bernsen (Big Red Johnson), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), Tyler Mane (Adolf Manson), Jack Riley (Chappy), Christopher Winsor (Tommy), Sandra Westgate (Woman)

The beach will have to be closed because of a huge storm wave that will hit Malibu Adjacent (though no one seems to leave). The mayor, spotting an opportunity, orders Notch to ride the big one. He is quite frightened of the prospect, though, because he lost his dad the last time a wave this big came by (dad, Big Red Johnson, tried to ride the Miso Honei wave and was lost at sea). An old enemy of Notch's, Adolf Manson, who is now in prison because of Notch, is released from prison by the Mayor so that Adolf can ride the big wave. The local children look up to this psychopath and Notch realizes that he must try to ride the wave or risk losing the children.



9 :01x09 - South of Her Border

First aired: Aug/15/2000
Writer: Timothy Stack, David Morgasen, James R. Stein
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Erik Estrada (President Señor Winces), Maureen McCormick (Mrs. Strawther), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Miles Marsico (Kid), Jose Perez (General Partagas), John Vargas (Sergeant Cohiba), Janice Montellone (Labia)

The President of Humidor, President Seymour Wences, rides up to Malibu Adjacent to visit the great revolutionary Notch Johnson. The President needs the services of Johnson, so he heads south to Humidor, to try to keep that country a democracy.

Meanwhile, fearing that Notch might need their help, or if not that they might be able to visit the great spas, the three female lifeguards head off to Humidor.

Even more meanwhile, Roland is left in charge of the beach, and is offered the chance by the mayor, to instruct some young children how to become lifeguards.



10 :01x10 - Day of the Jackass

First aired: Aug/22/2000
Writer: Fred Fox, Jr., Jim Geoghan
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Bumper Robinson (Prince Vidor), Alan Thicke (Captain "Buck" Enteneille), Cuba Nguyen (Premier Ho), Allen Cliffton White (King Vidor)

Malibu Adjacent holds a peace conference between Africa and Asia, and Notch Johnson briefly heads the security forces assigned to protect the delegates.

Meanwhile, an old military buddy of Notch's turns up, a Captain "Buck" Enteneille, who just happened to be visiting, or is he?

Even more meanwhile, Jamaica St. Croix dates one of the delegates sons, a Prince Vidor.



11 :01x11 - A Star Is Boned

First aired: Aug/29/2000
Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein, David Morgasen
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Darla Haun (Mary), Maxwell Caulfield (Stevens), Doug Cox (Director), Albert Wong (Delivery Man), Rachel York (Regina Streep)

A movie is in the process of being filmed in and near Malibu Adjacent. The lead actress, Regina Streep, has been receiving a series of death threats, and attempts, and Notch ends up becoming her bodyguard, and date.



12 :01x12 - Attack of the Cocktopuss

First aired: Sep/05/2000
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Leslie Jordan (Jordan), Corey Feldman (Record Executive), Gary Coleman (Barker Bob), James Henriksen (Reporter), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Mickey Jones (Vernon), Miles Marsico (Kid), Doug Stone (The Cocktopuss), Travis Wester (Dude)

An almost mythical creature, the Cocktopuss, wanders ashore and befriends B.J. Meanwhile, some prize money has been made available to anyone that captures a Cocktopuss. The mayor, spotting a political opportunity, has the Cocktopuss captured (therefore keeping the money for the city), and puts the Cocktopuss on display. B.J. and the rest of the lifeguards try to figure out some way to help this Cocktopuss.



13 :01x13 - Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong

First aired: Sep/12/2000
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: George Verschoor
Guest star: Buck Kartalian (Papa Gigio), Vincent Pastore (Vince Fellachio), Jack Riley (Chappy), Victoria Silvstedt (Eva Rommel), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Rick K. Kleber (Morbidly Obese Frankie), Billy Acquaviva, Jr. (Overweight Sal)

Some mobsters start to try to take over Malibu Adjacent, after having been kicked out of their last place of abode. Notch Johnson, and his crew, try to stop the mafia from completing their take-over of Malibu Adjacent.



14 :02x01 - B.J. Blue Hawaii

First aired: Mar/13/2001
Writer: Jeremiah Bosgang
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Ant (Jerry Aglay), Alexis Arquette (Beverly), Richmond Arquette (M.C.), Linda Kim (Rucy Roo), Pat Morita (King Kumonya)



15 :02x02 - From Russia with Johnson

First aired: Mar/20/2001
Writer: Joe Wiseman, Joe Port
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Angelica Bridges (Areola), Walter Koenig (General Dimitri Sukitov), Kristof Konrad (Sergei), Roman Varshavsky (Federov), Tori A. Artz (Thurston Banks Hewitt III)



16 :02x03 - Remember Her Titans

First aired: Mar/27/2001
Writer: Timothy Stack, David Morgasen, James R. Stein
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Ungenita Prevost (Jerome's Girl), John Salley (Jerome Curl), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Nick Jameson (Heathrow), Thomas Anthony Jones (McBeal Ali), Rodney Neil (Color Commentator)



17 :02x04 - Rod Strikes Back

First aired: Apr/03/2001
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Mark Hamill (The Devine Rod), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Candace Kita (Reporter), Dan Tullis, Jr. (Prison Guard)



18 :02x05 - Queefer Madness

First aired: Apr/10/2001
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Sonia McCullum (Swim Suit Model), David Arquette (Johnny Queefer), Lukas Haas (Crazy), Neil Patrick Harris (Loverboy), Chuck Pacheco (Unknown)



19 :02x06 - Light My Firebush

First aired: Apr/17/2001
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Joanna Bacalso (Firebush), Larry Flynt (Himself), Michelle Ruben (Hot Girl), Casey Sander (Ray Cummings), Joan Van Ark (Ima Cummings)



20 :02x07 - Chip's a Goy

First aired: Apr/24/2001
Writer: Timothy Stack, James R. Stein, David Morgasen
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Gilbert Gottfried (Noccus Johnstein), Mark Harris (Himself), Jackie Martling (Himself), Elisa Leonetti (Chcch), Stu Levin (Schmuel), Shaun Toub (Mohammed)

Notch and the gang go to Israel to visit sister city Tel Aviv Adjacent. Notch is kidnapped by HUMMUS, a terrorist group, and it is up to the girls to rescue him.



21 :02x08 - A Tale of Two Johnsons

First aired: May/29/2001
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: John Putch
Guest star: Jerry Springer (The Commissioner), Dweezil Zappa (Tom Maxwell), Rachel Weller (Hot Groupie)



22 :02x09 - It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World

First aired: Jun/05/2001
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf (Himself), Todd Bridges (Himself), Patty Hearst (Digger's Mother (as Patricia Hearst)), Gary Dell'Abate (Himself), Sydney Colston (Mercury Lincoln), Jake Fritz (Little Boy), Rib Hillis (Digger Cooseberry), Michelle Ruben (Naked Weightlifter Woman), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic)



23 :02x10 - It's Showtime at the Apollo 13!

First aired: Jun/12/2001
Writer: Joe Wiseman, Joe Port
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Dwayne L. Barnes (Sean Puffy Aldrin), Simon Helberg (Billy), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), Ashley C. Nelson (Hot Girl), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Sandra Taylor (Hot Teacher)



24 :02x11 - The Island of Dr. Merlot

First aired: Jan/19/2001
Writer: Timothy Stack, David Morgasen, James R. Stein
Director: John Putch
Guest star: John O'Hurley (Dr. Merlot), Joey Buttafuoco (Trophy Head), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Victor Wilson (Navy SEAL), Kristin Malia (Reporter), Julie Marques (Cabernet)



25 :02x12 - The Sexorcist

First aired: Jun/26/2001
Writer: Mark Amato
Director: Gene Laufenberg
Guest star: Darla Haun (Sister Ashley), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Maureen McCormick (Mrs. Strawther), Sammi Rotibi (African Worker), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), William Schallert (Father Chuck), Tim Silva (Dr. Towers), Gretchen Becker (Moderator)



26 :02x13 - Grand Prix

First aired: Jul/03/2001
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Cindy Ambuehl (Nicorette), David Graf (Jacques Douche), Scott Hartman (Davey Rib Condom), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Bill MacDonald (Sports Announcer), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Cindy Williams (Bobbi)



27 :02x14 - Area 69

First aired: Jul/10/2001
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: John Putch
Guest star: Chip Zien (Larry Big), Beetlejuice (Himself), Joanna Krupa (Hot Girl), Johnny Messner (Handsome Guy), Alan Thicke (Captain "Buck" Enteneille), Gloria Payne (Snatch Johnson)



28 :02x15 - Booger Nights

First aired: Jul/17/2001
Writer: James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Beetlejuice (Himself), Jason C. Hopkins (Kody Massengil), Ian Kerr (Butler), Vincent Pastore ( Vince Fellachio), Robert Pine (Governor Thomas), Jack Riley (Chappy), Victoria Silvstedt (Eva Rommel), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Bradley Jay Lesley (Cellmate), Tiffany Richardson (Sales Girl)



29 :03x01 - Penetration Island

First aired: Jun/18/2002
Writer: David Morgasen, Timothy Stack, James R. Stein
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Jason Alexander (Tex Finklestein), Adam Carolla (The Host), Iva Hasperger (Myna Penetration), Richard Hatch (Himself), Susan Hawk (Unknown), Jim Jackman (Yippie), Roy Jenkins (Tex Double), Chris Kennedy (Colin Hunter), Jenna Lewis (Reality Woman), Bill Maher (Himself), Valerie Penso (Island Girl), Gervase Peterson (Himself), Emilio Rivera (Dirty Sanchez), Mark L. Walberg (Himself), Kaya Wittenburg (Reality Man)



31 :03x02 - Saturday Night Queefer

First aired: Jun/25/2002
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: David Arquette (Johnny Queefer), Jim Jackman (Yippie), Marc Lynn (Cal Manure), Chuck Pacheco (DJ Host), The Squee-kees (Themselves), Rick Marotta (Tony Manure)



32 :03x03 - In the Line of Booty

First aired: Jul/02/2002
Writer: Kenneth Braun
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: James Black (Busta Hyman), Stacy Francis (Cleo Taurus), C. Thomas Howell (Father Jason Dudikoff), Maria Quiban (Reporter), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Smalls (Larry "Biggy" Little), Tawfiq Akhir (Dancer), Troy Cornett (Dancer), C. Tyson Garner (Dancer)



33 :03x04 - Three Days of the Condom

First aired: Jul/09/2002
Writer: Reid Harrison
Director: Arthur Borman
Guest star: Charles Napier (Charles Foster Brooks), William Katt (Congressman George Bukaki), Joanna Krupa (Hot Girl), Johnny Messner (Handsome Guy), Gloria Payne (Snatch Johnson), Robert Stephen Ryan ( Professor Milosevic), Jimmie Walker (Uncle Ben), Chip Zien (Larry Big)



34 :03x05 - Witness for the Prostitution

First aired: Jul/16/2002
Writer: Mira Handman, Allison Gallant
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Billy Beck (Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), Morgan Brittany (Kimberlee's Mother), Rance Howard (Unknown), Jack Riley (Chappy), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Cerina Vincent (Mandy), Kristin Herold (Tiffany)



35 :03x06 - The Gay Team

First aired: Jul/23/2002
Writer: Sam O'Neal, Neal Boushell
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Angelica Bridges (Areola), Billy Beck ( Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), RuPaul (Heinous Anus), Michael DeVorzon (Young Man), Randy Hall (Agent McHale), Mark Harris (Gaybraham Lincoln), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Alan Thicke (Captain "Buck" Enteneille)

Heinous Anus uses a machine to capture boys off of the Malibu Adjacent beach and take them to an alternate dimension.



36 :03x07 - You Only Come Once

First aired: Jul/30/2002
Writer: Joe Port, Joe Wiseman
Director: Jack Murray
Guest star: Michael Ensign ("F"), Enya Flack (Velveeta), Rick Garcia (Casino Dealer), Gloria Gifford (Okra Lee Gifford), Frank Sinatra, Jr. (Notorious Stinkfinger), Pam Trotter (Provalone), T.V. Blake (Gruyere), Toru M. Tanaka, Jr. (Handjive)



37 :03x08 - Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood

First aired: Aug/06/2002
Writer: David Morgasen, James R. Stein, Timothy Stack
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Max Baker (Englishman), Robert Beuth (Town Crier), Sydney Colston (Mercury Lincoln), Jake Fritz (Little Boy), Gilbert Gottfried (Noccus Johnstein), Rib Hillis (Digger Gooseberry), Jim Jackman (Yippie), Jack Riley (Chappy), Michelle Ruben (Wrap-up Girl), Robert Stephen Ryan ( Professor Milosevic), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Musetta Vander (Nutragena)



38 :03x09 - Godfather Knows Best

First aired: Aug/13/2002
Writer: David DiPietro, Paul Ciancarelli
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Maureen McCormick (Mrs. Strawther), Rick K. Kleber (Morbidly Obese Frankie), Vincent Pastore (Vince Fellachio), Randall Tamayei (Judge Speedo), Melanie Walker (Cigarette Girl)



39 :03x10 - Empty the Dragon

First aired: Aug/20/2002
Writer: Mark Amato
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Fabio (Himself), Tim Herzog (Zig), Preston James Hillier (Guy #1), Dana Lee (General Toumalou), Rex Lee (Bellboy), Lydia Look (Madam), David Morgasen (Prof. Taykakaka/Non-Sync Notch), Daran Norris (Karaoke Emcee), Susie Park (Binaka), Lynne Marie Stewart (Binaka), George Takei (Grandfather), Ken Takemoto (Professor Taykakaka), Keli'i (Grandson), Stacy Joe Miyake (Nokia), Hiroshi Sakata (Photographer #1)



40 :03x11 - The Long Hot Johnson

First aired: Aug/27/2002
Writer: Patrick Stack, Kal Zurnamer
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Leslie Jordan (Jordan), Harry Anderson (Bull Cracker), Billy Beck (Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), Gary Coleman (Saltine Cracker), Deborah Harmon (Pussy Willow), Mickey Jones (Vernon), Nate Reese (Congregant), Barbara Roberts (Aunt Jizzy), Robert R. Shafer (Main Crony), Cathy Shambley (Nurse)



41 :03x12 - Taco Lips Now (1)

First aired: Sep/17/2002
Writer: James R. Stein, Timothy Stack, David Morgasen
Guest star: Mark Hamill (The Divine Rod), Ian Ziering (Harry Johnson), Jack Riley (Chappy), Wendy Goldman (Lawyer), Bob Amaral (Dominic Barbarella), Billy Beck (Nick "Snuggles" Pappasmearos), Roy Jenkins (INS Agent), Candace Kita (Reporter), Len Lesser (Nick Pappasmearos, Jr.), Victor Licas (Asian Carney Man), Lee Majors (Colonel Seymore Kooze), Stephen Mendillo (Judge Howard Doody), Cathy Shambley (Nurse), Patrick Stack (Jury Forman), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Jim Wise (Agent #1), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), David Morgasen (Professor Milosevic), Tsuyoshi Abe (Asian Man), Kathy Benton (Balliff), Lisa Inouye (Vietnamese Woman)



42 :03x13 - Jailhouse Notch (2)

First aired: Sep/24/2002
Writer: David DiPietro, Paul Ciancarelli
Director: Scott McAboy
Guest star: Lee Majors (Colonel Seymore Kooze), Ian Ziering (Harry Johnson), Bob Amaral (Dominic Barbarella), Scott Berman (Greasy Guy), Christopher Darden (Himself), James Gleason (Irish Priest), Len Lesser (Nick Pappasmearos, Jr.), Barry Livingston (Eric), Bill MacDonald (Reporter), Tyler Mane (Adolf Manson), Stephen Mendillo (Judge Howard Doody), Jack Riley (Chappy), Patrick Stack (Jury Forman), Dan Tullis, Jr. (Prison Guard), Anson Williams (Warden Jack Beatty), Robert Donavan (Guard)



43 :03x14 - Bad News, Mr. Johnson (3)

First aired: Oct/01/2002
Writer: Paul Ciancarelli, David DiPietro, James R. Stein, David Morgasen, Timothy Stack
Director: Tim Andrew
Guest star: Lee Majors (Colonel Seymore Kooze), Ian Ziering (Harry Johnson), Scott Berman ( Greasy Guy), Candace Kita (Reporter), James Gleason (Irish Priest), Deborah Lee Hall (Chip's Mootie), Len Lesser (Nick Pappasmearos, Jr.), Jon Lovitz (Father of B.J.'s Baby), David Morgasen (Professor Milosevic), Patrick T. O'Brien (Chip's Poopie), Jack Riley (Chappy), Barbara Roberts (Aunt Jizzy), Robert Stephen Ryan (Professor Milosevic), Lynne Marie Stewart (Ellen), Shannon Welles (Nun)