Tess: Jennifer's boyfriend used to say "Robert" in his sleep... and now he sleeps with Robert!

Henry: Why would he go all the way back to the warehouse?
Ian: Because he wants to get caught. That's what killers do. You know that -- you're a killer.

Ian: Good God, Henry! If you'd ever been in the army, your own men woulda held you down and dry-shaved you!

Ian: I thought we ordered chicken wings.
Maddie: Wings are for when you're drunk. Soup is for when you're sick.
Jake: That's what my mom used to say. Boy, she loved her wings!

Maddie: Didn't your mother ever comfort you when you were sick?
Henry: Yeah, of course. She was very loving. She used to sing to me over the intercom.

Henry: I'm going to go and read these pages in a more hygienic setting... like the bathroom of a Greyhound Bus.

Audrey: While other publishers are lunching with Mailer an Updike, I'll be debating whether a toaster would actually say, "I've got bread in my head."

Henry: Audrey, could I come along to lunch? I would love to meet the man who wrote Ants in France Wear Pants When They Dance.
Audrey: Good, because I'd love to drink and drink 'til I can't think.

Phyllis: So how about that check?
Audrey: Yes, why cloud the moment with warmth and civility?

Ian: You hugged the world's greatest children's author to death!
Henry: I didn't kill anybody.
Ian: You didn't use a gun or knife but surely, sir, you took his life.

Ian: If you hadn't let him get so near ya, he wouldn't have died from your bacteria.

Ian: No one's denied the man has died. His death is surely bonafide. But you must confide, he wouldn't have died if you hadn't committed homicide.

Audrey: I'm never gonna get that advance check back!
Henry: Audrey, this really isn't the day to be thinking about money.
Audrey: Tell that to the widow Huggles -- she cashed the damn thing this morning.
Henry: The day of her husband's funeral?
Audrey: You should have seen that line of cars with their lights on outside the bank!

Obviously, Professor Huggles was Stark's stab at Dr. Seuss.

Phyllis Bleck says of her husband, Thomas (aka Professor Huggles), "He's 'Bleck,' like me." This is a play on words referring to the famous novel, Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin.