Maddie: I'm screwed... This guy invited me to a dinner party.
Henry: What's the problem?
Maddie: Lobster tail.
Henry: He has a lobster tail?
Maddie: Yes, Henry, he has a lobster tail. He has to buy special pants!
Maddie: He's all excited 'cuz it's one of those deals where they send live lobsters from Maine by overnight mail.
Henry: Oooh, that's a horrible day. Not only do you get dropped into a pot of boiling water, but you have to go to the airport.
Ian: I had a little problem for a while, so I went to a hypnotist.
Maddie: Did it help?
Ian: Oh, it worked so well, I became completely and utterly fascinated with hypnosis. I studied it; I read everything I could find. I bought tapes, took seminars, practiced on my friends, you name it.
Henry: What was your little problem?
Ian: Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Maddie: Ian's gonna hypnotize me.
Jake: Yeah, to do what? Quit smokin'? Lose weight? Stop sleeping with losers?
Maddie: I don't smoke, I'm not fat and I don't... Can you help me out with that too?
[Still-hypnotized Jake and Tess disappear]
Ian: They just think they're Romeo and Juliet. What's the worst that can happen?
Henry: Well, they could have sex and kill themselves.
Ian: We should prob'ly go look for them.
Ian: Just think. Jake and Tess together. Where would they go?
Henry: Well, let's see. All we need is a strip joint that sells designer shoes.
Maddie: Wait a minute! I saw the movie [Romeo and Juliet].
Henry: What happened?
Maddie: I don't know. I got bored halfway through and walked into the other theatre. All I remember is Claire Danes falls in love and then Harrison Ford says, "Get off my plane!"
Maddie claims that she walked out of one movie theatre that was screening "Romeo and Juliet" and into the next, which was showing "Six Days Seven Nights." It must have been one helluva walk. "Six Days..." was released in 1998 -- two years after "Romeo and Juliet," which was released in 1996.