Recap
Lionel is at the park having lunch and reading a Mark Savage mystery. A boy, Joey, steals his alarm clock and runs off, and Lionel gives chase. When he finally catches Joey, the boy claims that Lionel hit him, and the local picnickers stare. Lionel pulls Joey away and tries to convince him not to steal. When the boy breaks into tears and claims he hasn't eaten for two days and his mother abandoned him, Lionel gives him money in return for a promise not steal...
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Episode Quotes
(discussing Lionel)
Mike "Scoop" McGill: What is he, stupid?
E.L.: No, I used to think that, too, but the man has a thing called principles.
Mike "Scoop" McGill: He's stupid.
E.L.: No, no. It's very, very close to being stupid, but it's not the same thing.
Lionel: Stop it! I don't want to hear another word!
E.L.: All I was trying to do was save your business.
Lionel: Save it? With deceptions and con games and lies?
E.L.: No, with money.
Lionel: Maybe we could solve this case.
E.L.: Yeah.
Lionel: Maybe we could, as the saying goes, "catching the bad guys."
E.L.: Maybe we could, as the saying goes, "catching a permanent case of rigor mortis."