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Blackadder :: Captain Cook (04x01)
 
Episode Information
  
Title: Captain Cook
Episode #: 04x01
Original Airdate: Thursday September 28th, 1989
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Episode Crew
Director: Richard Boden
Writer: Ben Elton
Richard Curtis (1)
 
Episode Summary
  
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Captain Blackadder begins to suspect that they're about to go over the top of the trenches for a big push against the Germans. When General Melchett summons Blackadder, he's told about a position as an army artist; Blackadder sees it as a golden opportunity.
 
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Guest Stars
  
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Main Cast
  
•Rowan AtkinsonplayedPrince Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh / Lord Edmund Blackadder / Edmund Blackadder, Esq. / Captain Edmund Blackadder
•Tony RobinsonplayedBaldrick, son of Robin the Dung Gatherer / Baldrick / S. Baldrick / Private S. Baldrick
•Tim McInnernyplayedLord Percy Percy, Duke of Northumberland / Lord Percy Percy, heir to the Duchy of Northumberland / Captain Kevin Darling
•Stephen FryplayedLord Melchett / General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett
•Hugh LaurieplayedGeorge, Prince of Wales and the Prince Regent / Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Bartleigh
 
Episode Notes
  
Stephen Fry (General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett) and Tim McInnerny (Captain Kevin Darling) rejoin the regular cast in this episode.
 
 
Episode Quotes
  
George: Tally Ho, pip pip and Bernard's your uncle!
Blackadder: In English, we say "good morning."
George: Look what I got for you, sir!
Blackadder: What?
George: It's the latest Issue of King and Country. Oh! Damn inspiring stuff! The magazine that tells the Tommies the truth about the war.
Blackadder: Or alternatively, the greatest work of fiction since vows of fidelity were included in the French marriage service.
 
Blackadder: Baldrick, what are you doing out there?
Baldrick: (from outside) I'm carving something on this bullet, sir.
Blackadder: What are you carving?
Baldrick: (coming in) I'm carving "Baldrick", sir.
Blackadder: Why?
Baldrick: It's a cunning plan actually.
Blackadder: Of course it it.
Baldrick: You see, you know they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?
Blackadder: Yeeeees.
Baldrick: Well I thought if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'd never get hit by it, 'cause, I won't ever shoot myself --
Blackadder: Oh, shame.
Baldrick: And, the chances of there being two bullets with my name on them are very small indeed.
 
General Melchett: There is, however, one small problem.
Blackadder: That everyone always gets slaughtered in the first ten seconds?
General Melchett: That's right. And Field Marshall Haig is worried that this may be depressing the men a tad. So, he's looking to find a way to cheer them up.
Blackadder: Well, his resignation and suicide would seem the obvious suggestion.
General Melchett: Interesting thought. Make a note of it, Darling.
 
General Melchett: Are you looking forward to the big push?
Baldrick: No sir, I'm absolutely terrified.
General Melchett: The healthy humor of the honest Tommy. Don't worry my boy, if you should falter, remember that Captain Darling and I are behind you.
Blackadder: About thirty-five miles behind you.
 
General Melchett: (to Baldrick) Ah, tally-ho, yippety-dip and zing zang spillip! Looking forward to bullying off for the final chukka?
Blackadder: Permission to speak.
(Baldrick is silent)
Blackadder: Answer the General, Baldrick!
Baldrick: (whispers) I can't answer him, sir, I don't know what he's talking about.
 
George: Oh, sir, if we should happen to tread on a mine, what do we do?
Blackadder: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump up 200 feet into the air and scatter yourself over a wide area.
 
Blackadder: My instincts lead me to deduce that we are at last about to go over the top.
George: Great Scott, sir! You mean . . . you mean the moment's finally arrived for us to give Harry Hun a darn good British style thrashing, six of the best, trousers down!?
Blackadder: If you mean, 'are we all going to get killed,' yes. Apparently Field Marshal Haig is about to make yet another gargantuan effort to move his drinks cabinet six inches closer to Berlin.
 
Blackadder: Now, where the hell are we?
George: Well, it's difficult to say, we appear to have crawled
into an area marked with mushrooms.
Blackadder: (patiently) What do those symbols denote?
George: Pfff. That we're in a field of mushrooms?
Blackadder: Lieutenant, that is a military map, it is unlikely to list interesting flora and fungi. Look at the key and you'll
discover that those mushrooms aren't for picking.
George: Good Lord, you're quite right sir, it says "mine". So, these mushrooms must belong to the man who made the map.
Blackadder: Either that, or we're in the middle of a mine-field.
Baldrick: Oh dear.
George: So, he owns the field as well?
 
George: Row row row your boat!
General Melchett: Gently down the stream!
George and General Melchett: Belts off, trousers down, isn't life a scream?!
(Both men grunt and do a pelvic thrust)
Blackadder: The wonders of a university education.
 
Blackadder: Tell me sir, have you ever seen the work "Bag Interior" by the Colour Bline Hedghogs?
 
 
Episode References
  
Baldrick: For years us Baldricks have tried to come up with plans, but they have always turned out to be total pig swill.

Here Baldrick is talking about the many times throughout the first three seasons where he has come up with a bad plan
 
 
Featured Songs
  
 
 
Episode Goofs
  
 
 
Cultural References
  
 
 
Analysis
  
 
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