This episode opens with Raymond and Patricia getting on their bikes outside some shops. Just then, a gang of students rushes by shouting wildly and carrying collection tins. This – of course – perturbs Raymond, but Patricia reminds him that they’re just college kids having a laugh, and that it is
rag week after all. When they get to the station, they’re in the midst of a disagreement: Pat thinks their home life is boring, but Raymond disagrees and thinks its full of life and excitement.
Over to Grim, who’s bemoaning the fact that his caseload contains only juvenile delinquents.
Grim continues that he had dreams of being a copper and arresting real criminals, such as bank robbers.
In the next room, Raymond is having his morning meeting with his officers, and today’s topic is rag week, and how to deal with the juvenile excesses in the week to come. After a long drawn out conversation, which uses the word ‘excess’ and it’s various inflected forms too excessively, we can come to the conclusion that the officers are not to act to harshly towards them.
Grim, still upset and bemoaning his luck, is brought something that sends him flying. He brings the matter to the uniform branch since he may need their assistance with the matter. It’s a terrorist threat by a group called St. Neduts who proclaim autonomy for their state, Egelloc. What’s more, they threaten Gasforth with a deadly substance called ‘dratsuc’. Grim suspects some Celtic separatist movement from a group such as the Welsh, Scots, Cornish, or Geordies. When asked what Grim believes the deadly substance is, he says his ‘informed guess is some kind of 'syntex' style explosive. Fowler, however, has already cracked the puzzle and shows how the three words are merely spelled backwards, ‘students’ (the group), ‘college’ (the autonomous state), and ‘custard’ (the deadly substance). With egg on his face, Grim brushes it off and makes it out to be a test for Fowler.
After the meeting Raymond and Patricia have a chat in which she reminds him to go to the bank at lunch, [lanchor=sag]as well as the shape of her body[/anchor]. Then later, in his office, while he’s trying to enjoy a chocolate frog and get some reading in, Dawkins again reminds him of the need to go to the bank, or else the telly will be repossessed. He feels bad for being such an old ‘stick-in-the-mud’, but he can’t really help it. Their conversation turns sexual for a moment, and at that moment Gladstone walks in. There is an embarrassed cover-up by Raymond, but it’s too transparent. Nevertheless, Gladstone leaves immediately, claiming he heard nothing.
In the meantime, Grim and Kray have swarmed down upon the local college, where Grim wants handwriting samples from every student. Kray, however, is more interested in pulling a college cutie.
Raymond finally goes to the bank, and who should end up behind him in the queue? Goody. He annoys him Raymond by chatting his ear off non-stop. Also while waiting, Raymond spies Kray cutting in via his police badge. Fowler reprimands him for abusing his authority, but Kray doesn’t seem to bothered. When Fowler finally returns to the station and tells Pat that he didn’t get anything done at the bank, she is absolutely livid. She yells at him, calling him an idiot and pompous, and storms out of the station to do it herself.
Then Grim comes in with a gang of masked students, and tells Habib to book them. Grim leaves them in Fowler’s care, who gives the students a lecture as punishment. He then informs Grim that he’s dealt with them. Grim then tells him that he’s tired of police work. As ‘luck’ would have it, on Raymond’s radio comes Dawkins’ voice, telling him there is a hold up at the bank. Grim is ecstatic and gets things organized.
The bank is surrounded, and a stand-off ensues. The bank robbers then demand a pizza. Grim demands Fowler gets them the pizza, and in turn, Fowler tells Goody. When he sees the S.W.A.T. team moving in, however, Fowler decides to take matters into his own hands. Next we see that he has taken the pizza man’s clothes and is acting as the delivery man himself in order to infiltrate the bank. Once inside, he sees three people all wearing simian masks, not dissimilar to the ones the students Grim brought in were wearing. So similar in fact, that Raymond believes them to be students and talks down to them, chastising them for being foolish enough to undertake such a prank. The robbers, unwilling to kill a police officer – or two since Dawkins announces her presence – they give themselves up. The siege ended without bloodshed. Raymond is shell-shocked to learn that the perpetrators were not students; Grim was envious, but respectful of what Fowler had accomplished; and the bank manager was more than relieved of the result, and asks Fowler if there is anything he can do for him. Fowler begins to say that a police officer needs no reward, but Dawkins interjects that they would like to get their bank business finished, but the manager declares the bank has already been closed for 3 minutes. Share this article with your friends