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The Thin Blue Line
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| Title: | Kids Today |
| Episode Number: | 6 |
| Season: | 1 |
| Season Episode #.: | 6 |
| Original Airdate: | Monday December 18th, 1995 |
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There's a chance for the police station to make a presentation on child crime (at the sub-district regional police conference), only Fowler and Grim have vastly different views on that. Raymond wants to rehabilitate them based on a camping trip, whereas Derek believes an undercover operation is in order to nab them in the act. Whose plan will go down best?
| There are no foreign summaries for this episode
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| Fowler: The traditional truncheon is perfectly adequate. Personally, I've always felt more than satisfied with 14 inches hanging down inside my trouser leg.
| (Talking about graffiti at a staff meeting)
Habib: Isn't it just a vibrant and contemporary form of youth expression?
Fowler: No, it's a bunch of nasty little yobs scribbling on walls.
| Grim: (To Fowler) Look, I'm not having you disgracing this station with load of wishy-washy, didums, half-cock, up your social worker, foldy roll, blame it on society, psycho-sicko-socio-clap-trap crap.
| (Dawkins is talking to someone brought in to be charged)
Dawkins: Ok, sir, let's see your driving licence.
Man: Um, do you have any idea who my father is?
Dawkins: I'm afraid I can't help you on that one, sir. Have you tried asking your mother?
| Grim: . . . this is a very important operation. Now, it's my ass, and if you stuff it, I'm going to end up very red in the face.
| Grim: (To Kray and Crockett) You two will have to play the part of brain-dead, juvenile morons. You know, I'd probably be better off using some of Fowler's lot. Did you hear that? Kray?
Kray: Yeah.
Grim: I said a good one. I said, I'd probably be better off –
Kray: Yeah . . . brilliant, sir. Try not to be too hilarious, I've only got one pair of these trousers.
| Kray: Do ya know what? There's only one way to deal with it. You put the maternity hospitals inside the juvenile detention centres.
Grim: What, out of the mum and into the cell?
Kray: Yeah. (Chuckles)
Grim: That's a very good idea Kray. I may suggest that to the home secretary.
| Fowler: It makes me sad to see these children today, with their drugs and sex and music. They'll never know the joy a young lad can have, sitting alone in his room, with his tool in his hand, tightening his little nuts.
| Kray: Do you wanna know something?
Dawkins: No.
Kray: Ten years from now, there won't be a woman on the force, and do you know why? Women's lib.
Dawkins: Oh, yeah? And how do you work that out, then?
Kray: Women have babies, right? But you can't sack 'em, 'cos if you do – bosh – 200 grand compensation.
Dawkins: I don't see why a woman should lose her job for performing an essential function of existence.
Kray: That's fine! Except your average villain objects to be interviewed by a copper with leaky nipples. Catch 22, innit? Can't do the job, can't be sacked. Answer: don't take 'em on in the first place.
Habib: Not all women want babies, anyway.
Kray: All women want babies! They say they don't, then bang, they turn 30 and suddenly it's, 'quick, put a bun in me oven before me gas runs out!'
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| When Grim pulls up to the house to 'siege' it, only to find out that Raymond has taken the youngsters camping, the car is in one position upon arriving, and another upon leaving.
| Brigadier Blast Sump chases everyone away by lifting his kilt, and the equipment is all left behind, but then we see they have all the equipment in the next scene. Did they go back for it?
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| Goody: . . . and really cool riot gear like they have on Robocop.
Robocop, the 1987, Paul Verhoeven classic trilogy, features a futuristic and violent police force.
| Habib: Tell him we want those long truncheons like they have on N.Y.P.D. Blue.
N.Y.P.D. Blue was a long running American police drama, known for its gritty nature.
| Grim: Society is collapsing around our ears and Baden-Powell here calls for a chorus of Ging Gang Goolies.
- Robert Baden-Powell, 1857-1944, is the founder of Scouts.
- The song Ging Gang Goolie is a scout song: Listen and lyrics.
| Grim: We are discussing youth crime, which will not be solved by shoving a sausage on a stick and whistling Kumbaya.
Kumbaya is a 1930s Christian song written by Rev. Marvin V. Frey. It's often associated with Scouts and campfire songs.
| Fowler: I mean, I didn't need drink and drugs to have a good time when I was their age. I had Meccano! Ecstasy! Huh, I'll tell you what ecstasy is: completing a scale model of the Forth Bridge, that's what ecstasy is!
- Meccano is a toy set that includes many bits and pieces you can use to built things with.
- There are several 'Forth Bridge's, but more than likely Raymond refers to the railway 'Forth Bridge', which spans the Firth of Forth near Edinburgh, as seen here.
| Fowler: The boy has swastikas tattooed on his arms! What did you expect him to do, a chorus of 'Ebony and Ivory'?!
'Ebony and Ivory' is a duet – sung by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder for the former's 1982 album Tug of War – about racial harmony.
| Fowler: It is a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done.
This is the first half of the final sentence of Charles Dickens' Tale of Two Cities.
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