Trunk: Do you know a reporter by the name of Phil Gumm of Action News?
Hammer: I don't watch the news. I make it.
Trunk: You have put over a thousand men behind bars. God knows if any of them are guilty of anything.
Hammer: They looked guilty to me.
Trunk: Hammer, you don't seem to understand my dilemma. I've been fighting with the city hall for over two months now. They're talking about making cutbacks. The mayor is threatening this entire department. Do you understand what I am saying?
Hammer: You want me to kill the mayor.
Doreau: That man over there is a fiendish killer. Tied his dates to a magic fingers bed. Twelve women massaged to death.
Phil Gumm: How awful.
Doreau: Made the Ten Most Wanted List. Also made Cosmo's Bachelor of the Month.
Hammer: You know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to stick your head in that microwave and set it on "sandwich."
Doreau: Hammer, you can't do that.
Hammer: What? There's no setting for sandwich?
Trunk: You almost killed him!
Hammer: Ah, well, you see, the key word here of course is "almost." He's fine. I heard him screaming my name as the ambulance took him away.
Trunk: Hammer, is it your goal to make my life a living hell?
Hammer: I don't really have any goals, Captain. I just try to take things day by day.
Hammer: I'm suspended again, right?
Trunk: No, Hammer, you don't understand. You are fired, sacked, dumped, banished, terminated. You're out of here, you're history, that's a wrap.
Hammer: Just what are you getting at?
Hammer: I was born to do this. Listen, when I was a kid, I took a vocational aptitude test, right? They said I was best suited to be a cop. A cop! A cop or a gameshow host.
Doreau: Yeah, (the leftist militants) asked for a million dollars, a private plane, and an end to the Star Wars program.
Hammer: Yeah, well, three movies were enough.
Crowd: Go, Hammer! Go, Hammer! Go, Hammer!
Cops: Go, Hammer, go! Go, Hammer, go! Go, Hammer, go!
Trunk: Go, Bomb, go! Go, Bomb, go! (reluctantly) Go, Hammer, go. Go, Hammer, go.