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Sledge Hammer!: If I Had a Little Hammer

A hospital is broken into and all of the babies in the ward are stolen! Although unwilling, Trunk puts Hammer and Doreau on the case.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x10
Production Number: 109
Airdate: Saturday November 29th, 1986

Guest Stars
Michele MarshMichele Marsh
As Levina Robbins
Brion JamesBrion James
As Felix Dubrie
Dennis FimpleDennis Fimple
As Shy Eddie
Jeannie EliasJeannie Elias
As Mrs. Yates
Burton CollinsBurton Collins
As Mr. Yates

Co-Guest Stars
Margaret MuseMargaret Muse
As Mrs. Calder
Sherri StonerSherri Stoner
As Receptionist / Margaret
Pat AsantiPat Asanti
As Unknown
Julie MawsonJulie Mawson
As Unknown
Rebecca CruzRebecca Cruz
As Unknown
Gerry RandGerry Rand
As Unknown
Main Cast
David RascheDavid Rasche
As Det. Insp. Sledge Hammer
Anne-Marie MartinAnne-Marie Martin
As Officer Dori Doreau
Harrison PageHarrison Page
As Captain Trunk


A van marked Ridel Baby Supplies pulls up to a hospital delivery dock. The driver gets out and goes to the nursery. Meanwhile, head nurse Robbins tells the desk nurse to make her rounds. She goes to the nursery and finds all the babies missing...

Read the full recap
Episode Quotes
Hammer: I haven't seen so many unhappy faces since my wedding reception.

Hammer: This is a precinct, not an encounter group. If a man and a woman have problems, they should settle them the way my wife and I did, with a divorce.

Trunk: Hammer, have you no compassion for what those people are going through?
Hammer: Of course I do. I have suffered a sense of loss just like everyone else. I lost my luggage once. I was torn up about it for weeks.

Doreau: Captain, who could be behind such a despicable crime?
Trunk: Obviously a baby-selling ring, Doreau. Kind of back-alley racketeers who steal babies and sells them to childless couples for exorbitant sums.
Hammer: Kind of a mom-and-pop operation, huh?

Doreau: Captain, I request that Hammer and I be assigned this case.
Hammer: No wait, no whoa, no huh, no way, I don't do this. I'm in Homicide, I deal in scum-suckers, not thumb-suckers.

Trunk: Hammer, I have great trepidation about putting you on this case. The thought of you coming within five miles of a baby scare the hell out of me.
Hammer: Me too.

Doreau: What was your baby's name?
Mrs. Yates: Well, we were just about to find a name and then... he was stolen.
Hammer: How about "Rob"? I'm sorry, I don't know where my head's at.

Hammer: Wait, one last question. Did your child have any enemies?
Doreau: Hammer! It's a newborn baby. Newborn babies don't have enemies.
Hammer: I did.

Hammer: Doreau, what are you doing? Cops can't go around making promises they can't keep. That right is reserved for the President.

Doreau: I always assumed you were the one who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant.
Hammer: Are you kidding? I encourage women to wear shoes.

Hammer: And I strongly urge you parents to discipline this child starting today. Constant spankings are the reason I turned out all right.

Hammer: What are you doing? Sleeping on the job is for air traffic controllers, not cops.

Receptionist: Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Hammer. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with Mrs. Calder.
Hammer: Why is that?
Receptionist: I was listening in.

(to Doreau)
Hammer: I can't believe I'm letting a common slimeball into my apartment. Bad enough that you're here.

Hammer: Nurse Robbins. I knew you were behind this.
Robbins: When did you figure it out?
Hammer: When you walked in just now.

Cultural References
Title parodies the 1949 song If I Had a Hammer by Pete Seeger and Lee Hays.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorAlan Spencer
Executive ProducerWilliam P. D'Angelo
ProducerAlan Spencer
Co-ProducerRobert Birnbaum
Associate ProducerByron Chudnow
Production DesignerAlex Hajdu
EditorPeter White (4)
CastingBarbara Hanley  |  Cathy Henderson
Unit Production ManagerRobert Birnbaum
First Assistant DirectorMary Ellen Canniff
Second Assistant DirectorGlen Sanford
Costume DesignerNancy Fox
HairstylistJay Wellington
Make-upJune Brickman
Key GripDylan Shephard
Camera OperatorJack Lester
Location ManagerMichael Casey (1)
Transportation CoordinatorRick Rollison
Property MasterTommy Estridge
Script SupervisorPatricia Depew
Production CoordinatorNancy Rosing
GafferWalter Stewart (2)
OtherBetty Martin Mallin (Production Controller)
Director of PhotographyNorman Leigh
Story EditorJim Fisher (1)  |  Jim Staahl  |  Tino Insana  |  Al Jean  |  Mert Rich  |  Brian Pollack  |  Mike Reiss
Stunt CoordinatorEd Ulrich
Art DirectorGregory Melton
Creative ConsultantLeonard Stern
Sound EditorTom Koester
Special EffectsChuck Dolan
Main Title ThemeDanny Elfman
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