Hammer: I haven't seen so many unhappy faces since my wedding reception.
Hammer: This is a precinct, not an encounter group. If a man and a woman have problems, they should settle them the way my wife and I did, with a divorce.
Trunk: Hammer, have you no compassion for what those people are going through?
Hammer: Of course I do. I have suffered a sense of loss just like everyone else. I lost my luggage once. I was torn up about it for weeks.
Doreau: Captain, who could be behind such a despicable crime?
Trunk: Obviously a baby-selling ring, Doreau. Kind of back-alley racketeers who steal babies and sells them to childless couples for exorbitant sums.
Hammer: Kind of a mom-and-pop operation, huh?
Doreau: Captain, I request that Hammer and I be assigned this case.
Hammer: No wait, no whoa, no huh, no way, I don't do this. I'm in Homicide, I deal in scum-suckers, not thumb-suckers.
Trunk: Hammer, I have great trepidation about putting you on this case. The thought of you coming within five miles of a baby scare the hell out of me.
Hammer: Me too.
Doreau: What was your baby's name?
Mrs. Yates: Well, we were just about to find a name and then... he was stolen.
Hammer: How about "Rob"? I'm sorry, I don't know where my head's at.
Hammer: Wait, one last question. Did your child have any enemies?
Doreau: Hammer! It's a newborn baby. Newborn babies don't have enemies.
Hammer: I did.
Hammer: Doreau, what are you doing? Cops can't go around making promises they can't keep. That right is reserved for the President.
Doreau: I always assumed you were the one who thought women should be barefoot and pregnant.
Hammer: Are you kidding? I encourage women to wear shoes.
Hammer: And I strongly urge you parents to discipline this child starting today. Constant spankings are the reason I turned out all right.
Hammer: What are you doing? Sleeping on the job is for air traffic controllers, not cops.
Receptionist: Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Hammer. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with Mrs. Calder.
Hammer: Why is that?
Receptionist: I was listening in.
Hammer: I can't believe I'm letting a common slimeball into my apartment. Bad enough that you're here.
Hammer: Nurse Robbins. I knew you were behind this.
Robbins: When did you figure it out?
Hammer: When you walked in just now.