A cat burglar breaks into a luxurious manor. At home, Sledge Hammer receives a call from his old contact, Kurt Kruggle. Kruggle has information on the cat burglar who shot a cop, but doesn't want to sell his info over the phone. He arranges a meeting with Hammer at a bowling alley and Hammer goes there with Doreau. Kruggle rolls them instructions in the finger hole of a bowling ball, telling them to roll his payment down and he'll send the information back. Hammer rolls the ball and forgets to roll it in the gutter, knocking down Kruggle. Kruggle rolls him back the info but Hammer gets his finger stuck in a woman's bowling ball...Read the full recap
Kruggle: Listen, Hammer, I've got some information for you about that cat burglar, the one who's pulling off all those jewel robberies.
Hammer: Hey, listen, forget it, okay. It's a sissy case.
Kruggle: Oh yeah? Well, uh, he's suspected of shooting a cop.
Hammer: There's a cat burglar who shot a cop. Now I'm mildly enraged.
Doreau: Where's Kruggle?
Hammer: He likes to keep a low profile, ever since he was romantically linked with Joan Rivers.
Commissioner Holbestam: Hammer, what do you have behind your back?
Hammer: What? Oh, the bowling ball. Well, actually, there's a very simple explanation.
Trunk: Yeah, he's found a new way to harm others.
Doreau: I've got an idea.
Hammer: Well, now you're starting to think like a man.
Doreau: Why don't you get your hair done?
Hammer: You disappoint me, Doreau. I'm a nihilist, not a stylist.
Sir Guy: Well, anything for a fellow countryman.
Hammer: Right, right. God save the King.
Sir Guy: Queen.
Hammer: Don't confuse me.
Sir Guy: Cheerio.
Hammer: Rice Krispie.
Hammer: It's a very simple plan, sir.
Trunk: Well if you thought of it, it's got to be simple at best.
Doreau: Little snag? You've never broken into a house before.
Hammer: Yeah, well before I shot a man I never shot a man. So what does that prove? Trust me: I know what I'm doing!