Robin Leach: Good evening, I'm Robin Leach. The producers of Sledge Hammer! have asked me to explain tonight's episode. Let me be frank, it is an attempt to boost the ratings. There are many ways to do this. Better scripts, more warmth, and big-name guest stars. But we're desperate. So in tonight's episode, we're going to rely on four sure-fire ratings grabbers. Sex, violence, rock music, and, best of all, a cliff hanger ending that will keep our viewers glued to the edge of their seats until next season, thus ensuring there will be a next season. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
Trunk: Hammer, I must congratulate you on apprehending those bank robbers. I just can't believe that you were able to get them to surrender their weapons by reading aloud from the collected works of Rob McKuen.
Doreau: It's great.
Hammer: You know, some of them were weeping openly. The truth is, poetry is more effective than tear gas.
General: Who is this man?
Hammer: Reporting for duty, sir. Inspector Sledge Hammer. (holds up gun) And this is my platoon.
Hammer: A bunch of women with a lethal warhead. Just look at all the damage they can do with one credit card.
Officer Daley: Inspector Hammer, they're about to tow your car away.
Hammer: What do you mean? That was a legal parking spot once I knocked the sign down.
Officer Daley: Well, yeah, but you parked on a suspect.
Hammer: Uhh, well he was guilty.
Doreau: A suspect, Hammer. Innocent until proven guilty.
Hammer: Is that new?
Hammer: "Jill Taylor's Housewife Fitness Program," "Jill Taylor's Expectant Mother's Program," "The Divorced Woman's Program." Got anything for me? (receptionist hands him a tape) "The Blonde Fascist Pig Program." Ah.
Hammer: Listen, lady, I'm a man. I can do anything you can do. Except conceive.
Jill Taylor: Inspector, I have hundreds of clients. I don't have time to keep tabs on every single one. Do you know the whereabouts of all the criminals you've ever dealt with?
Hammer: Yeah. The cemetery.
Trunk: I knew this would happen. I knew it would happen, I could see it coming. It was inevitable. Hammer, you get involved in a case and suddenly it's the end of the world.
Hammer: Well, look at the bright side, Captain. The whole city full of crooks is getting the death penalty.
Doreau: Oh, Hammer, I guess this is the end of a good team.
Hammer: Yeah, I'm really going to miss my gun. And you too, Doreau. And Dori... I'm one tough cop, right?
Doreau: Yeah, Sledge, yeah.
(after Hammer blows up the city)