Abbie: What's wrong with your face?
Sheriff August Corbin: My face is expressive. Age is the price of wisdom.
Abbie: What you got this time?
Sheriff August Corbin: Unsolved homicide in Dobb's Ferry. Might be able to help the IO run a few leads. But you don't need to worry about that. Now that you're leaving and all.
Abbie: You know, some people, when they read the paper, they relax. They're off the clock.
Corbin: My clock has its own schedule
Sheriff August Corbin: Don't you find it odd, all of the unsolved cases around here? I mean you, of all people.
Abbie: Stop. I know what you're doing. You are drinking too much coffee, you've been strange enough as it is.
Abbie: How do you know that?
Ichabod: Oh no, no no no, it can't be.
Abbie: Hey. Who is he, when's the last time you saw him?
Ichabod: When I cut off his head.
Polygrapher: Now tell me your name and where you're from.
Ichabod: My name is Ichabod Crane. I was a professor of history at Merton College, Oxford, when I was enlisted in the Queen's Royal Regiment and sent to the American colonies to fight the patriots. It didn't take long for me to have a change of heart and I defected.
Polygrapher: You're saying you're a... spy?
Ichabod: I'm saying the rule of tyranny betrayed the weight of my conscience and I couldn't allow myself to give my life for anything less. So, yes, I became a spy under the command of General Washington.
Polygrapher: General George Washington?
Ichabod: Do you know him?
Polygrapher: Tell me about the Horseman. Would you admit cutting off his head, yes or no?
Ichabod: No. First I shot him, then he rose back up. Beheading him seemed the next logical step.
Ichabod: Now I have questions, several thousand questions, but I'll spare you the indignity of strapping you to a damn chair. Now where am I?!
Polygrapher: The question isn't where, but when. The good news is you won the war, the bad news is... it was 250 years ago. Welcome to the 21st century, Mr. Crane.
Abbie: Before you send him to the psych unit, may I have a chance to interrogate him myself?
Irving: Absolutely not.
Abbie: He described the appearance of the man that I saw in perfect detail.
Irving: He described a man with no head. Would you like to corroborate that, Lieutenant?
Abbie: No, sir.
Abbie: Mr. Crane, I'm Lieutenant Abbie Mills.
Ichabod: A female lieutenant. In whose army?
Abbie: You're not gonna break character, huh?
Ichabod: You've been emancipated, I take it?
Abbie: Excuse me?
Ichabod: From enslavement.
Abbie: Okay. I'll play along here. I am a black female lieutenant for the Westchester County Police Department. Do you see this gun? I'm authorized to use it. On you.
Ichabod: If you're insinuating I endorse slavery, I'm offended.
Abbie: Wait, back up. You're offended?
Ichabod: I'll have you know I was a proponent of the Abolitionist Act before the New York Assembly.
Abbie: Congratulations. Slavery has been abolished 150 years. It's a whole new day in America.
Ichabod: Um. Well, I'm pleased to hear it. I on the other hand remain shackled here.
Ichabod: It can't be mere coincidence that he and I arrive in the place at exactly the same time.
Abbie: That isn't possible.
Ichabod: Oh, really? Oh, well, that's wonderful news. Thank you for the clarification. Here I thought I'd actually awoken in the future and that my wife had been dead for 250 years. I'm glad that everything I'm seeing and hearing and touching is impossible, because that means it isn't actually happening.
Abbie: I have orders to take you to a mental institution.
Ichabod: Excellent. This day continues to bear gifts. Will we be sharing a cell, Leftenant?
Ichabod: That building used to be a livery stables.
Abbie: Yeah? Well, now it's a Starbucks. Where they make coffee.
Ichabod: And that building is also a Starbucks?
Ichabod: Well, how many are there?
Abbie: Per block?
Ichabod: Is there a law?
Abbie: Two hundred and fifty years, huh? Civil War didn't wake you? Noisy neighbors to the south. Did you get up to pee? Don't know about you, but I'm getting up to pee every 75, 80 years.
Ichabod: Are you quite finished? Because most of what you say is unintelligible gibberish to me. It's like watching a chicken cluck. And when did it become acceptable for ladies to wear trousers?
Ichabod: When I beheaded him, that man didn't die. Because he was never a man at all. He is Death itself, Leftenant, and somehow... he has returned to Sleepy Hollow to finish what he started.
Irving: Who the hell would decapitate a reverend? This is supposed to be a nice quiet town. You got rosebushes on every damn block.
Abbie: I told you to stay in the car.
Ichabod: Yet as you know, I am insane and therefore impervious to simple commands.
(facing the Horseman)
Sleepy Hollow Officer #2: Put the weapon down! Put your hands on your...
Sleepy Hollow Officer #1: What the hell is that?
Sleepy Hollow Officer #2: Do it now!
Sleepy Hollow Officer #1: Do you think he can hear us? I mean...
Sleepy Hollow Officer #2: How the hell should I know?
Irving: I ought to throw you in jail. Except I have a preserved head in a pickle jar and two cops who just backed up your story. Not to mention a confession from Brooks, who says he'll plea bargain, but only if he talks to you and Captain America here.
Sheriff August Corbin: And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, "Come and see." Then, behold, a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.