Some Asian women want to move to the USA and pay to be shipped to Malibu Adjacent. They believe that they will pay off the transportation bill through working in a sweatshop, but will instead be forced to work in a brothel. One of these Asian women runs into Notch Johnson, and he decides to try to help them. Meanwhile, Mayor Anita Massengil decides to get rid of the thorn in her side, the man holding back her political career. She sends Kimberlee Clark undercover to try to get Notch Johnson.
An eco-terrorist is terrorizing Malibu Adjacent, forcing Notch Johnson to close down the beach. The Mayor is annoyed both because this is trying to turn Malibu Adjacent into a great place for college students to spend their Spring Break, and because it is the annual Crabapalooza time.
The college students arrive, and some are adversely affected by the toxic radiation waste released into the ocean by the eco-terrorist. Meanwhile, one of the college students makes a bet that he can get B.J. Cummings to sleep with him.
Jamaica’s old gang pays a visit to the beach, and The Bird demands that Jamaica make a drug run for him. As incentive, he won’t kill Montego Bay, Jamaica’s relative, if Jamaica makes the run. Notch tries to save the day by taking Jamaica’s place and making the two mile swim. Meanwhile, Chip Rommel enters the Mr. Pec pageant. Mayor Anita Massengil is the judge at the event and tries to blackmail Rommel into sleeping with her.
Notch must try to help his native American tribal land when Chief Pokemon dies. A casino corporation wants to build a casino on Kahonee Tribe land. The casino representative seduces the mayor into agreeing to the deal.
Meanwhile, Chip Rommel’s relatives living in South America need money, and Chip’s fresh out of spare cash. Many methods are tried to come up with some cash, including becoming a male stripper in his spare time.
Reverend Ralph Green stops by and offers his organizations political support to Mayor Anita Massengil if she would do something about the wearing of thongs on the beaches of Malibu Adjacent. Always eager for support, the Mayor goes along with his request and bans the wearing of thongs on the beach (dress code requirement imposed, certain length of material required). The Mayor orders Notch Johnson and his lifeguards to enforce the new law. Johnson shows his support for thong-wearers by revealing his own thong.
Meanwhile, B.J. Cummings has a heart-felt reunion with her never meet, and somewhat denying the existence of father, Reverend Ralph Green.
Even more meanwhile, a small boy goes missing after trying to find the nude beach. Dad is upset and worried.
One of Notch's former lifeguard buddies suddenly turns up, barely able to move, but super-intelligent. Professor Milosevic, that lifeguard buddy, has spent a rather large amount of time creating some robot lifeguards (Julia, Louis, and Dreyfuss), and for one reason or another, the Mayor has decided to replace the current human lifeguards with the robots. Notch's group of humans are given the chance to compete with the robots for the right to be Malibu Adjacent's lifeguards.
An old friend of B.J. Cummings turns up and gives her a pamphlet for an organization that she has joined. Feeling down, B.J. decides to check this organization out. B.J. comes under the influence of The Devine Rod and his cult or very attractive, barely clothed women (and Mark Hamill as The Devine Rod).
The beach will have to be closed because of a huge storm wave that will hit Malibu Adjacent (though no one seems to leave). The mayor, spotting an opportunity, orders Notch to ride the big one. He is quite frightened of the prospect, though, because he lost his dad the last time a wave this big came by (dad, Big Red Johnson, tried to ride the Miso Honei wave and was lost at sea). An old enemy of Notch's, Adolf Manson, who is now in prison because of Notch, is released from prison by the Mayor so that Adolf can ride the big wave. The local children look up to this psychopath and Notch realizes that he must try to ride the wave or risk losing the children.
The President of Humidor, President Seymour Wences, rides up to Malibu Adjacent to visit the great revolutionary Notch Johnson. The President needs the services of Johnson, so he heads south to Humidor, to try to keep that country a democracy.
Meanwhile, fearing that Notch might need their help, or if not that they might be able to visit the great spas, the three female lifeguards head off to Humidor.
Even more meanwhile, Roland is left in charge of the beach, and is offered the chance by the mayor, to instruct some young children how to become lifeguards.
Malibu Adjacent holds a peace conference between Africa and Asia, and Notch Johnson briefly heads the security forces assigned to protect the delegates.
Meanwhile, an old military buddy of Notch's turns up, a Captain "Buck" Enteneille, who just happened to be visiting, or is he?
Even more meanwhile, Jamaica St. Croix dates one of the delegates sons, a Prince Vidor.
A movie is in the process of being filmed in and near Malibu Adjacent. The lead actress, Regina Streep, has been receiving a series of death threats, and attempts, and Notch ends up becoming her bodyguard, and date.
An almost mythical creature, the Cocktopuss, wanders ashore and befriends B.J. Meanwhile, some prize money has been made available to anyone that captures a Cocktopuss. The mayor, spotting a political opportunity, has the Cocktopuss captured (therefore keeping the money for the city), and puts the Cocktopuss on display. B.J. and the rest of the lifeguards try to figure out some way to help this Cocktopuss.
Some mobsters start to try to take over Malibu Adjacent, after having been kicked out of their last place of abode. Notch Johnson, and his crew, try to stop the mafia from completing their take-over of Malibu Adjacent.
Notch and the gang go to Israel to visit sister city Tel Aviv Adjacent. Notch is kidnapped by HUMMUS, a terrorist group, and it is up to the girls to rescue him.
Heinous Anus uses a machine to capture boys off of the Malibu Adjacent beach and take them to an alternate dimension.