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Tenspeed and Brown Shoe: Tenspeed and Brown Shoe

E.L. "Tenspeed" Turner is a conman who has just gotten out of prison. Hard up, he decides to rip off the Mob for a million dollars, only to discover that the mobsters got the money by fencing Nazi diamonds. Meanwhile, stockbroker Lionel Whitney is reluctantly preparing to marry his fiance Bunny, and E.L. hides the diamonds in Lionel's limo.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x0
Airdate: Sunday January 27th, 1980
Special Runtime: 120 Minutes

Guest Stars
Robert Webber (1)Robert Webber (1)
As Herman LaCross
Jayne MeadowsJayne Meadows
As Ruth LaCross
Richard RomanusRichard Romanus
As Tommy Tedesco
John HarkinsJohn Harkins
As Colonel Kurt Beuler
Simone GriffethSimone Griffeth
As Bunny LaCross
Larry ManettiLarry Manetti
As Chip Vincent
A.C. WearyA.C. Weary
As Fred Platt
Luke AndreasLuke Andreas
As Little Mo
Robyn DouglassRobyn Douglass
As Martha Gribb

Co-Guest Stars
Peter BroccoPeter Brocco
Edwin OwensEdwin Owens
Nicholas WorthNicholas Worth
John A. ZeeJohn A. Zee
As TBD (as John Zee)
Bill CapizziBill Capizzi
Peter BroccoPeter Brocco
As Dr. Erhart Brandt
Nicholas WorthNicholas Worth
As Dick Hemmet
Argentina BrunettiArgentina Brunetti
As Celeste Diagusta
Essex SmithEssex Smith
As Ted Shakley
Leonard BarrLeonard Barr
As Comic

Henry G. SandersHenry G. Sanders
As Clancy Turner
Ken HillKen Hill
Renée JonesRenée Jones
As Marie (as Rene Jones)
Renée JonesRenée Jones
As TBD (as Rene Jones)
William SwanWilliam Swan
As TBD (as Bill Swan)
Jonathan TerryJonathan Terry
As Jason Wheelright (as Jon Terry)
Jonathan TerryJonathan Terry
As TBD (as Jon Terry)
Main Cast
Ben VereenBen Vereen
As E.L. "Tenspeed" Turner
Jeff GoldblumJeff Goldblum
As Lionel "Brownshoe" Whitney


Posadas, Paraguay – Today..

Read the full recap
Episode Quotes
Dr. Brandt: The smell of burning flesh. Screams of agony mixed with the whistle of the falling bombs. "Take them," he said. "Take them." And he thrust the bag at me, at the villa. for the New Order. He knew he would be killed. Still he thought only of the New Order. Only about the dream. A dream for which I have lived. A dream that you have destroyed.

Lionel: Savage says, "Watch out for blondes with cute names. They look innocent and beautiful, but they can kill you. This one was named Tink. She stood on the threshold of my Hollywood apartment, her dress tighter than two sailors on liberty. The Russian-made Tokerev 3.5 automatic swaying slightly in her alabaster hand. She screamed at me and fired. I took the lead high in my should and felt that trapdoor open. I was down the rabbit hole again... down in the darkness where Father Time wears a frocked coat and holds your life like a conductor's watch, the seconds ticking down to zero. I'd been here before. Death's Waiting Room... the outer office to Eternity." Savage says, "The ones with the cute names are hiding something. Tink was hiding a killer instinct. Yeah, watch out for blondes with cute names. But I hadn't, and now the old man in the frocked coat was writing in his book under "Foolish," under "Dead," he was writing my name... 'Mark Savage, Private Eye'."

Ruth LaCross: Ooh, this cab smell awful! What makes taxis smell so bad?
Driver: Drunks throw up in them.

Herman LaCross: Bull! When the going gets rough, the dress clerks jump out. The tigers jump in and make the profits. Now it's been that way, it's going to continue to be that way. What you have to find out is, are you a dress clerk or a tiger?

Lionel: I'm trying to be nice to your folks, but they're treating me like a giant bag of dog chow.

Lionel: "I was down there again. Sitting on the old man's faded black couch, the one with the bloodstains. Old men and dead hookers lounged there with me. The voices of my companions came through a rusty wire and spilled out at me through a broken speaker screeching my obituary... Mark Savage, Hollywood tough guy, iced by a dippy dame with a ten-pound Russian cannon. I should have known she was a wrongo the day her mother came into my office spilling cigarette ashes and wheezing at me through yellow teeth. 'Find my daughter,' she said. I found her and she'd punched my ticket with cold lead and sent me to this place. Savage says if you want to know about a girl, take a look at her mother, 'cause that's what she'll be in twenty years. Her mother was a killer and, under all that beauty, so was she. I had ignored my own advice and so I got what I deserved."

Lionel: Lionel Whitney. I'm a, uh, stockbroker. Wingtips, conservative tie, Aqua Velva--the whole depressing package.

Lionel: I have this theory: beware of girls with cute names. They're hiding something.
Martha Gribbs: That's why you're marrying a girl named Bunny?

Martha Gribb: You be Colonel Mustard. He's an adventurer like you. And I'll be Miss Scarlet. She's sexy and has a past.
Lionel: Do you think daughters turn out to be like their mothers? I mean, do they end up looking and talking like their mothers 20 years later?
Martha Gribb: I don't know, Lionel. I guess it's possible. I suppose you'll have to roll the dice and find out.

E.L.: What is this?
Construction Worker: Sardines and peanut butter.
E.L.: Nobody puts sardines on peanut butter.
Construction Worker: You do if you like it.
E.L.: Then you eat it.

E.L.: So would you lighten up, Lionel? Look, it's just a petty car beef, man. They're not going to tube you for that.
Lionel: Tube me?
E.L.: Yeah, I mean, look, 'especially since it's your first offense, man. Let's see, you draw a little probation, you watch your step, keep your nose clean, and the most they can do is take away your voting rights. And the way things are, who can pick a candidate?

Lionel: No, let me guess. You're an astronaut, right? You and John Glenn and Mickey Mouse got a bad re-entry and you just happened to land in the front seat of that limo.

E.L.: Lionel, calm down.
Lionel: Calm down? Calm down?!? You... you put me in the middle, between the American Nazi Party and the Mob, and you say calm down?? I'm gonna kill you. Whoever you are, I'm gonna catch you and kill you.
E.L.: Reason can never prevail in an atmosphere of violence.

E.L.: Hey, man, you're mad at me. I--I can get behind that. I mean, things have been a little strange. But, look. Do you believe in situational time warps, Lionel? That's where space and time come together in little eddies of disaster, sometimes sweeping innocent lives into areas of total darkness...
Lionel: Gibberish. Gibberish! You see, that's the kinda stuff that gets me mad.

Lionel: Mr. Okahamu says that karate should never be used in anger.
E.L.: Mr. Okahamu is grossly misinformed.

Jason Wheelright: You're a jailhouse lawyer, eh?
E.L.: No, sir. Two years, Yale Law. I was bounced out for rigging a student election and skipping to Tijuana with the funds. You should have been with me, Lionel.
Jason Wheelright: Is this guy on the level?
Lionel: Almost never.

Lionel: Savage says that, "All's well that ends well. But this one had ended with Charlene back in New York and me with a lump in my throat. Oh yeah, I was gonna make it. I was gonna be clear. But all the rest of my days, I'd carry her with me like a twenty-pound weight on my heart. I'd smell that perfume wafting up out of my dreams to sting my cheek with tears. Yeah, I was gonna be okay. She was gone, but I was still Mark Savage, Private Eye."

Cultural References
Series creator Stephen Cannell makes his first appearance on the back cover of Lionel's Mark savage novel.

Lionel: First you're Steppin Fetchit, then you're Sidney Poitier, and now you're Ephram Zimbalist.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorStephen J. Cannell
Executive ProducerStephen J. Cannell
ProducerAlex Beaton
CastingReuben Cannon
First Assistant DirectorWilliam Morrison (2)
Second Assistant DirectorMichael Winter (3)
MusicPete Carpenter  |  Mike Post
HairstylistMonique Desart
Make-upRobert Jerman
Set DecoratorJacqueline S. Price
Property MasterAllan Gordon (1)
Production CoordinatorSusan Frush-Itkin
Director of PhotographyWilliam Gereghty (1)
Stunt CoordinatorDennis Madalone
Art DirectorAllen E. Smith
Production ManagerSheldon M. Hayutin
Production AccountantGlenn Nicol
Film EditorGloryette Clark  |  Robert Hernandez
WardrobeKen Harvey  |  Winnie Brown
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