Laura gets a phone call from the next door neighbor, Dottie, informing her that Ellen, Dottie’s daughter, has a slight temperature and that she should watch Richie since the two children were playing together. Laura hangs up the phone with Dottie and Richie informs her that Ellen has a disease and that he hopes he gets it. Laura asks him why to which he replies that he doesn’t want to go to school because they are teaching him stupid things like the alphabet. Laura tells him if he wants to be a television writer, like his daddy he is going to have to know his alphabet. Richie tells Laura that he already knows his alphabet and rattles off the letters until “W”. Laura asks him what happened to the rest of the letters and he informs her that he just got tired of saying the letters. She asks him if a chocolate cupcake may help him regain his energy, but he says that he doesn’t want one. Laura asks him if he had anything to eat at Dottie’s house, but he says that all he had to eat was water. Laura feels his forehead and tells him that she is going to call Dr. Miller. Richie begins to panic and tells his mom that he will eat the cupcake if she doesn’t call the doctor. He then locks himself in one of the lower cabinets. He doesn’t come out until Laura reminds him that he likes Dr. Miller and he tells her that he forgot...Read the full recap
(Rob takes the liver out of the frying pan)
Laura: What are you doing?
Rob: I know you. Once this liver is cooked you'll never go.
Laura: You won't change my mind, so you might as well put it back in the pan.
Rob: Oh, let's talk it over a little longer.
Laura: Robert, will you please put my liver back.
Sally: I've got another word over here, milkbath.
Buddy: Milkbath! Say that is a good one...anybody else got one?
Buddy: All right, a friend of mine was very seriously hurt while taking a milkbath. (to Sally) Ask me why.
Buddy: Funny you should ask. What happened was, the cow slipped on a piece of soap and fell on his head.
Laura: Oh, and Janie, if anything unusual happens just call your mother, she lives next door.
Rob: She knows where her mother lives.
Laura: Well there are symptoms.
Rob: What symptoms?
Rob: Come on, I'm the boy's father.
Laura: He turned down his cupcake.
(acting as if he is startled by the news)
Rob: He turned down his cupcake! And you didn't call the ambulance!
Rob: Hi, honey. How’s your white satin evening gown?
Laura: Fine. How’s your red flannel bathrobe?
Mel: (pointing at Buddy) What about him?
Buddy: Him will be there with bells on. If it’s cold I’ll wear something warmer.
Mel: Rob, as the producer of this show, once more I must insist that you must instruct your staff to show me a little respect.
Buddy: We're showing you as little respect as possible.
Sally: ...and Mr. Cooley is paid to produce the show because...
Buddy: ...because he is the star's brother-in-law.
Sally: I've got a date with an unmarried accountant I would like to get there before he gets married.
Rob: Now wait a minute.
(takes the paper out of the typewriter Sally is using)
Sally: That won’t stop me. I’ll type it on the ribbon.
Rob: I don’t think we should end this week’s show with a joke. I’d like Alan to come out and say something with meaning.
Buddy: Yeah? What kind of meaning?
Rob: I wrote down a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Buddy: What show does he write for?
Buddy: Maybe he says something philosophical like, Folks, remember save your money. Someday it may be worth something.
Sally: ...and remember the Alan Brady thought of the day is, Drive carefully, especially on the sidewalks.
Laura: Did you eat anything next door?
Richie: Just water I ate.
Laura: Just water. You should feel hungry.
(Laura feels Richie’s forehead, then her own and then Richie’s again)
Richie: Do I feel hungry, mommy?
Janie: What did you say was in the bowl on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator?
Rob: Who knows? If it's food, eat it. If it's a phone number, call it!
When Sally is singing her song, in one of the frames her hands are down. In the next frame are up by her neck.
When Janie leaves to go home she leaves all of her school books on the table.
When Rob is doing the impression of Laura's Uncle Henry, you can see where the carpet ends and the hard floor of the studio begins when he falls on the ground.